Everyone, thank you very much for your kind comics! I'm taking everything into consideration, and I'll be doing my best to improve upon these problem areas moving forward! I was really happy to hear that there were good things as well as the story issues, and the lack of depth. (There were a few other notes and I'm also taking those into account, just those two were the most common!) I'm going to do my very best to improve upon those areas, and I really appreciate everyone's input into this! I'm really glad that people were able to enjoy the comic I created by the way! And again, Kura, thanks so much for battling me, it was a lot of fun!

Desi: Man, I honestly didn't expect it from how polished your art style is, but you communicate a surprising amount of nuance in your illustrations of people! Your ability to put them in space in relation to the world around them is still pretty nascent, though. I wouldn't know how to guide you, but backgrounds and especially orienting people in accordance with the background is definitely a major point to improve on. The story here gave rise to a really good and interesting flaw for Fawn to work with in later comics, so I'm excited to see how you deal with that! The dialogue exchanges were also really good, I especially loved page 18, with Veronica needing to shut down her own son to validate her thoughts. Don't be afraid to make your text smaller, because really, it is very very large. It could easily be readable at half the size. Kura: All of the attention to detail to these unimportant background figures is super cool, I'm not sure I have even half as much patience as I'd need to do that. Even if it's messy, it adds a ton of depth to the comic! This was a pretty neat and in-character way for Veronica to actually interact with her distant niece. Although, I felt like Marigold was kind of just written as a Veronica #2, not having a distinct voice of her own. Something feels weird about her also sharing the übercompetence that Veronica has, like she should be at least a bit closer to how her daughter acts than her second cousin. I understand that's kind of the Nightingale thing, but it puts me off as kind of overly self-indulgent, regardless if that should actually matter or not. Still a quality comic!

Desi: Still loving the cute artstyle and vibrant colours! You do a fun thing with word balloons that really adds to the effect! I would practice a bit more how you want people to look in profile, you dont seem to know what happens to their noses when they turn. I'm impressed you did this many pages but it probably was longer than needed.... kura's crit is my thoughts on the matter. If she'd made the whole thing up she should have made up something more fantastic, otherwise it cycled itself a bit. But i love this new relationship for fawn! Kura: fantastic work! You went all out of your environment and the background gags really added the the world building! All the casual murdering during a conversation about aesthetics was hilarious! If I had to nitpick I think I would have liked a little more at the end of Fawn with the fan practicing it out but this was an incredibly well constructed comic, I loved it!

Most of my thoughts can be symmetrized by previous commenters but I’ll try anyhow; @Desi So many pages in so little time. All fully colored as well, that's some dedication. I love getting the chance to learn more about Fawn and her quirky view of the world. Some of the visual details I didn’t catch during my first read was her heart eyes turning into little broken heart halves when she’s rejected by her auntie. I don’t wanna overuse the words cute but like… that’s pretty cute. Also her dad’s one liner was hilarious! Her whole family is so charming. You’re improving so fast and it’s pretty amazing. I say just keep up practicing perspective so everyone feels like they are in an actual 3D space and perhaps edit down your stories so you can focus on polishing fewer pages. @Kura This is hella solid. I wasn’t sure what area to comment on first. Having all three characters talking nonchalantly as they take out murderers did not get old for me. If anything it was funnier each time. The flow of the entire comic was good enough that I could have read more of it without feeling like it was going on too long. Also Kudos on all those people in the background, just thinking about it makes my hand hurt. If I were to say anything, maybe add a little more to the background like a tint so it’s more than just lineart. Overall, I enjoyed it alot!

Kura: This is really good. The other crits have summed up what i'm feeling; it's clean and crisp as hell, it's charming, it's paced very well - this comic is rock solid. My only crit is that, for a 2 weeker with 5 pages, I would've really liked a little color, especially considering Fawn's colorful design. Desi: When I first heard you were going for 15 pages for your first battle, I was very wary, but to see you finish not with 15 but with 20 pages, and for all of them to be colored and consistent, is a real feat. I'm really impressed! Even though the story does get stretched too thin by the end, I still enjoyed Fawn's distortion of reality. I think moving towards the future, going with a smaller page count is going to do wonders for you, especially with the work ethic you have going on right now.

Kura this was a very strong entry for you. I do slightly wish there was more on that last page, maybe even just weapon blueprints or something, but overall this has been the best i've seen from you since i joined (not too long ago). Desi! Adorable! Thank you for the cameo! (How did she get up there? Lol) I thought everything was very cute, and it gave a lot of insight into the way fawn thinks and her behavior. It was a little difficult for me to follow the story, however, but i'm still trying to puzzle out why that is. If it comes to light, i'll edit the comment for clarity. very sorry!

Kura: That was one of my favorite comics from you. It didn't have a single panel that didn't fit the flow, despite being dialogue throughout the entire comic it was never to wordy, which I feel is some sort of black magic at work. I have no actual critiques, I was left wanting more, so I can't wait for your next comic. Desi: That was adorable af. God job on your first battle, and I gotta second Pocketmouse, you are learning and growing quickly. I would suggest looking at how to work with perspective, your backgrounds tend to feel a bit flat to me. A lot of this comes from just practicing and drawing, drawing and more drawing. I am excited to see what you do next!

cute stuff from both of you! Kura: This was real funny! Having the hitmen pay off with Desi choosing Veronicas Fan was just another demonstration of your superb writing. Well-paced and enjoyable- it's great to see another comic from you! :D Desi: So adorable oh my goodness! You're learning so quickly and it's been fab to watch your comics grow so far, so I hope we see more soon. A shorter story will allow you to have a more polished finish, so practising some editing to your scripting stage early on will help you out a lot next time. Your hand lettering isn't very easy to read, so a font would be a great next step for you to take. There a loads of options and even ways to make some yourself if you still want a hand-written feel. Try to leave a third of the panel free for spacebubbles to avoid cramming. As you're drawing digitally, you can always shink your characters in the frame later to give you room to play, too. Thanks for the wicked-good comics both!

It's really impressive that you managed to do 20 colored pages on your debut fight. However, the pacing of the comic suffered due to repetitive plot points that resulted in an unsatisfying ending since in the end, we're basically right back where we started. Ending it on page 16 would have been a decent ending (but that would mean cutting out of my favorite joke of Veronica stealing Theo's line). Alternatively, since the entire story was an incorrect recollection by Fawn, I think the first half would have been improved with more a more outlandish and impossible to believe events happening. Have Fawn use her wild imagination to come up with a crazy adventure that gives a reason for Veronica to accept Fawn as family, only for reality to shatter that dream in the end. That would also make the line about illogical fallacies make more sense in context.

Woah, Kura, ah reading your comic, its so so good! I'm really biased so I don't think I can critique it much but wow, you portrayed Fawn so well, and her mother as well! Those crowds must have taken a ton of hard work to do! Those assassination attempts, made me laugh at the sheer amount of nobody acknowledging them, it was so freaking great. I reread it then saw even more of them than I saw the first time, and it was really awesome! Your angles were really amazing, and all your shots looked really nice! Everything looks so nice, and I found myself laughing throughout the entirety of reading it! Thank you very much for battling me, it was a lot of fun!

Got everything up and ready to post, so I'm super excited for this to come out! >w<///

This is going to be god damn adorable

SO EXCITED!! Good luck with your first battle Desi!

I am so fucking ready

Birds of a Feather, FIGHT FOREVER!