Hunter (oh no, oh no)

Hunter (oh no, oh no)

Hunter (oh no, oh no)
« on: Feb 06, 2015, 02:19 PM »
What do what do

I just tried to submit my first character, and I think it might have missed the last page of his intro comic. I'm gonna submit the whole thing here, hopefully that will help? D:
I really hope these look okay. Comics aren't something that I normally do, so it's a bit nervewracking putting these up on a site where everyone does this so well-- if anyone has advice for me to work into future stuff, I'd really appreciate it!


Ref sheet

The fullbody by itself:


And then here's the comic, with the fourth page actually attached >.<







« Last Edit: Feb 07, 2015, 04:01 PM by Stormcrow »

Re: Hunter (oh no, oh no)
« Reply #1 on: Feb 06, 2015, 02:27 PM »
ahh its ok, I can just decline it and you can re-upload, no big deal. It was good that you posted here so you can get some feedback from the community too.

First things first, you have a bad case of cardboard box city. I made a thread about learning to love backgrounds here: http://entervoid.com/index.php?topic=12151.0

Don't be nervous haha, you'll get some good feedback here and you can resubmit when you're ready.

Re: Hunter (oh no, oh no)
« Reply #2 on: Feb 06, 2015, 02:46 PM »
Oh yes, oh yes!


and welcome aboard the crazy train!

And don't be too intimidated-you're coming into a community of folks who've been doing this a while (dig up my incubator post when I joined. It'll give ya nightmares!), so the fact you're tromping in with a completed design sheet and some slick comic pages is pretty gangsta!

Your full body character ref seems a little off to me. I don't know if its the proportions or what, but I feel like you're being pulled between a realistic style and/or  a chibi or cartoon style and couldn't quite decide. Who knows, I may be the only one who see's it. I really like your cover page though. It definitely calls attention and looks pretty striking. Your comic pages are looking really great too. Such nice crisp colors-and the concept behind Hunters Raison d'être is definitely something I haven't seen before. INTRIGUED!

I'll echo Reds comments about your buildings though. Unless he's in a super cute cardboard box city for kitties, it doesn't really fly. Cities/environments ave just as much personalities as your characters, so go wild with it! I know how tough backgrounds can be, but joining a place like this will make you learn to love 'em.

Re: Hunter (oh no, oh no)
« Reply #3 on: Feb 06, 2015, 02:55 PM »
WHOA
HI THERE I WOULD LIKE TO BATTLE YOU


Re: Hunter (oh no, oh no)
« Reply #4 on: Feb 06, 2015, 02:58 PM »
more men, that's exactly what we needed around here! :D

Re: Hunter (oh no, oh no)
« Reply #5 on: Feb 06, 2015, 03:26 PM »
Welcome to Void! This is looking great! I would love to see you give a little more love to those buildings so they're not just empty boxes. Remember that buildings aren't always square!
Kittens wearins mittens

Re: Hunter (oh no, oh no)
« Reply #6 on: Feb 06, 2015, 05:34 PM »
Oh man, thank you so much for all the feedback, guys! I had no idea how fast or slow the forums move here, so coming back to so many replies was a wonderful surprise!

I really appreciate all the thoughtful responses people gave, and I'll do my best to fix things up and give the backgrounds a bit more life before resubmitting this! Definitely agree that they're looking pretty boxy at the moment, and hopefully I can fix that!

I also see what you mean about the proportions, Spoon. Looking at the picture again, Hunter looks a little short, and something is strange with the face-- I think I put the eyes too high, maybe? If I can't figure out quite how to fix it, I'll do another fullbody of him. The cleaner lines looked a bit wierd with the more sketched look of the rest of his ref sheet, so I might try just keeping it in that same style to make things less jarring.

Thank goodness the weekend's come, with luck should have it turned around by tomorrow or the day after! Thank you so much for the help and encouragement, everyone, it's great to meet you all. and hopefully I'll be in and ready to battle soon!

(ALSO SHEN NO WTF IVE SEEN YOUR FIGHTS YOURE TOO GOOD HAVE MERCY)

Re: Hunter (oh no, oh no)
« Reply #7 on: Feb 06, 2015, 05:44 PM »
I think the problem maayyyyy be that it kinda seems like his face is too big? like theres not much room for forehead and skull? idk though I'd have to redline it to see what im talking about but sounds like you have an idea already. Diggin' the black and gold colour theme, but I echo the sentiment that your buildings need a bit more happening.

(ALSO SHEN NO WTF IVE SEEN YOUR FIGHTS YOURE TOO GOOD HAVE MERCY)

ARE YOU SURE YOU MEAN ME? *INTENSE BLUSHING*


Re: Hunter (oh no, oh no)
« Reply #8 on: Feb 06, 2015, 05:52 PM »
I want more sexy bird boy.

Re: Hunter (oh no, oh no)
« Reply #9 on: Feb 06, 2015, 07:24 PM »
Yeah, Shen, I think you're right. Something funky is definitely going on with his facial proportions; it's gonna take some playing with after I finish up the buildings.
AND YES I'M SURE I MEANT YOU I SAW YOUR GHOST CHICK WHILE SNOOPING THROUGH A BUNCH OF BATTLES TO SEE HOW THINGS WORK

Thanks so much Julz! Hopefully there'll be more soon!

Re: Hunter (oh no, oh no)
« Reply #10 on: Feb 06, 2015, 08:52 PM »
Working on a new neutral-pose image for Hunter to go on the ref sheet, hopefully the proportions are looking a bit more normal this time!

« Last Edit: Feb 06, 2015, 10:15 PM by Stormcrow »

Re: Hunter (oh no, oh no)
« Reply #11 on: Feb 06, 2015, 10:05 PM »
thats good Thats better
imma fight you. thats gon' happen.


Re: Hunter (oh no, oh no)
« Reply #12 on: Feb 06, 2015, 10:16 PM »
Oh god Shen you're gonna stomp me XD

Re: Hunter (oh no, oh no)
« Reply #13 on: Feb 06, 2015, 10:55 PM »
Much better! Looks more natural.
Kittens wearins mittens

Re: Hunter (oh no, oh no)
« Reply #14 on: Feb 07, 2015, 11:17 AM »
I'd like to see less toned shadows and more blacks

everything is way too clean and smooth and underdeveloped(especially the aforementioned backgrounds)...put in some line variation(thickness AND quality)...put in some texture...less perfect angles and lines in all of the tones and shadows

try using white fields with heavy black borders for the gutters

don't change the method of delivery for the narrative text.....either in the panel without a box or in a seperate panel....or even in a box in the panel...it disrupts the flow for the reader...this also goes for the 'sigh' sound effect...you have the character speaking in text bubbles and then change the flow for no reason with the 'sigh' and then jump back into text bubbles again...disrupts the flow for no reason


less digital software and more you

« Last Edit: Feb 07, 2015, 11:24 AM by Wei Ingnan »
-draw like you love it.... not like your mom told you to do it-

Re: Hunter (oh no, oh no)
« Reply #15 on: Feb 07, 2015, 12:51 PM »
Thank you very much for the feedback, Wei! I appreciate you taking the time to look!

I see what you mean for different methods of delivery for text. Do you think that simple self-contained text bubbles (without the little tail) for the non-spoken text would be alright, and wouldn't be too jarring in places like page 2?

I'm really sorry, but I'm still not too well-versed in all the vocab that goes along with comicking-- what do you mean, with regards to the white fields/black border gutters?

I can definitely work on more detailing and texturing in my backgrounds, and line variation too (I've definitely not been giving this enough attention since I started moving towards a thinner line size, haha). It's gonna be scary when I start getting to long battles!

Out of curiosity, would hatching and/or pure black shadows be mandatory for acceptance, or is that  more of a stylistic suggestion? I've used both in my work before, usually when I was drawing in pen traditionally, and had shifted away from them for digital stuff because I didn't like the way they looked when I was working with color. I can certainly up the contrast of the shadows (especially with Hunter, who I know is already a bit of a plain since 90% of his design is various shades of dark gray), but unless it's non-optional I'm hesitant to add those heavier shading methods.

Re: Hunter (oh no, oh no)
« Reply #16 on: Feb 07, 2015, 01:13 PM »
You could definitely get in with what you have! Wei is just making a style suggestion that could help you. I personally feel what you have works for your inking style. A little black wouldn't hurt here and there for more contrast, perhaps for the very darkest areas, but different coloring styles work for different inking styles.

For instance, you wouldn't color these artists that use a heavy use of black




the same as you would ones that don't.




So it's really up to you what you want to work with.
Kittens wearins mittens

Re: Hunter (oh no, oh no)
« Reply #17 on: Feb 07, 2015, 01:35 PM »
Oh, alright! That definitely makes it clearer. I could always try to work in a little bit of crosshatching in the darkest areas-- of all the different levels of shading I've messed with in the past, that felt most natural since it's what I do when I'm working in pen anyways.  I think the main reason I gave it up when I was working digitally was that it started feeling messier in comparison to the clean lines I was trying to do.

It might work really well depending on how I end up doing battle pages, too! It sounds like I'm gonna be doing illustration-detailed pages at this rate, so I might have to just cut the color and do ink-only, and if that's the case I'll definitely be hatching for shade. Damn the school year, I should have signed up over the summer XD

Thank you so much for clarifying, and for the beautiful examples!

Re: Hunter (oh no, oh no)
« Reply #18 on: Feb 07, 2015, 02:47 PM »
You're welcome! Don't feel like you have to suddenly add in new stylistic things right this second. I think you're pretty much ready to submit. You can use your battles as a chance to try new and cool techniques! Void is a great place to learn and experiment so go wild when you get in!
Kittens wearins mittens

Re: Hunter (oh no, oh no)
« Reply #19 on: Feb 07, 2015, 03:04 PM »
1. Aweosmeeeee
2. This is what i hear when i see your arts https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Kh37maEyIMs

Re: Hunter (oh no, oh no)
« Reply #20 on: Feb 07, 2015, 03:18 PM »
Alright Angie! I guess if I keep fiddling I'm never going to get around to actually submitting, haha; people have just been so kind about giving advice that I want to make sure I do my best to address it all! I've been working on the backgrounds all morning, trying to make them a bit more interesting, but after that I'll submit everything properly and fingers crossed!

Fern, you're too kind! I'm glad this stuff makes you think of such cool music, that's really flattering. Now I'll just have to draw Hunter as the magical freakin' boy he basically is and ruin all your expectations uh, I'll have to keep trying to measure up!

Re: Hunter (oh no, oh no)
« Reply #21 on: Feb 07, 2015, 03:58 PM »
Alright, Hunter's been submitted!

Thanks so much everyone, getting the feedback here has been amazing, and while I've got a lot to learn and a long way to go I know the pages are much stronger than they were. I'll do my best to keep working hard and focusing on the suggestions I've been given once I start drawing battles!

Re: Hunter (oh no, oh no)
« Reply #22 on: Feb 07, 2015, 05:18 PM »
Wei is just making a style suggestion that could help you.

yes.

just pointing out stuff I think you should look at and consider working on

'field' of colour is just a term for an extended space of colour....as opposed to a dash or splash of colour

'gutters' is the term for the spaces on the outside border of and between the panels....having them white or a neutral colour really makes the visual inside the panels pop...while none of the examples Angie provided wholly used this method(they use transparent fields) you will notice that none of them are solid fields of black either

the normal convention for narrative speech is a text box if that is the method you choose(and yes you can place a text box over your artwork...properly placed it won't disrupt the visual.....this is somthing that needs to happen during your planning/thumbing of your comic just like speech bubbles....but my comment wasn't about doing one or the other...more about using just one throughout


...and yes...best thing for you to do is make more comics and listen to comments(decide for yourself which ones you choose to follow....better yet try most of them and actually see what works best for you)
-draw like you love it.... not like your mom told you to do it-

Re: Hunter (oh no, oh no)
« Reply #23 on: Feb 07, 2015, 07:54 PM »
Oh, alright! So having a gutter of white on the panels would be like giving them almost a small secondary border of white, since the black border might not be readily apparent on a page with darker colors? That makes sense, I'll definitely try that!

I did go in and put boxes behind the text on page two, and you were totally right, it made the text stand out much better. I also tried to put some more detail and light texture in the backgrounds, and the end result definitely seemed better than it was before.

Thank you so much, I hope I can keep putting your advice to good use in the future! It's been very kind of you and all the forumgoers in here to take the time to help me!

Re: Hunter (oh no, oh no)
« Reply #24 on: Feb 07, 2015, 08:59 PM »
well I already saw that you put in up for approval again...so as hard as I know it will be to do so you will just have to wait for us to vote on it....will not take too long but might seem a little like forever
-draw like you love it.... not like your mom told you to do it-

 

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