[The Bent One]

I did this for the Sketchbook Project 2011, but I figured, why not make it practice for when I finally am ready to make a character.

Please critique, I'm ready to learn.

[Fred]

As far as readablility goes, its not too bad for a first attempt and the panels are fun, altough I'm not too hot on the huge marker stoked gutters, they're messy and take too much space compared to the content of the page and keep distracting me. If they were white, at least...
Other than that, work on making clean stuff, anatomy and general stuff into your comic (also, gun anatomy, may I suggest you http://phitus.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d274olq great for understanding the basics of guns, once you understand how they work, its easier to make them, in adition to some refference)

[Nex in a Box]

You have made the more important panels of the story the smallest ones. I recommend you reverse this sizing and make more detail and emphasis on the last few panels with more emotion in them. The huge thick borders also distract from the comic and tone down the silhouette in the last panel. Anatomy is really good so far but the way the characters are balanced and the posture needs to be rethought. Like in the panel with the gun. These need to be rebalanced and rethought. More importantly there is something off with the way he is holding the gun in the bottom left panel. It's too relaxed. A gun does not sit in the hand like a banana, but more like a sword, where the center balance point is above the fist.

[The Bent One]

LeFred: A few things I should point out. This was done for a sketchbook project, bot specificly as a serious attempt to so sequentials, so I was working on a very small space with little room for detail. I put almost no thought into layout, word flow, or any sort of a clean product. This image is actually bigger than the original page.

I'm fully aware that using a brush tip marker for gutters is a NO. And yeah, they're messy cause I did them in a small moleskien sketchbook. If I'm correct, most comic book illustrators and cartoonists work on sheets of bristol at 14" x 17".

I guess next time I'll do a serious practice piece.

Thanks for the gun link, though. That should help a lot!

[The Bent One]

You have made the more important panels of the story the smallest ones. I recommend you reverse this sizing and make more detail and emphasis on the last few panels with more emotion in them. The huge thick borders also distract from the comic and tone down the silhouette in the last panel. Anatomy is really good so far but the way the characters are balanced and the posture needs to be rethought. Like in the panel with the gun. These need to be rebalanced and rethought. More importantly there is something off with the way he is holding the gun in the bottom left panel. It's too relaxed. A gun does not sit in the hand like a banana, but more like a sword, where the center balance point is above the fist.

When I drew this, I did the panels first and then filled in the story second. Obviously not the right thing to to. Ideally, this should be a spread, with the bottom panels taking up the whole lower half of the two pages.

Detail is something I have no problem using more of (you know my artwork)

[Nex in a Box]

when i do detail i just create a simple pattern using components that would seem prevalent to the space and just repeat it over and over again. This fills up space, makes it quick and easy to do, and makes sense without getting too out of control. when all else fails have a cup of coffee.

[The Bent One]

Yeah, your style is so different from mine it's not even comparable. I'm still super influenced by BLAME! when I do full size detail work. Plus I finally broke through the color barrier.