Dungeon Master of Disaster, Round 2 / Kujo vs. Lynch

Dungeon Master of Disaster, Round 2 / Kujo vs. Lynch

Dungeon Master of Disaster, Round 2 — Kujo vs. Lynch

by Pita

This comic has been rated suitable for all ages by its creator(s)

Icon for Kujo47.1%
302 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9Page 10

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
No colors again, only inks. Tried to do some cool things.
tags:


by Cab

This comic has been rated suitable for teens and up by its creator(s)

Icon for Lynch52.9%
339 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9Page 10Page 11Page 12Page 13Page 14Page 15Page 16Page 17Page 18Page 19Page 20Page 21Page 22Page 23Page 24Page 25Page 26Page 27Page 28Page 29Page 30Page 31Page 32Page 33Page 34

Crit level: No critique desired, comments encouraged
tags:




Critiques & Comments
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Pita
Community Manager
250 comments
# 10   Posted: Aug 22 2021, 07:33 PM
However I do feel like Lynch should have been brought up again towards the end - Connor seemingly gives up his search for her and lets Crestwood take him back to the castle, and I’m not sure why. Was he still planning to take on Montague after Kujo has been petrified? Did he truly not care about Lynch anymore, leaving her to run around in the woods?
Quote from: TheCydork

I'm gonna discuss my plans for the bonus round if I had won and all the other questions asked here--

+ I wanted to focus on Conner for this match-up, and Lynch was required in order for the submission to be legitimate, so she got a cameo.

+ Crestwood and Conner had an understanding that if the latter helped find Kujo, the former would help find Lynch.  This was alluded to in the first page and confirmed on the last page.

Now, if I had won this round, the plan was going to be that Kujo's owner was the Final Boss.  I kept the identity intentionally vague because I had no idea who it was going to be.  The reveal of the Obsidian King being was serendipitous and kind of the perfect person for Kujo to be running away from (double coincidence with the skull motif and his mark).  Maybe in the future I can do a concluding entry that would tie up all the loose bits from these first two comics, but I make no promises.

TheCydork
Artist
579 comments
# 9   Posted: Jun 30 2021, 09:36 PM
Pita - Really enjoyed this, and I’d have loved to see it complete, but as it stands I think you made a good choice having everything inked. It looks very polished. Absolutely loved Kujo’s expressions and body language, Connor was stylised nicely too. Believable and natural conflict from the whole “Connor giving up his glory for Lynch” thing.

I actually don’t think Lynch’s minor appearance is a problem. Tbh, it makes sense to me to focus on Connor since he has been the constant during the switch from Veruca to Lynch. However I do feel like Lynch should have been brought up again towards the end - Connor seemingly gives up his search for her and lets Crestwood take him back to the castle, and I’m not sure why. Was he still planning to take on Montague after Kujo has been petrified? Did he truly not care about Lynch anymore, leaving her to run around in the woods?

Flytee
Artist
266 comments
# 8   Posted: Jun 30 2021, 01:16 AM
Cab- Sure the page counts impressive, but what really impresses me is the level of detail and planning you're putting into these dense narratives. Juggling your character's stories along with opponents in a tourney setting can't be easy, but you work really well under these constraints. Reminds me of your invitationals.

Pita- appealing art and well-written dialogue, basically what I've come to expect from a pita comic. Your Conner redesign took some getting used to but I really liked it by the end.
I also third the points about you successfully building and maintaining tension. Kujo's fate at the end really kept me hooked on the story. Great job!

Crit wise- I don't have a lot for you & what I do have I'm not even sure if it counts. It's tough because if time contracts meant you could only do inks in order to finish your comic, that's completely fair and a smart way of working. But I can't deny that the lack of even the smallest amount of shading held the comic back for me & sapped a lot of potential atmosphere out of the art. it might be worth devising a simplified method of shading/ lighting to add to your inks when you're under a time crunch.

Gregly
Artist
158 comments
# 7   Posted: Jun 29 2021, 07:14 PM
Pita the art in this is really good. it's odd that lynch isnt included much but i like that you put the focus on connor for this one. Your design of him is inspired i like him more bird-like.. there's no reveal for it though, we see him in the full suit of armor and then with the helmet off in the first panel of p3. You really wrote the dialogue between them well, there's good back and forth that sounds natural and gives Kujo a good chance to be manipulative and really get in connor's head. I agree with Kilcra you kept the tension up and it drives the story forward. Quite good! and the little frozen Kujo at the end is v cute and sad!

Cab the story in this is very good (and im not just biased because of all the old gwen inclusion) i'm quite interested to see what's next from Lynch and Connor. Im impressed by the number of pages you did and the amount of story you could convey but in the middle it gets a little tight-- you cut back and forth between connor and lynch's pages really rapidly during high intensity moments. (The best example is p18, one for connor, right in the midst of lynch getting bewitched.) Both of their parts are on their own whole pages, which maybe you did for easy reorganizing-- but maybe if you had the scene transition in the middle of the page it wouldnt feel so jarring? That's just a nitpick though, you really made me feel for these characters and excited for more with this!

Kilcra
Artist
38 comments
# 6   Posted: Jun 27 2021, 12:38 PM
Pita: You did a wonderful job keeping the tension. The Kobold's speech about "supposed-to's" was very convincing, and I felt for him the whole time. There were times I looked at the page and got a little overwhelmed by the amount of text, but you wrote very well and rewarded the reader for sticking with it. The ending was wonderfully uncomfortable, and you successfully made me feel like I wouldn't know what to do in the protagonist's situation.

Cab: I was emotionally invested IMMEDIATELY. Connor is such a ridiculously cute character, and seeing him not love himself in his own skin is heartbreaking. Lynch's personality shines too, and the dynamic between her and Connor felt almost like siblings at the beginning. The plot is complicated, but you made the characters so relatable that I had no issues following. It wrapped up very neatly, and watching Connor be so kind only to be hurt so badly pulled at my heart strings.

Rikun
Artist
132 comments
# 5   Posted: Jun 26 2021, 10:05 AM
Pita:
I've always felt you have great draftsmanship especially when it comes to animals and I can see how expressive you were with Kujo. That said it also feels that for this comic Lynch was only an afterthought and I'm wondering if this was a case of time constraint or if you're just more comfortable drawing anthropomorphic characters as opposed to humans.

The biggest advice I can give is that your inks are smooth, but there wasn't a lot of line width variety going on and I found some of the compositions hard to make out. I'd suggest that you use thicker lines to indicate what part of the composition should stand out, and the rule of thumb is that thicker outlines appear closer than thinner outlines. I can see your first pages started off that way, but the later pages dropped off. Also if you aim to do mostly lineart for the next time, try experimenting with hatching to give some neat detail and pseudo shadows.

Cab:
The sheer amount of pages and story you made in 2 weeks is impressive, and I envy how you can jump from thumbnail to inks in one step. Outside of a couple typos I noticed throughout your comic, the biggest critique I can give you is TANGENTS.

There are several panels where you either cut off your characters by the ankles or their feet/top of their head touch the edge of the border. The best way to combat tangents is to zoom out enough so the characters have breathing room from top to bottom, and believe me my storyboard professors grilled me like mad on this. There are also areas where you have random negative space that serves no purpose but those aren't as noticeable as the tangents. Outside of that, keep up the good work!

Fluffsamasprime
Artist
286 comments
# 4   Posted: Jun 25 2021, 12:07 PM
Congrats on the 50th comic Cab!! I really enjoyed the tie in with Kujo's story to yours.

Thank you Pita, human handed Connor will haunt me forever

Cab
Artist
118 comments
# 3   Posted: Jun 25 2021, 02:52 AM
I'm sorry at one point in the script there was gonna be a Beholder, but he got cut in the later drafts, maybe next time. I had tons of fun making this tale, I hope you all get to understand both Connor and Lynch a bit more, and I like to thank my Opponent Pita for making a 10 pager, I hope she had as much fun making these comics as I did. DmoD has been one crazy ride so far :-)

Fluffsamasprime
Artist
286 comments
# 2   Posted: Jun 11 2021, 12:53 AM
I hope we get to see a beholder in this one!

Footini
Artist
312 comments
# 1   Posted: Jun 10 2021, 04:14 PM
Lynch about to get sent to dog jail

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Jul 2nd, 2021
Votes Cast: 15
Page Views: 657
Winner: Cab
 

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