I am leaving before this will end, so I just wanted to thank everyone for their comments and critiques!
Graph, I told you already, but WONDERFUL work. You captured Lune's expressions perfectly and your action scenes are awesome!
Kate vs. Lune
Critiques & Comments
# 26
Posted:
Feb 8 2009, 05:59 PM
# 25
Posted:
Feb 7 2009, 05:26 PM
Great work from both of you!
@Graphyte Ronin: you had a lot of negative space goin' on and the backgrounds you had felt lacking at times. Cool comic though, I liked it.
@Luniara: lovely colors, they looked very nice. The dialogue could use a bit of work....hmmm, not much else I can think of critiquing at the moment. You did a pretty sweet job and I also liked the story, hope to see more from ya.
@Graphyte Ronin: you had a lot of negative space goin' on and the backgrounds you had felt lacking at times. Cool comic though, I liked it.
@Luniara: lovely colors, they looked very nice. The dialogue could use a bit of work....hmmm, not much else I can think of critiquing at the moment. You did a pretty sweet job and I also liked the story, hope to see more from ya.
# 24
Posted:
Feb 4 2009, 09:06 AM
Graphyte: Those inks are looking clean! They're really smooth. The quality was the same all the way through and that makes the comic more uniform. The only thing that really caught my attention was that it seemed empty most of the time. When you DID have backgrounds, there wasn't much in them. Though I know you can fix that quick; just give the BG a little lovin' too C: The story was ok. It wasn't really grasping and I kinda found myself forcing myself to read it ( a lot of text scares me sometimes though ). I was still able to read it and the dialouge ran pretty smooth and real. I can't really pick at anything here and I think it was pretty good. I hope you stick around for a while!
Lune: The art was gorgeous! I was suprised to see that you had that quality all the way through! And for real, I was excpecting the last few pages to be like..half done or something, but i was REALLY happy to see that you finished it, all nice and neat and purdy. I loved the colors you used; it felt really warm and set the mood right. The story, yessss, are we having a story arch here?? That was perfect how you combined Dr. Fab's and Mize's story in there too. Now we have to look out for them and see how they're gonna play off this ( if they are ). The dialouge was smooth and believable; nothing sounded awkward. I'm hella glad that you're back and kicking! I hope you do more; now you have me drawn in!
Lune: The art was gorgeous! I was suprised to see that you had that quality all the way through! And for real, I was excpecting the last few pages to be like..half done or something, but i was REALLY happy to see that you finished it, all nice and neat and purdy. I loved the colors you used; it felt really warm and set the mood right. The story, yessss, are we having a story arch here?? That was perfect how you combined Dr. Fab's and Mize's story in there too. Now we have to look out for them and see how they're gonna play off this ( if they are ). The dialouge was smooth and believable; nothing sounded awkward. I'm hella glad that you're back and kicking! I hope you do more; now you have me drawn in!
# 23
Posted:
Feb 4 2009, 08:03 AM
GR: the first time i read through this, i just sort of skimmed through and didn't really pay attention. then i read through a couple more times and found that the story was actually pretty interesting. when you're doing a comic where people are mostly just talking to each other, i think it's important to have detailed backgrounds (not like drawing every single blade of grass, more like having the certain details in strategic locations). it helps gives the reader something to rest their eyes on---a panel with just people and speech bubbles will get quickly scanned over, i think, regardless of how much text is in those bubbles. talking comics rely a lot on pacing, so knowing where to make the reader linger and where to make them scan over is key.
this is kind of weird, but one thing i REALLY like about your comic is your handwriting and speech bubbles. they seem loose and relaxed, but also very professional, and i think it compliments your style well.
lune: the story was nice, and i didn't find myself barreling through to get to the end. there's something about the way you wrote and drew dr. fabulous that made me hear his lines in the voice of Frank Nelson, and i loved that.
one thing that troubled me about the artwork was the folds and wrinkles on the clothing: they tended to abruptly stop at the edge of a form instead of curve around it.
the other thing was i often found myself thinking that the linework didn't mesh well with the colors. i don’t have much experience in color, but i think that some jobs are best left to lines and some to color. like dr. fabulous’ right cheek (his right) on page 3---it’s surrounded by a black line which makes it seem like a separate entity from his face. i think it would have been depicted better if you kept the black line on the bottom half, where the curling/folding of flesh is most extreme, and used a tone (color) to represent the top half. same thing with the last panel of page 9---i think it would look better if you drew the silhouette of mize’s face and used tone to sculpt out his jawline.
i understand how it feels to get back to drawing after a long break. it’s kind of a pain in the ass, but also kind of addictive, right?
this is kind of weird, but one thing i REALLY like about your comic is your handwriting and speech bubbles. they seem loose and relaxed, but also very professional, and i think it compliments your style well.
lune: the story was nice, and i didn't find myself barreling through to get to the end. there's something about the way you wrote and drew dr. fabulous that made me hear his lines in the voice of Frank Nelson, and i loved that.
one thing that troubled me about the artwork was the folds and wrinkles on the clothing: they tended to abruptly stop at the edge of a form instead of curve around it.
the other thing was i often found myself thinking that the linework didn't mesh well with the colors. i don’t have much experience in color, but i think that some jobs are best left to lines and some to color. like dr. fabulous’ right cheek (his right) on page 3---it’s surrounded by a black line which makes it seem like a separate entity from his face. i think it would have been depicted better if you kept the black line on the bottom half, where the curling/folding of flesh is most extreme, and used a tone (color) to represent the top half. same thing with the last panel of page 9---i think it would look better if you drew the silhouette of mize’s face and used tone to sculpt out his jawline.
i understand how it feels to get back to drawing after a long break. it’s kind of a pain in the ass, but also kind of addictive, right?
# 22
Posted:
Feb 4 2009, 03:07 AM
Lunaria - it's awsome, great come back
# 21
Posted:
Feb 4 2009, 12:53 AM
wow both were beautiful well done guys
# 20
Posted:
Feb 3 2009, 10:20 PM
Always a joy to view Lune. Always a joy.
# 19
Posted:
Feb 3 2009, 10:20 PM
Ronin-Very cool! Love reading it! I would like to see more backgrounds, and your panels were confusing at time, but I loved the story and interaction. Very interesting.
Luniara-Aweeeeeesome. You just raised my void standards.
Luniara-Aweeeeeesome. You just raised my void standards.
# 18
Posted:
Feb 3 2009, 01:28 PM
graph- I like the drawing of the characters, I wish the background was a little better defined and that there was more of it. The story kind of bored me a bit, I couldn't really care about the characters and it seemed to drag on for a page of two more than it needed to.
Luniara- The colors are nice(a little dark). The background seemed like more of an afterthought though. The story flowed well. Anatomy was a little off every once in a while, especially on background characters, but overall good job.
Luniara- The colors are nice(a little dark). The background seemed like more of an afterthought though. The story flowed well. Anatomy was a little off every once in a while, especially on background characters, but overall good job.
# 17
Posted:
Feb 3 2009, 12:47 PM
Graphyte-I always love your work and stories, while nothing thrilling happened I was entertained and found the interaction convincing. You've improved a lot with characters but your backgrounds are still empty a lot of time. Try to give them some line variation and perhaps some texture. (drawn texture, not texture a'la Angie) I really hope you plan on sticking around this time since I've always been a fan.
Lune-The art and coloring were very solid here, I also am curious about where Lune's story will go next. There were some times where the coloring got a little dark, it probably doesn't help that I'm reading this while it's sunny outside. The only other thing I noticed was Kate's dialogue could have perhaps been a little better during the fight scene. Granted I know exactly how hard it is to write good fighting dialogue, I have yet to be able to do it haha Other than that you did a great job, I really hope you do some more battles!
Lune-The art and coloring were very solid here, I also am curious about where Lune's story will go next. There were some times where the coloring got a little dark, it probably doesn't help that I'm reading this while it's sunny outside. The only other thing I noticed was Kate's dialogue could have perhaps been a little better during the fight scene. Granted I know exactly how hard it is to write good fighting dialogue, I have yet to be able to do it haha Other than that you did a great job, I really hope you do some more battles!
# 16
Posted:
Feb 3 2009, 12:39 PM
What can I say? It's great to see the both of you back.
GraphiteR: Your linework's improved a lot, especially when expressing fluid motion. As for the story, it was light and cute, so a pretty good way to reintroduce Kate back into Void. My only suggestion is that you continue to refine your lines and work on your shading since as of now your comic looks a bit flat. Varying line width and more shading can help you out a lot. Detailed backgrounds will also help.
Lune: What can I say? Your linework, your coloring, and even the story was spot on. You really gave us one hell of a comeback, and I like how you left Lune's story as a continuing one, it really gets me interested in the character. I really hope to see more of Lune in the future. I can see the amount of effort you took in this comic, and it just made my day.
As corny as it might sound, I found this battle to be inspiring myself and now I really wanna get back in the game. Thank you so much for all your hard work!
GraphiteR: Your linework's improved a lot, especially when expressing fluid motion. As for the story, it was light and cute, so a pretty good way to reintroduce Kate back into Void. My only suggestion is that you continue to refine your lines and work on your shading since as of now your comic looks a bit flat. Varying line width and more shading can help you out a lot. Detailed backgrounds will also help.
Lune: What can I say? Your linework, your coloring, and even the story was spot on. You really gave us one hell of a comeback, and I like how you left Lune's story as a continuing one, it really gets me interested in the character. I really hope to see more of Lune in the future. I can see the amount of effort you took in this comic, and it just made my day.
As corny as it might sound, I found this battle to be inspiring myself and now I really wanna get back in the game. Thank you so much for all your hard work!
# 15
Posted:
Feb 3 2009, 10:08 AM
Nice!
Graphite: Welcome back mang! Kinda thought you weren't going to do anything for a moment. So far this is looking quite sharp, one of your better comics fer sure. The only problem you have is with the negative space in your linework, you gotta find a way to fill that up somehow. Other than that, I really enjoyed reading this comic.
Lune: Artistically this battle is yours, right now this is looking to be your best so far, the story however was maybe a bit much for me. I kinda saw the fight happening from a mile away, not that it's an entirely bad thing though, but the story here was also a very interesting read like Graph's and so far you've got me curious as to what's gonna happen next with your character.
I liked both comics so far, and I hope you two keep up this level of quality. Vote goes to Luniara
Graphite: Welcome back mang! Kinda thought you weren't going to do anything for a moment. So far this is looking quite sharp, one of your better comics fer sure. The only problem you have is with the negative space in your linework, you gotta find a way to fill that up somehow. Other than that, I really enjoyed reading this comic.
Lune: Artistically this battle is yours, right now this is looking to be your best so far, the story however was maybe a bit much for me. I kinda saw the fight happening from a mile away, not that it's an entirely bad thing though, but the story here was also a very interesting read like Graph's and so far you've got me curious as to what's gonna happen next with your character.
I liked both comics so far, and I hope you two keep up this level of quality. Vote goes to Luniara
# 14
Posted:
Feb 3 2009, 09:53 AM
that was really awesome from both sides.. GR yur battle was really lite and fun.. i enjoyed all the arcade scenes and the dialogue was cute and didnt sound unnatural for the most part. till you got to the mize section.. the conflict sounded a bit forced.
lune.. soo soo glad you did this.. yous inspired me to battle again and to do it the right way. loved seein this.. ive already told you my crits on it in IM so i wont bother a second time but i really loved it as a whole... even with no foo cameo ;P great job homes.
lune.. soo soo glad you did this.. yous inspired me to battle again and to do it the right way. loved seein this.. ive already told you my crits on it in IM so i wont bother a second time but i really loved it as a whole... even with no foo cameo ;P great job homes.
# 13
Posted:
Feb 2 2009, 11:35 PM
25 mins to spare, can't wait to see what you both crank out!
# 12
Posted:
Feb 2 2009, 11:26 PM
Uploaded!
# 11
Posted:
Feb 2 2009, 06:05 AM
*ahem* girl and guy. I so sorry.
# 10
Posted:
Feb 2 2009, 06:03 AM
One more dayyyy!! Cant wait to see what you girls got!
# 9
Posted:
Jan 22 2009, 01:09 PM
This battle will be awesome! Looking forward to it. Good luck girls!
# 8
Posted:
Jan 16 2009, 08:34 PM
yeah yeah looking forward to this one
# 7
Posted:
Jan 9 2009, 12:07 AM
Can't wait to see this Battle XD Good Luck to both of you
# 6
Posted:
Jan 5 2009, 06:33 PM
DON'T SCREW UP YOUR BIG COME BACK LIKE JOHNNY, OK THANKS BYE.
# 5
Posted:
Jan 5 2009, 05:45 PM
ah hellz yeah!
# 4
Posted:
Jan 5 2009, 05:26 PM
About time you two came back!
# 3
Posted:
Jan 5 2009, 05:19 PM
it's been a while~!
looking forward to this C=
looking forward to this C=
# 2
Posted:
Jan 5 2009, 05:09 PM
Oh wow, my chief complaint about Lune has been answered.
Good luck to both of you.
Good luck to both of you.
# 1
Posted:
Jan 5 2009, 04:02 PM
Asdf! so many awesome people are coming back :O!
Regular Match
Drawing Time:
4 weeks
Ended:
Feb 9th, 2009
Votes Cast:
51
Page Views:
4113
Winner:
luniara
Help Needed
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Artist
A parting shot:
http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v391/graphyteronin/so_sad.jpg
Fantastic battle, Luniara-- a victory well-deserved, it was one of the nicest-looking battles I've seen on the site. It makes me sad that the battle ends that way, but I think you're strong for taking the story route in the end.