ah kozi you always manage to find the things I hate most about my own comics! XD Of all comics to lose steam on i wish it hadn't been this one since it really killed the impact of the story Ive been wanting to tell since I made the character. But i got tired and I made choices out of laziness and time constraint. I'm sorry Sugha, we've been planning this so long, you deserved better from me than this. Though I am glad my limited palette, also done out of time constraint, at least worked in my favor! This is a colouring style ive been playing with lately that i'm really coming to enjoy haha. sugha your comic is unfinished but you did a lot of stuff i really liked! having joey's initial blast of fire burn up the zombies and be what scarred her was a war smarter move than my extra three pages, I liked how he carved his name into his own skin god damn, and holy shit she blew his eye right out his head, DAMN, Lily! There was a lot you did that was more impactful than mine! I wish it had been a little more finished (why does everyone I ship Lily with turn in an unfinished comic against her? Am i cursing you guys?) but you DID turn in a whole story which is important here. I hope eventually we learn more about Joey... For those playing at home, I asked Sugha about revealing more about Joey in this story so it wasn't so Lily-heavy but Sugha wasn't ready. maybe you should make a BB sometime, go at your own pace so you dont have to worry about a deadline? in either case, thanks for fighting me finally! And thanks for the critiques, everyone! Sorry this isn't my best work ^^; But i'm glad youre enjoying Lily's new story arc!

I see in some of the commentary below doing the same story was intentional I think? That, or the theme/concept was agreed upon to be the same. Not sure why, but if that's the case, looking at them side by side, Shen did the better version. It's funny, flutterbye's makes a good point that things 'seem' stronger on your part because its a lilyfeather centric comic, but I disagree! Joey is going through some interesting personal conflict here- if not an unsettling fixation with a teenager. This could've so easily of shifted focus that we'd be able to see the demons conflict center stage, but hey. Woulda coulda's. SHEN- I'm liking this theme you seem to have going in your comics with limited palates. Considering the subject matter, all these nice red tones are very fitting. I dig the idea of the back seal being activated, but the means as to which is happened left me underwhelmed. I know that may be a nitpicky thing to say, but I've seen you handle story and change situations much more successfully in previous comics. The 'run after and accidentally trip', the flowery monologue from Joey about the power of friendship. Just little things here and there rather shows the wear and tear you've gone through making comics non-stop. Your storytelling overall seems frayed. ELGE- First off, congrats on turning in as much as you did. It's not a completed comic, but Rome wasn't built in a day. I'm glad to see that at least little by little, you're improving on what you've submitted before (also yay for no default!). Still, seeing your side raises some questions as to your process. With three weeks to work on this, I wonder if the initial abundance of time puts you off working on this until the deadline looms a little more threateningly. The images are rough, but you do a good job of rendering the characters themselves clearly enough to know what they're about, even if their environment/world is something of a white void. Also GASP- Joey got bit! Does that mean he's going to become a zombie? Now THAT would be a rad scar, though it raises some serious questions about necrophilia XD

Shen: cool story yo! I don't have much critique on the narrative part, it's relatively tight and tells us what we need to know for upcoming stories. The anatomy gets a little too fast and loose sometimes and most of the panels are drawn from the same camera angle. The overhead on page 9 could use a little more work, Joey and Lily have shadows that seem to come from different kinds of light sources. I think what would have greatly benefited your depth with the shots is to have the lightsource come from the side rather than from up top, that way these overhead shots can have lovely long shadows for you to play with. elge: 3 weeks man U_U You've done so much better in shorter time frames (compare this or your last comic to the one vs Miller or vs Mikal even vs Tsumi) and I'd be less on your case about it except this just keeps happening. And of all the artists who you've faced, Shen/Lilyfeather is the one who deserved your 100% effort most of all given how much non-comic lily/lesdai art is collected between you two. The solace in this is that you didn't default but you need to figure out what you're going to do to break out of these incompletion funks. It's not about pleasing everyone else; I know you're not satisfied with this product.

elge: I... Yes, it was an abrupt ending, Crow. I ran out of time and energy. Sorry. Aw geez, don't even worry about it, I totally know the feeling. Either way it was a lot of fun to read, you did good! Hopefully you can get some rest now and be back to the draw soon!

I... Yes, it was an abrupt ending, Crow. I ran out of time and energy. Sorry.

I've been looking forward to this! The level of completion aside, the base script is essentially a Lilyfeather-centric event, so it's only natural that Shen's take on things would be stronger. Because Lilyfeather is Shen's character, she communicates her story, her feelings, and what's at stake more effectively than Elge does. Also, I love the coloring and how it's reminiscent of something intended for an inexpensive, two color run. I wonder if there are other ways to bump up that potentially pulp comic look, like printing artifacts or something. I think the base script should have involved something more significant for Lesdai Grahl. That way, Elge's comic, while still covering the same essential story that gets Lilyfeather's new storyline going, could have been more fully a "his side of the story" kind of comic.

Woh THAT was intense, mes amis. So the clock's ticking for lily, i hope Satin and all her friends will help her.

Shen: like i mentioned earlier, we wrote the same rough sequence of events together and then took the spine and went our separate ways to flesh it out so its gonna be similar yeah, hope its not boring. somehow this seemed like a better idea in the planning stage XD na its definitely nothing new here on the site and there's ways to make it work. it almost feels like when you're giving a branch path in a game and you choose one to see one option but you scrub to check the other. I really enjoyed that concept and I enjoyed idea. but once I get a chance I'll get into the execution of it.

Aaaaaah, it's finally a Lily/Joey fight! I'm so excited to get to see this, Lily/Joey is my secret trash ship and it's really cool to see both of your guys sort of work forward with the same basic plot! Elge, I know this was a pretty quick turnaround, and you did a nice job (and also had no mercy on poor Joey, jesus, popped his eye right out?)! I wish that there could be a little more in the way of backgrounds, but I know how time-consuming that is; maybe take a moment or two to clean up the ones you do have next time, even just getting rid of perspective lines and other quick things like that? The one other suggestion I would have is that the end feels a tiny bit abrupt, it almost feels like there's a page missing. I'm awful at wrapping things up, so idk if I'm totally talking out of my ass, but those are my suggestions! Great job on getting things done, it was a lot of fun to read! Shen, I know you stressed a ton over this one, and I really don't think that you needed to! Your inks look really nice even without color, and considering how pressed you were for time due to your job I think the end result is pretty sweet. It's exciting to see Lily's plot getting rolling, and I can't wait to see more with that, and how her story is going to change after this point! It was also a really cute situation to put her in the graveyard for music practice too, I loved it XD

like i mentioned earlier, we wrote the same rough sequence of events together and then took the spine and went our separate ways to flesh it out so its gonna be similar yeah, hope its not boring. somehow this seemed like a better idea in the planning stage XD

damn Ill put in a crit later but its like you were on the same wavelength or something

Shen: I work all day tomorrow, and I have two jobs now, so I turned in what I could.... I'm sorry about the quality of this.... I've basically been in battles nonstop since about last March and I think its pretty clear from the writing and art I'm getting really burnt out. I wasn't able to tell this story the way I wanted to because of that, but at least I've finally started Lily's plot. I'm sorry this was all I could do. I'm tired. Hell is Waiting. we're all with you senpai ^^

I work all day tomorrow, and I have two jobs now, so I turned in what I could.... I'm sorry about the quality of this.... I've basically been in battles nonstop since about last March and I think its pretty clear from the writing and art I'm getting really burnt out. I wasn't able to tell this story the way I wanted to because of that, but at least I've finally started Lily's plot. I'm sorry this was all I could do. I'm tired. Hell is Waiting.

I'm so glad the Average Scores are so different. Therefore I don't feel so obligated to amaze you all with my expected horrific comic. Shit happens. So anyway, Hell is Waiting. Let's go.

HYYYYYPE! Just a few more days

Shen: elge: Radji: Lily gonna blow a fuse or sumthin'? Oh she's gonna blow something alright ;D EYYYYYY called it ^^

elge: Radji: Lily gonna blow a fuse or sumthin'? Oh she's gonna blow something alright ;D EYYYYYY

Radji: Lily gonna blow a fuse or sumthin'? Oh she's gonna blow something alright ;D

wowowowo a scar match ? wa, that's serious stuff, should be interesting, tho. I mean Lesdai is a demon after all... Lily gonna blow a fuse or sumthin'?

For this battle sugha and I knew we wanted to tell about the same story so we write a rough and dirty outline of the events and a vague idea of what both scars are going to be, but beyond that it will have a different script, slightly different scars and different character perspective. I hope they are different enough to be interesting!