[B!rdMan]

Hey guys, I've uploaded this image, as I want critique on this before I add close-ups, detail thumbnails etc. I'm really looking to improve in pretty much every area I can whilst here, line work, storytelling, colouring, anatomy, action shots, everything. Any and all constructive criticism is needed so please help me improve!

Anyway, here is my character..



Vinny King
6ft 3inches
25

Vinny King is an professional football/soccer player who has made it to the top of the game. He has prevailed in multiple European teams and is regarded as 'one of the best'. After winning a 12th title in his latest season, he disappeared, captured by a criminal outfit, and taken to a far away unknown location. Their interests are compromised should he continue to play, although he isn't aware of how or why.

He soon discovers ancient artefacts that grant him control over a phenomenal force. A force contained within a spherical artefact. Alongside the ball are ancient boots. The footwear is in some way linked to the ball, and they enable him to harness its power, and only him.

Without the boots, the ball feels like a ball of marble, and weighs as much. With the boots, it 'activates', seeming much lighter than it is, and able to bounce like a standard football. With his new tools, Vinny is out for revenge, he needs to find those responsible for his disappearance, and uncover the mysteries surrounding the artefacts.

EDIT
Just wanted to add a little about the occurring themes and design of my character.

I am a huge fan of goofy contexts, hence the somewhat unruly background/mish-mash of over-the-top themes. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles being a prime example of one of my major influences. I even regard Hellboy as a bit tongue in cheek, but I really enjoy it. This guy has been shot in the head, but then resurrected, and also has access to ancient/alien artefacts that amplify his soccer skills to form a crazy combat style. It's something I want to roll with, as my influences and inspiration for wanting to get into the creation of comics, comes from the crazy super hero stories and the awesome action. I doubt my comics will be particularly brooding, all that meaningful or with a deep underlying message. At least for now, I just want to enjoy creating and portraying entertainment in an immature form of people punching each other and stopping people from destroying the world.

[B!rdMan]

After looking back at the image of my character, I already hate his face, it seems so bland and seriously lacks personality, so back to that I go. After planning my intro pages, I have changed a few things about him visually and backstory-wise. I know you guys must hate half-assed stuff and unfinished work, but this is purely a stage I wish to share and also get critiqued. Panel layouts, flow of narrative, points of view, all these things could be spotted by someone a lot more talented than I, before I go and spend crazy amounts of time trying to do final passes on each panel. Then I can submit them, and y'all can critique the actual drawing.

[Fed]

mmm, i like.. then again, everything football ("soccer") always gets my approval

Short feedback; I do miss a (club) jersey; even as retired he should have some more marks to make him stand out as a footballer; Put a number on his shorts and give him the official Void City FC* shirt or just put a giant number on his back aswell ; as for the character himself, I do like his design, another "run-of-the-mill" footballer, his blandness and lack of personality is really (IMHO) a good thing in this case (..ever seen a footballer give a post-match interview? So bland and boring it makes politics sound interesting)

As for the comic, it's hard to make out being so half-finished, but from what I can make out, it looks good for pacing, and nice change of camera-angles; Really looking forward to see this design submitted (if only to know I am not the only fotball-interested person around these parts)

* there is no such thing as "Void City FC", so you'll have to design the jersey yourself

[Wei Ingnan]

normally I am not one for commenting on character ideas or designs....because its possible to make good comics with weak concepts and bad comics with great designs...its more about what you want to do and what you are excited about.......but personally I think this concept is all over the place(trying to be too many things)......shallow....and more than a little ridiculous.

as for your thumbnails(which are next to impossible to read or see properly) the panels are too tight and you are drawing too small........it looks like you are either drawing in prepared panels or cropping the images into them ....and the text is taking up too much space.....drawing bigger and then resizing the page on your computer will help

panels should be designed together as a whole....image, text and layout need to flow together....not one being slapped in to another and restricted or constrained by its dimensions