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Louise Ambre-Aliona vs Shizana
This comic has not been rated; viewer discretion advised.
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Comments (12)

Ish's avatar
Ish
All-Rounder
8 years ago
This battle had two amazing entries! I really really enjoyed both of them! I can't say anything that hasn't been said already, but I wanted to give a short opinion none the less! @Rhimwill: Your art is gorgeous! I have really learnt a lot from reading your comics so far, and boy, do I love how you use colors! Also poor Gray, they don't pay him enough for this XD @Radji: Your comics just keep getting better! I really like Louise, she manages to be both a terrifying monster and a kind and grateful mother and is a very interesting character overall! I agree with Kozi too, you really know how to give people a good scare with giant spider monsters! Great work, you two, and I am sorry this comment is so late to the party!
Posted on Louise Ambre-Aliona vs Shizana battle

Kozispoon's avatar
Kozispoon
All-Rounder
8 years ago
RHIMWILL- Another stellar performance, though I wonder if we may be seeing a formula coming to the fore where plot is concerned. You do seem to be a fan of the countdown to explosion device, which isn't bad, but I wonder how all these people across your comics have the same thematic means of blowin' up? XD Still, besides that, I was poring excitedly over your dynamic angles and interesting paneling. Honestly, that is totally an admirable strength in your art that I for one find inspiration to push my own work. You handled your opponents character well- even down to taking the time out to give character to the kids without them even needing to speak. I really dig that they weren't just replicas of one another. You've clearly dedicated yourself to treating your two fused bros as a single unit, which I think amusingly enough is portrayed best in the kiss sequence. To see both Shi & Zana look simultaneously surprised, befuddled, then overwhelmed with a anime caliber blush as they make out with ol' Louise totally made me snort. Hilarious! It really leaves me wondering, had either of them just not of been feeling it, would it send their bodies into something of a paralyzing conflict? Your art style gives me such a Disney Adventures magazine vibe. Remember those rags that waited at the checkout counter in supermarkets? I finish reading your battle and am totally transported back there, just enjoying a Saturday morning romp- with monster smoochin'! RADJI- It seems most folk already covered what I wanted to echo, which boild down to just spit and polish. I know you can deliver some fantastic comics when you dab in a little more TLC and the pages you favored and lingered on in THIs comic are clear. I was there in chat watching you share WIPs of that building exterior scene and your designs for the fluer de lis, which I think turned out great. I could be wrong, but if that surface is glass/chromey, perhaps a hard brush for your highlights would've been better suited than your soft brush strokes. Speaking of lingering panels, the bottom of page 12 is enough to give anyone nightmares. The next time I see a spider in my room, I might just hesitate. What is Louise comes a knockin'?? I'll admit, story wise, I felt adrift in the efforts of these two stories trying to be put together that it became something of a mire for me, but I certainly hope your next battle see's you coming at it more determined.
Posted on Louise Ambre-Aliona vs Shizana battle

Radji's avatar
Radji
All-Rounder
8 years ago
I just wanted to thanks people for such constructive criticism, and to once more congratulate Rhimwill for such a good job, i am honestly glad you won that fight. and oh my god your first complete comic? congrat ! you won a fanart !
Posted on Louise Ambre-Aliona vs Shizana battle

Rhimwill's avatar
Rhimwill
All-Rounder
8 years ago
Thank you so much everybody for the encouragement and the crits! :D This is the first fully finished comic I've made since graduating from school (not to mention the longest one I've made ever), so it really means a lot that people like it T^T A couple people suggested going back in and doing shading, which has always been an intimidating part of the process for me. I think I'll do it, though, since I do want to use this as a portfolio piece and it needs that little bit more polish. Also, Julz,
Julz: ...I'm willing to let them slide because i want to bang your character.
This is, like, the nicest thing someone's said to me about any of my characters XD glad to see that Shizana has a fan.
Posted on Louise Ambre-Aliona vs Shizana battle

Animeshen's avatar
Animeshen
All-Rounder
8 years ago
So many smoochies~ <3 Rhimwell how are you so good like I got nothin to critique I just loved every panel of this! The pacing and colours and gesture and expression and design, man you make us all look bad XD radji, I appreciate that you tried to be a bit different with the route of this one compared to your other Kouise comics, and I think its neat you got her involved in Shizana's plot! I agree with pyras that the backgrounds are a little scarce, though, for the time you had. Love your panel compositions though!
Posted on Louise Ambre-Aliona vs Shizana battle

PyrasTerran's avatar
PyrasTerran
Writer
8 years ago
Rhimwill: this comic is so good it should be illegal, if you can bring this level for your next battle sooner take the extra time to add shades and hilights to your pages to really make them come even more alive Radji: you finished this comic 4 days in advance but there was more you could have done; the backgrounds are kinda bare, the line work could use more polish, all in all it doesn't feel like as much effort to perfect was put into this one. Polish is kind of the one thing you need most work on with your comics in general IMO, practice smoothing your lineart, double checking your colors so they aren't bleeding out of your lines, etc.
Posted on Louise Ambre-Aliona vs Shizana battle

petarvee's avatar
petarvee
All-Rounder
8 years ago
Awesome jobs! @Rhimwill You nailed it! You move the camera around just enough to keep it dynamic, and your perspective-chops are totally up to the task! Plus everything feels like it exists in real space and everyone moves with just enough weight to really work. And your plot/pacing wrapped the whole thing up together with a little bow. Bonus points for working in the same "Lets just make it pinkish purple" school of coloring I subscribe to. And now for the crit: Honestly, the bones and muscles of a great comic are all there, and you oughta be proud of that. But what would take it from Really Good to Great is just that little extra 15%. Some light shadows, a few highlights on polished surfaces, a little bit of texture here and there. Little things. And sure, it could just be a time-constraint thing, but if not, you oughta totally look into it. Hell, you could even add it after-the-fact and have some stunning portfolio-quality pages on your hands. @Rad Hot damn! I approve. You've got some ambitious shots on your hands and you showed a lot of moxie stepping up your game like this! I'm actually gonna give you the exact opposite advice I gave Rhim: Use less polish. When you just use wiggly-ish lines and solid colors, everything stands out a bit more. Especially when you put saturated-characters on a desaturated-background. But when you use very feathery, airy, brushes for shadow and highlight, it comes off as "non-committal". Like you knew approximately where they went, but didn't wanna put down hard-and-fast solid rendering. If you still wanna add some spice, look at how someone like Dave Kellett handles backgrounds and uses clever mark-making to make things FEEL light/dark/shiny/rough/etc. But overall 👌👌👌👌
Posted on Louise Ambre-Aliona vs Shizana battle

Radji's avatar
Radji
All-Rounder
8 years ago
Julz: Radji: good work like always, but this one felt a little weaker than usual for some reason?
please forgive this miserable worm that i am. Job hunting nearly killed this comic. I vow to outdo myself on the newt Louise comic as repentance.
Posted on Louise Ambre-Aliona vs Shizana battle

Julz's avatar
Julz
All-Rounder
8 years ago
Holy carps you guys!!!! Rhim: pg 15 panel 4 really hit the spot for me. Thanks for delivering on my unknown fetish. Your pacing, gags, and story are intensely well done!! Only advice i can give is... ionno explosion countdowns are so overdone XD lots of cliche's but I'm willing to let them slide because i want to bang your character. Radji: good work like always, but this one felt a little weaker than usual for some reason? Maybe It's just being eclipsed by your opponent, or your massively well done collab with skully. Ionno, just not that into this one. I'm not learning anything new about your characters. the fun faces they make are refreshing but its so flat. GIVE ME MORE
Posted on Louise Ambre-Aliona vs Shizana battle

zee's avatar
zee
All-Rounder
8 years ago
First off, I just want to say that you both did an awesome job. The interaction between your characters was very entertaining! Also, in both comics Louise's daughters are just precious. Rhimwill - Yet again your pacing is enviable, every bit of this comic was pure fun from start to finish. Getting to learn more about ONE is really something I'm looking forward to with each comic you make. Your backgrounds were also very pleasant this time around and I love the color palettes you used for them. And of course I thoroughly enjoyed the inclusion of Grey in this, it really made me smile! Alien bros! Radji - I liked the action sequences in this one, very cool! Also, the expressions on all characters were super cute and fitting. I love that Louise can go from bad ass monster to caring mom in an instant, she's scary in the best of ways!
Posted on Louise Ambre-Aliona vs Shizana battle

Corn Of The Breads's avatar
Corn Of The Breads
All-Rounder
8 years ago
both comics were very well made and funny though one has a larger plot in general but both were very cute and funny.
Posted on Louise Ambre-Aliona vs Shizana battle

ScaryWaves's avatar
ScaryWaves
All-Rounder
8 years ago
Oooooh man, that's a lot of time. Looking forward to seeing some AWESOME ARACHNID ACTION
Posted on Louise Ambre-Aliona vs Shizana battle