Some really cool stuff here, guys. Just a few thoughts on things that really stood out to me:
Choleric: Awesome art, as always, although I'm not sure what was happening until it got to the bong rip, and maybe that was the point. Either way, good stuff.
Syraxis: Dude, not to disparage your digital stuff or your colors, but I think your process is taking a lot away from your art, because these pencil drawings are awesome. I'd love to see how you handle a traditional coloring medium, or even just black and white. These monster designs are great, and your technique is on point (minus that one girl's bizarre pose, I think she needs a back brace). Good stuff, dude, just something to consider.
Gregly: This is easily some of your best work. Good panel layouts, well thought-out camera angles, consistent character models and quality throughout, a very clear and readable narrative, excellent line hatching, and impressive backgrounds. Those buildings look wonderful, and your interiors are especially strong here. This is some level-up stuff.
great job to everybody that participated. Lets keep up the good work for the next month of support group and make some progress on our very important projects!
cool stuff here!
choleric: sweet abstract pages and story, not really sure how to critique. nice bong ripp!
mortoon: i agree with what was said about the colors changing suddenly between the pages... also, some poses could be pushed more- for example in the middle of page three where he swings his sword at her and they clash it could be pushed so there could be more impact.
syraxis: your pencils are really good, especially the cool monsters on the first page, i just want to know what the story is!
sabs: good looking page, and i know it looks even better now. keep it up! I really like the gun staff weapon that protagonist has too.
neens: really cute stuff, it makes me want to see more! i like that you showed your work too, it was good to see the process. nice colors as well.
shen: cool concept art, and nice looking pages! i was surprised by the ipad thing lily has though. are these the first two pages or a scene from further in?
radji: good motion and pretty funny, but i agree backgrounds should have been added. i'm not sure who all the characters are, but they're diverse and we get a feel for each of their personalities in just this brief comic, so nice job!
wutata: good beginning of a story, but it's a little too 'on the surface'... on the first page it sound like she uses some power when she hits the sandbag, and then its just broken. maybe some sentences about the noise, the recoil of the bag, maybe it comes off and hits the wall, etc... it just seems like there should be more info about the damage she did, if that makes sense. also, this might just be because i'm a dude, but 'bra and panties' just takes me right out of the scene... just 'underwear' would work for that i think.
mint: these look cool and there's good detail. you filled the space well! i want to know more about this project...
dansome: interesting scene, i cant really tell if there's a location change between page 3 and 4 though. it sounds like keeton is suspicious of drae, but then just drops it for no reason. like, right after he was trying to sneak away? i think some establishing or longer distance shots could have helped us get a better feel for the space they're in.
keep it up everyone!
WELL DONE DUDES. Some really interesting pieces here. How about some nitpicks:
Choleric: Really coool insight into your mind. Love the use of coloured paper nd when u thread the blues in it really comes alive. ONE THING THO u had really nice blue skyspace perfect for writing to go over but u put ur title over some drawing why??? You can always expand your skyspce if the writing looked crowded. ;) no need to cover your lovely trees.
Mort: Nice! Not sure about when u mix very graphical style with textural shading and stuff like the fur? More graphical representations of these things might be less jarring. Your light sources seem a little all over the place, so maybe some more refinement here will help.
syrax: some really nice ideas presented relatively clearly. You have some balance/anatomy issues with your figures which would do with ironing out, but really great job on those bugs!
sab: Lightsources in the sunny day can be super dramatic ;) would be cool to see more detail in the important bits like. i think uve sweated the small stuff like the rocks a lot but the dinos look really plain? would have loved to see some texture/patterns to them thats all :)
neens: nice layouts and really cute style! Nothing really to crit :D
shen:ur figures/colours look great! Your backgrounds really need some love- better observation and maybe a more full on painterly thing if that's what you're going for. :)
rad: pretty cool comic, just needed more backgrounds and context really.
wu: Be careful of typos and proof read thoroughly! lovely soft illustrations, but make sure the more solid parts of them dont seep into the text. Don't be afraid of leaving space.
mint: lovely! Really great effort went into these and they looks sweet as heck! Maybe clean up the levels for clairity next time?
dansome: nice story! more contrast would force your compositions and make the whole piece way stronger for next time :)
Gregly: yessss i love your stories!!!! <3 in some places ur hatching was a bit crazy nuts but by the end you seem to be getting a better handle on it, so keep practising and make more more more! :D
mortooncian:
If you do do more Support Group, I wanna see whatever the heck Greece [ITS GREECE ISNT IT] is actually smuggling.
Actually its exactly what it says on the ticket- Bennigan, the captain of the Werewolf Pirates. But Greece IS in this comic (hes FROM this comic), but not on the werewolf ship. Ill try to keep working on this even if I dont do the next support group.
Everyone did so great! These were so fun to read, its so great to see what everyone is working on! I'll try to do a proper critique soon, I dont have the energy now lol but HOORAY for everyone!
YEY LETS DO THIS. I haven't read any of the comments below so OOPS sorry if Im repeating:
COOLERIC: You always have super solid stuff and this is honestly no exception. You are so fucking ace with inkwashes and inks that I don't think I can comment on anything (thats a lie, the page with the children, first panel, a child has their facial feature off centre. I know its to avoid it coming into contact with the panel border but it looks a tad weird.)
IDK if the font on page 1 and 2 are staying, but in page 1's case, I'd get a different colour for it because it blends in too much with the art. I'd go with something hand-lettered. I'd do away with your name on page 2 entirely lol. I can SORTA guess what's going without dialogue but I also figure this story needs a bit of an explanation so I'm not faulting you too much on it. Overall excellent work, excited for round 2!
M-BURP-MORTY: You have this great grasp of colour theory but you fumbled with it on this. I know its a desert and sand reflects light all over the place, but its TOO light, and I had to squint a bit to differentiate details and objects. The colour change from page 2 to 3 is also a bit too sudden, and in page 4 the gradient to white is also sudden. What I'd recommend you focus on is a better grasp on how to use colour to convey emotion, because the colour palettes have been all over this place which is a shame bc I was getting super invested in this story. I haven't read your webcomic but this snippet seemed excellent and the facial expressions and dialogue are super good (words as weapons? Literally? You pulled it off AMAZINGLY). I think if you pay extra attention to how to properly use colour, this comic would be super ace and amazing.
SRSAXIS: Can I beg of you to just stick to traditionals forever? That pencilwork is beautiful, and if you just correct the contrast and clean it up in photoshop, you have some super SUPER nice stuff *u* Those monster designs are on point and i can see them moving believably. My favourite is the one that looks like a mantis dino theropod and its beautiful; i want it. The humans also look interesting and Im curious to see how the abyssals and humans tie in!
SABOO: U foolish wench how could u.
Noot Noot: Everything is so adorable wtf. Im particularly in love with the treehouse, IDK if it's intentional but it reminds me of Winnie the Pooh houses and definitely gives that feeling of whimsy and makes the house look like it has plenty of character of its own! Peapod's design is perfect as are the little critters that follow them. I would definitely love to see little 5-10 minute snippets of their daily life. Eager to see more!
St SIN: The two pencils you posted at the end are some of the best pages I've ever seen you draw. They seem neater and not rushed at all. The main crew are diverse and interesting characters, and they look like they can all offer their own arcs and zany stories to this. I eagerly awat the luchador pirates.
RADji: Backgrouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunds. Characters dont exist in a white void. Give them more to interact with other than the table and cashier. This seems to be a story for a sitcom/slice of life, and the characters and dialogue reflect that, so yeah my main gripe is the lack of background.
Wutiddies: You mentioned that you hadn't worked much on your writing so I won't crit that. I think you should work on how to place things on the page because it can really affect the mood and pacing. I'm not a huge fan of the page numbers being that big and on the side, I think you should stick them at the bottom. Your art on this, however, is some of the best I've ever seen from you. My only two gripes are the amount of glow around the person (tone it down just a little) and the shirt on the ground doesn't quite fit well with the perspective.
I think for next group you have time for, work on how to place both picture and text on the page in a way that looks pleasing to the viewer. My suggestion would be to have a 'no-go-zone' around the edges of the page. InDesign is a great program when you reach that stage of solidifying your pages and if you need pointers I can help you out.
Mintea: I love these bgs but be careful on page 2 bc that building is leaning slightly left. But the setting is super quaint, like a calm before the storm~ SHOW ME MORE.
DAMNSON: IM INTRIGUED. PLAGUE MASKS AND MURDER MYSTERIES. The angles used a bit over the top, I think a panel dedicated to the body and it's state so we can see the consequences and get a sense of urgency of the situation. But yeah, so far so good (also make yoru pages smaller when you submit so I dont have to scroll sideways lol)
GRAWGLY: Holy shit that hatching. I think the first few pages suffer from blur issues or poor scanning, but the later ones are really high quality, though could benefit from a BIT more cleaning. I wouldn't colour this comic, maybe only add a bit of grayscale shading because honestly that hatching is ON POINT. I'm engaged immediately, this is so far one of my faves from this session.
First off, I want to thank everyone who participated alongside me, and even if you didn't do the full amount, what's important is that you made that first step!!
Choleric- GUHHH PLEASE MAKE MORE!! The painterly look with the greyscale and brown tones is gorgeous, and I ended up staring at the establishing shot on the first page for a solid few minutes to take in just how professional it looks.
Syraxis- YVOOOOONNE
I know you let time get the best of you, but I wanna see more-a those abyssals!!! Also thumbnails for pages, even if they'll be scrapped later!
Sabulive- I don't even care it doesn't meet the minimum page count, that first page is gorgeous. If you sign up for the next support group I definitely wanna see more, but what matters is you got at least a page done, and the reason I'm pushing you for more is because it looks SO GOOD! (Also, Helen of Troy, yes please)
Neens- AHHH like lanternlovers said, I love the general down to earth theme of this idea. The callback sheets are very thorough, and I like how the environment design sheet shows how you incorporated the best of each design into the final product. Are storyboards needed? If so, obviously that's the missing part of this pitch. You mentioned some things are missing though so I won't be too harsh about it.
Shen- TH ATS SOME GOOD SHIT, THATS THE SHIT I LIKE TO SEE IMSO GLAD YOURE FINALLY STARTING
I do love all the promo artwork, but I wish you could have made more thumbnails for the pages. However, as I recall, it was to warm you up in terms of 'getting the characters' so I won't press too much on it. (Plus, your comics job picked up speed)
If you do do more Support Group, I wanna see whatever the heck Greece [ITS GREECE ISNT IT] is actually smuggling.
Radji- HE WAS JUST DOING HIS JOOOOOB!!
Minteh- Ohhh gosh please make more, I love these backgrounds and I wanna see what your story behind them is, especially that archway on the second page.
Wutata- I enjoy how this entry is more of a literary approach; however, this means I will critique it like the beginnings of a short story.
Your writing style is very literal. That isn't to say being descriptive or flowery is the way to go; what I'm meaning is, your writing style describes everything as it happens, kind of just, telling the reader an objective view of events, which makes it kind of a dry read. There isn't a lot of emotional weight or personality put into the means by which it is written, so, even though Emily's friend has been in some sort of wreck, it feels very hollow. The only indication she's worried is her dialogue with Ami, and that it takes her longer to braid her hair.
Dansome- AAAAHHHH!!!!! DRAE!!!!!! AAAAAHHHH!!!!! ITS MY BABY!!!!!!!!!
-breathes- okay
The only big flaws I can tell is that on page four, its a bit unclear it's Drae talking [because the speech tail also points to Keeton], and in the third to last panel, its accidentally pointing to Drae instead of Keeton. OTHERWISE, BELLHAAAAAAART
Gregly- UGH I REALLY WANNA SEE MORE, you did so much and I applaud you but its BECAUSE its so good I want more. I'm always impressed at how much texture and feeling you can convey with just line. The first panel on page 5 is my favorite. (also, is that a Gwen? :''D)
choleric your stuff is so bamf!!
syraxis, i really love all the concept sketches, you do such nice pencil work it fills me with a deep rage
thren: I LOVE THE WORD SWORDS ITS SO CATCHYAND CLEVER
neen: omg mushroom houses... houses... gardening... peepeppepepepep SO CUTE CHAHFJK YOU VE BROKEN ME
SMAD
I didn't finish everything I wanted to finish. But I submitted a semi finished first page and a ref of one of the main protags. I just didn't time manage myself and I'm disappointed with that but I can only do better >:o
submitted mine; its from a scene in my webcomic so some parts may not exactly make sense on their own. i included most of a scene though [goal was to post any pages i finished in the span of the deadline]
Submitted my pages!
To clarify, I did the first ten pages two or three-ish years ago and did the last three for this. I originally had handwritten text, but I'm trying doing it digitally and it looks a lot better. (my font size is a bit too big though, i think.) This is the beginning of a longer story i've wanted to do for a while!
Get those supports to S rank! or at least A. hehe. Seriously, this is a great idea and I love to see so many people setting goals and helping each other. Be it direct assistance or just knowing that while what each person is doing may be singular, you can find camradery in the drive and effort put forth by friends and fellow artists.
To whatever it is you each are doing. Draw on!
Comments (24)