[Netherworld]

So.. yeah, be gentle with me, please. This is my first time ever doing something like this, so both critique and suggestions alike are welcomed!

Anyway, without further ado;



this is just the first, pretty rough design. As I said, any kind of commentary is appreciated.

[Mister Kent]

That's a really cool design--nice choice of color and shading. Could be a really good start for an intro page. On the final design sheet, make sure to clearly show her body, as well as any detailed parts. It's best to show her standing straight for that, but this is a nice start to show us you have style!

Is her weapon a short sword or a machete? It might help to show the weapon in detail on the design sheet.

Looking forward to intro pages!

[Angie]

Looks great thus far! As Kent said, make sure she's in a stationary pose for the design sheet.

[A Bad Idea]

Looks good so far. Solid anatomy and a nice, dynamic pose. I would say that your shades are leaning too far on the side of 'black', and that maybe different hues and value shifts would help differentiate your shapes. She looks a little plain, but that might actually work to your advantage.

Let's see some more!

[Crimson Kumiho]

Not bad. Pretty basic but it doesn't matter how dull a character looks (not saying she's dull looking) if they've got character! For example, single scar across the eye is pretty generic so the story behind it would make the difference. Can't wait to see some comics!

[Fed]

What he said.. pretty basic; there's nothing wrong with your skills ('cause dude, this looks great!), but haven't we seen the "sword-wielding-bad-girl-with-a-jacket-and-weightlifting-gloves" oh-so-many times before?* I'd really wish for a makeover a more "personalised" style, something that makes her stand out from the crowd in way of fashion.. just my two cents


* ... says the guy who doesn't draw anything BUT stereotypes..

[Netherworld]

Oh, wow. Awesome damn! Thanks for the feedback.^^ I really wasn't expecting this much.

@a bad idea
I'll try to work on the shading, but as stated, it's a rough work meant only to give a feel to the character. It's also an old sketch/a portrayal of her old look. So basically it's what you'll see in the intro comic pages (since they're back story) but not on the design page.

Speaking of the comic sheets;


here's what I've done so far... feel free to comment and throw in your two cents. I always welcome secondary opinions.^^

[A Bad Idea]

Dayum. You've got some nice shots and solid inkwork, but holy balls that panel layout is a nightmare. It's a good thing you haven't drawn on the whole page yet, because that bottom half needs to go. With good enough shots, you can convey what is happening with as few panels as possible, so that clusterfuck of panels in the bottom is only going to complicate things both for yourself and the reader. Also, try to avoid unnecessarily "fancy" panels like your circular panel and your curved panel borders; keeping things simple enhances readability, which is the most important thing. It would be a shame to cramp your artwork into those tiny panels, because your wide shot looks fantastic. Don't try too hard to block out a sequence of events, because a choice few panels can tell the story for you. Let the art do the talking!

[Netherworld]

Thanks for the input! ^^

Those frames were to be removed anyway, I just hadn't gotten around to it. Anyhow, here's something that's much closer to the finished page 1.

[Mister Kent]

I like how you changed up the layout for the bottom of the page. Thinking about it cinematically, the small boxes give me the feeling of a rapid succession of shots, really suspenseful and a bit uneasy, and then WOOSH opening up and slowing down at the end.

In the further pages, I'd like to see larger panels in general, but I think leaving the smaller ones here works as an artistic choice.

[Netherworld]

Thanks.^^

Anyway, page one is mostly finished now.



Now I'll be off working some more on the design sheet... further pages will be coming later.

As always, any and all comments are appreciated.^^

[A Bad Idea]

Oh wow, that was fast. You actually went and fixed the things I was ABOUT to critique on before you posted that. Bravo!

[Netherworld]

*fans self* That's me

Out of interest, what were you about to critique?

Also, here's the starting stages of Mina in a standing pose for the design sheet.

[Netherworld]

As promised, further work on the design sheet.



what do you guys think?

[William_Duel]

I find the clothes she's wearing to be too simple but it works.  There are some anatomy issues on the sheet.  Her right arm is too long.  If she were to straighten her arms out, she might be able to reach her knees without trying.  As far as clothing wrinkles go, fewer is better.  You've got the right idea that wrinkles are emphasized at the joints but you've got too many going on.  It looks like she's sucking those jeans into the vortex that is her crotch.  The comics are fine.

[Netherworld]

So I did some more work now that I caught a break....



don't know how much I improved it, but here it is anyway...

[Angie]

Looks good! You may want to consider giving your coloring one overall style. Right now there's two different styles present on the design sheet. Soft shading for the figure and hatching for the clothes. You don't have to change the design sheet, it's just something to keep in mind for the future.

[Netherworld]

thanks for the feedback!^^ Yeah, that was just a design sheet thing. I thought it gave a certain contrast to her figure. oh, well.

anyway, page 2 sketches coming up. I've two versions, not sure which one to work with further, so I'd appreciate any advice.

[Mister Kent]

I like that you're using different angles, and even going for foreshortening! She seems like a delightful young lady thus far Keep it up!