Dances with Wolves / Sovereign Greece vs. Black Swan
Critiques & Comments
# 15
Posted:
May 17 2020, 05:49 PM
Really just wanna say both of you did INCREDIBLE! Very sexy, solid stories, very well done both of you!
# 14
Posted:
May 15 2020, 03:51 PM
GodDAMN the both of you! Absolutely KILLED IT! A shame there weren't any tiny, cartoon animals going at it for some folks, eh? Ha ha, anywho...
Shen: Loved your story from beginning to end. You really had me with the spin on Greece ACTUALLY blowing the place up. I was like "awe he just wanted to see Swan again-- oh shit!" Your scenes with the changing positions read smoothly to me - my only suggestion which has already been made here, is to do a little more anatomy studies to apply to your style. For women especially, try smoothing out areas like where the rib cage meets the stomach to hips with sweeping lines instead of in segments; let the lines flow like you do beautifully with hair! Somebody mentioned lighting but I don't share that opinion - this read to me as a one night stand ordeal, not a passionate affair, which I believe is what you were looking to accomplish. Only other thing I can think of is that I would've liked to see Swan use some of those Sylph powers during all that heated UNF. But other than that, I think you did wonderfully, and I learned something about Greece along the way while keeping that "want it but shouldn't" vibe from Swan. Excellent, sexy work my dear!!
JCee: Lawdy, the sexy is oozing from them beautiful bodies you drew! As with Shen's, I found the rapid switching and multiple positions paramount to the kind of sex they were having - again, one night stand, trying to prove something to the other, type of ordeal. I can tell you really enjoyed drawing each position from bodies to expressions, and I enjoyed being a pervert while looking them over! :B There's only 2 things I can think of to work on: First has already been mentioned, the transition of Greece being in cuffs may have worked better if you'd had one panel maybe on page 14 or earlier, showing Swan convincing Greece to put them on. I think that would have sold it a little better, although I found the ending still quite satisfying! The other is just a note of character - If this comic was just for setup of smut, disregard. But if this would be considered part of Swan's canon, then I have to wonder just where her moral alignment is. While getting Greece arrested in the hilarious end, she was still down for the DO with a terrorist, even apparently instigating it from the get-go. But I also get the sense that she's trying to liberate herself from what happened with Remy, possibly making bad choices along the way? It's interesting, and I'd love to see you work more of that out in future comics!! Overall, a damn good job on the story and art!
Just wanna reiterate: You guys did amazing on these! Whether they were meant to be canononical or just smutty fun, they both worked superbly for either! GIVE ME MORE.
Shen: Loved your story from beginning to end. You really had me with the spin on Greece ACTUALLY blowing the place up. I was like "awe he just wanted to see Swan again-- oh shit!" Your scenes with the changing positions read smoothly to me - my only suggestion which has already been made here, is to do a little more anatomy studies to apply to your style. For women especially, try smoothing out areas like where the rib cage meets the stomach to hips with sweeping lines instead of in segments; let the lines flow like you do beautifully with hair! Somebody mentioned lighting but I don't share that opinion - this read to me as a one night stand ordeal, not a passionate affair, which I believe is what you were looking to accomplish. Only other thing I can think of is that I would've liked to see Swan use some of those Sylph powers during all that heated UNF. But other than that, I think you did wonderfully, and I learned something about Greece along the way while keeping that "want it but shouldn't" vibe from Swan. Excellent, sexy work my dear!!
JCee: Lawdy, the sexy is oozing from them beautiful bodies you drew! As with Shen's, I found the rapid switching and multiple positions paramount to the kind of sex they were having - again, one night stand, trying to prove something to the other, type of ordeal. I can tell you really enjoyed drawing each position from bodies to expressions, and I enjoyed being a pervert while looking them over! :B There's only 2 things I can think of to work on: First has already been mentioned, the transition of Greece being in cuffs may have worked better if you'd had one panel maybe on page 14 or earlier, showing Swan convincing Greece to put them on. I think that would have sold it a little better, although I found the ending still quite satisfying! The other is just a note of character - If this comic was just for setup of smut, disregard. But if this would be considered part of Swan's canon, then I have to wonder just where her moral alignment is. While getting Greece arrested in the hilarious end, she was still down for the DO with a terrorist, even apparently instigating it from the get-go. But I also get the sense that she's trying to liberate herself from what happened with Remy, possibly making bad choices along the way? It's interesting, and I'd love to see you work more of that out in future comics!! Overall, a damn good job on the story and art!
Just wanna reiterate: You guys did amazing on these! Whether they were meant to be canononical or just smutty fun, they both worked superbly for either! GIVE ME MORE.
# 13
Posted:
May 14 2020, 07:19 PM
Shen: Your story is great, I like how you implemented the sex as an element of the story. The sex itself wasn't the sexiest but it fits since this is looking on a past event with regret so having it look super ideal would sort of contrast with that tone. If you did want it to be sexier (This is complete subjectivity since what anyone finds sexy is different.) the one thing I would say most that would help is lighting, for bedroom scenes the lighting tends to be darker with some dim lighting only, I don't know why this is the case but bedroom scenes tend to have dark lighting. That being said the characters are well lit but the room is just too bright for them. The twist at the end was great story wise. This was a great comic with a nice implementation of sex into the story.
Jcee: I always love seeing your comics art, you have some of my favorite monochromic art on the site.
For the sex all the poses in your smut was great however the problem is in the pacing. Having a montage of poses works for a quick scene were the reader is but with the length of this scene there should have been more time spent on each pose giving us more intimacy like the two characters are having with each other. Each sex pose takes time to get into and a lot of movements so you can't treat it like a fight scene going from one pose to another without leaving the reader feeling like they're missing huge gaps of time. Some more close ups and different and less of the same poses would have made this feel more intimate and like the reader is in the scene. Also the final climax felt subdued. Not sure if you will do another smut comic again but those are things to keep in mind when telling a smut focused story.
Also in terms of story it's nice to see swan have a little fun and let loose it's a nice way to show character growth and Swan slowly able to move on and truly recover. I always enjoy your comics.
Jcee: I always love seeing your comics art, you have some of my favorite monochromic art on the site.
For the sex all the poses in your smut was great however the problem is in the pacing. Having a montage of poses works for a quick scene were the reader is but with the length of this scene there should have been more time spent on each pose giving us more intimacy like the two characters are having with each other. Each sex pose takes time to get into and a lot of movements so you can't treat it like a fight scene going from one pose to another without leaving the reader feeling like they're missing huge gaps of time. Some more close ups and different and less of the same poses would have made this feel more intimate and like the reader is in the scene. Also the final climax felt subdued. Not sure if you will do another smut comic again but those are things to keep in mind when telling a smut focused story.
Also in terms of story it's nice to see swan have a little fun and let loose it's a nice way to show character growth and Swan slowly able to move on and truly recover. I always enjoy your comics.
# 12
Posted:
May 14 2020, 11:44 AM
I'll say right out that this character dynamic ain't my personal jam, so any input I would have about the inherent sexiness of this match would be moot. Let's just get into the technical and storytelling points of these.
What strikes me first and foremost is how both of your characters used sex to get the upper hand in your respective rounds. The sheer coincidence of both of them having a work relationship in the ring was striking, too. If this was planned beforehand, that's a good way to maintain consistency within a character's arc. How for the individual bits--
SHEN
JCEE
What strikes me first and foremost is how both of your characters used sex to get the upper hand in your respective rounds. The sheer coincidence of both of them having a work relationship in the ring was striking, too. If this was planned beforehand, that's a good way to maintain consistency within a character's arc. How for the individual bits--
SHEN
JCEE
# 11
Posted:
May 11 2020, 05:20 PM
Great job, both of you.
# 10
Posted:
May 11 2020, 05:07 PM
THIS IS SOME REALLY GOOD STUFF, I need to think about my votes for a while and I'll try and maybe come up with something to critique whilst I do.
Great work guys, honestly, y'all nailed it.
Great work guys, honestly, y'all nailed it.
# 9
Posted:
May 11 2020, 12:07 PM
If I want to be honest I don't have much to say except the both of you did stellar jobs on your ends. You've both not only told a fun, kinky story but have also pushed your comic skills to the limit with every single new story you produce, whether it be Shen's colors or JCee's linework. I'm excited to see what more you can do with each of your respective characters, and I hope one day I'll have the chance to interact with them!!
# 7
Posted:
May 11 2020, 12:46 AM
I'm a good boy so I can't read any of these, but good job anyway!
# 6
Posted:
Apr 18 2020, 10:59 PM
extended but uh we should prolly warn you guys.... this ended up being a smut battle on both sides so.... NSFW warning
# 5
Posted:
Apr 6 2020, 11:22 AM
SO EXCITING
# 4
Posted:
Apr 6 2020, 06:44 AM
Next time I am going to have Pyras choose a title for my battles. This is perfect.
I CANNOT WAIT! SO HYPED FOR THIS!
I CANNOT WAIT! SO HYPED FOR THIS!
# 3
Posted:
Apr 5 2020, 07:26 PM
IT IS TIME
# 2
Posted:
Apr 5 2020, 06:06 PM
IT WAS FORETOLD BY GYROMANCY
# 1
Posted:
Apr 5 2020, 05:57 PM
as foretold by the prophecy
Regular Match
Drawing Time:
4 weeks + 1
Ended:
May 18th, 2020
Votes Cast:
25
Page Views:
2486
Winner:
JCee
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Artist
I'd like to commend you both for a job well done. I know this is a smut battle but I love that there is a story behind it and tension that can carry on to future comics for both of these characters. I like how Swan's experiences and trauma are changing her surprising everyone she is interacting with these days. I'd also like to see more of Greece and how he takes revenge on Swan after this (or the other way around, whichever you guys pick to be canon).
Either way, I REALLY REALLY hope this isn't the last time we see these two together in a comic. I know most ships lead to build up first before sex but starting it from a tryst and see how it goes from there is just as exciting.