[SeanMcShambles]

Howdy howdy.

So it's been quite a while since I've drawn properly and I figured the best way to relearn everything and learn all new things is to dive into the deep end and draw comics!

So here we are!

I hope to try to use Entervoid as a platform to gain new insight, constructive feedback/critiques and tips from the helpful denizens of the community and maybe one day I can finally figure out make comics properly!

So this is the char I'll probably be using:

Jacqueline Winifred Dawkins - AKA. Jackie D. (Known to authorities as "The Artful Dodger")

Jackie's background is, as her literature counterpart, a pickpocket. And cat burglar. She makes a living by stealing people's stuff. She actually ran away from a gang of thieves she was involved with and is trying to blend into the city/find help so she can get away from her cruel handler (I may or may not call him Fagin... but we'll see...) who is attempting to track her.

She most likely won't have a set costume, and her clothes will change with every comic (maybe even her hairstyles...)

She also has the ability to "steal" (not really - she just duplicates) other objects' and creatures' properties.
If she's touching metal, she can make her skin turn into metal. If she's touching someone with fire powers - she gains fire powers.
Her skin basically reads the object/person she's in contact with and reinterprets her genetic makeup so she can use the abilities of whatever she touched.

She's limited to being able to duplicate one set of properties at a time (she can't use more than one person's abilities at the same), and she can't gain the abilities of such things as Androids/robots (she just takes on the properties of whatever they're made of), creatures using magical artefacts (like a green lantern ring, for example) and struggles duplicating the powers of tremendously powerful creatures.

Her abilities come with some built-in intuitive aptitude in that she has a limited ability to access the memories of people she's absorbed in order to help her use her powers better. More often than not, she will use this ability to absorb memories to steal people's ATM pin codes and yoink their hard earned cash.

anyways... that's the basic idea i'm gonna work on/run with...

and i've started drawing intro pages, but I'm a little rusty so any input would be well received!

I don't normally draw much detail in pencils, as I tend to leave pencils loose enough that I have fun being creative with inks - but since I want to figure out the entire comic process and get better at draughtsmanship and whatnot, I'll be working with pencils a lot more...

also blue doesn't scan so well.

[PyrasTerran]

why hello new person on my hitlist!

and hey pages on the first post, great first impression!

[Cracking Skulls]

If she's touching someone with fire powers - she gains fire powers.

Hitlisted.




Aside from a promising concept and artwork, my only nitpick so far on your first page is the characters 1000 mile stare. They don't seem to be looking at each other, which I think if someone was being choked, that would be a natural reaction to look at the person trying to kill you. can't wait to see more!

[SeanMcShambles]

Aside from a promising concept and artwork, my only nitpick so far on your first page is the characters 1000 mile stare. They don't seem to be looking at each other, which I think if someone was being choked, that would be a natural reaction to look at the person trying to kill you. can't wait to see more!

good point. thanks!

[SeanMcShambles]

I'm in the process of redesigning her, as I didn't want her looking too "fluffy"... quick concept sketch of how I kinda want her to look. Clothes will still not be set and she'll probably change every comic.
.

looking to have the intro pages done this weekend, time permitting.

[Kozispoon]

I like the redesign you have with this fighter, but I rather miss the nice blacks you had in the mask/vest that broke up the overall design. Maybe it'll look different once she's in color, but as it stands, it all kinda blends together considering its all white.

[SeanMcShambles]

I agree. I think that If I do any comics with her in b&w, i'll probably have to put more blacks on her clothing (as she'll change outfits occassionally anyway).

Anyways - more progress! Totally got distracted by a comic con this weekend - though it was my first time being at one so it was nice to see the culture and meet some people who're working in the industry or on comics! super inspirational!

I'm having a lot of fun with the process of learning how to tell a visual story, but need to fight the urge to keep changing things and updating every time I learn something new!

More to come shortly!

[Heathen]

Digging the revamped design, she looked pretty generic before.  I see the effect in the last panel, but I think it might help communicate her powers better if you added a more noticeable visual effect, and a sound effect to her touch.  When a character has a specific power like that, it's a great opportunity to invent a trademark special effect for it.

[SeanMcShambles]

I've been thinking about it... but I can't seem to come up with a sound effect that I like. I might just leave it for now and let it develop organically once inspiration hits. If I do have a sound effect for her power, I'd want it to be as memorable as Nightcrawler's "Bamf!" or Wolverine's "Snikt!".

Kneeways, I'm still trying to figure out a good process with the tools I have available, so development is a little slow until I've found my voice, as I'm doing a lot of experimenting (and learning)...

in the meantime... more sketches and such.

[Heathen]

Great progress, and good dialogue balloons. 

[Kuro]

You seem pretty capable artistically, but I dunno. Something about these pages is coming off as stilted & flat to me.

Firstly, real quick, it's a little weird that the balloons' cursors just kind of point in the general vicinity of the person & not their mouths. Like that third panel (which feels too tight compositionally &/or too big on the page if all you're trying to show is the choke), it's pointing at her knuckles/sternum. Just comes off as strange & makes things slightly less clear, especially in a panel where you're in so tight & cropping faces out.

But I dunno the whole staging of this situation feels strange. Like I saw the roughs & thought she was up against a wall getting attacked. But now it looks like this guy catches her & is just deadlifting her in a chokehold in the middle of this alley? Like her knees are then at face level, she can just bash him in the face with her knee cap or reel up for a boot. Why a singlehanded chokehold? He's angry at her? Then why not speed up the process with two hands? Beyond all that, it just seems like an awkward approach if he's concerned with getting his wallet back. Why does he need to lift her? Why isn't he just going for the wallet? So she's transforming (by apparently touching something but it's not clear what)  & at the same time reeling in to do this Lei Wulong/Jackie Chan flip off his rib cage. That's fine. But she's grabbing the pony tail from behind his head, springboarding, & yet still able to rip the pony tail off all in one motion, throwing him backwards? Those physics don't feel like they line up. Or if they do, that guy's neck snaps at the same time. Or she pulls straight up & the guy's doubled over with his head down, not flung back like in that other panel. Like at the moment, the hair's in her right hand but his reeling in that same direction instead of reacting from the force of the pull. It doesn't make sense to me. Am I missing something?