I loved the compositions, nice and dramatic what with the angles and perspective. Looked like you really worked hard get those right.
also liked the writing. reminded me of tekkonkinkreet a bit.( if that's how you spell it)
felt fun, like this character can be in for some lighthearted stuff but also gritty at the same time.
Intro Story / Mob
Critiques & Comments
# 7
Posted:
Sep 16 2021, 10:41 PM
# 6
Posted:
Sep 11 2021, 10:26 AM
Excellent intro. You clearly have a strong grasp of the comics visual language. Nice utilization of some things manga does best— establishing shots and quick, ambient shots to communicate a scene transition, and thoughts and ideas in the form of “sound effects”.
Your art is solid. I could certainly find things to nitpick here, but in comics, clarity is king— and you show some serious chops here where it counts.
Looking forward to seeing how you handle yourself in a battle!
Your art is solid. I could certainly find things to nitpick here, but in comics, clarity is king— and you show some serious chops here where it counts.
Looking forward to seeing how you handle yourself in a battle!
# 5
Posted:
Sep 11 2021, 02:46 AM
Wow, I did not expect that ending. What a horrifying origin story I really dig the mix of mundane problems (losing your home) with otherworldly ones (the box). Great monochrome too! The background seemed either too bare or too textured though; I’d suggest using screentones just for shadows OR putting a light texture over the whole page. As for the backgrounds - random lines, cracks, and dots can do wonders. You did this well with the lamppost on page 1, panel 9, just try applying that to other surfaces!
# 4
Posted:
Sep 10 2021, 01:35 PM
This was such an intriguing intro story, I'm really interested in seeing more of Mob! Awesome work! : )
# 3
Posted:
Sep 10 2021, 01:25 PM
This was a treat to read! I agree with PutridVodka, the feeling of helplessness found it's way into my gut as I read this. The juxtaposition of him stealing and then having his home stolen from him is gold, and the way he reacts to these situations feels exactly right. I'd love to see more from this character!
# 2
Posted:
Sep 9 2021, 01:48 PM
LOVED this!! The feeling of helplessness from Mob is very tangible, and the use of halftones was really good! Mob's expressions were great! His desperation to just get by was portrayed very nicely
# 1
Posted:
Sep 9 2021, 09:06 AM
I thoroughly enjoyed this intro. Really good pacing and set up and now I want to see more of him. I know you plan to reveal more about those eyes later on so I'll just wait for the next installment.
Beyond Battle
Ended:
Sep 16th, 2021
Votes Cast:
17
Page Views:
1151
Help Needed
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