The 2 speechbubbles in page 2 (Panel 2 and Panel 3) that cut into other panels as well, it confused me as to how I'm supposed to be reading the page, which panel is the next one. And this could be solved by zooming out and/or rearranging the panels composition.
But looks good overall! Cute characters~
Yeah, page 2's bubbles still need some positioning work, and I did see the issue with the second bubble cutting into the "5th" pannel
(middle right). I also agree that some of the shots could be pulled back a bit more and a couple tweaks made to the panel shapes as well. Lucky for me, I keep all my panel sketches on their own layers, so editing them isn't really much of an issue. ;b
As for page 1, again, bubble positioning could use a little tweaking before final. But generally, I'm happy with how Page 1 is set up. It's kind of meant to impose a sense of tension. Which is why I've chosen to keep the shots either close to the characters, or at strange semi-tilted angles.
As it goes from page 1 to page 4, the angles become more relaxed and inclusive of the whole area.
Once all the art itself is finished with backgrounds, lighting, and foreground elements, it'll be a little more effective than the sketch page is. :V
Thanks for the critique! I appreciate any and all feedback. ^^
Intro Story
King
@ 12:38 PM Mar 29th