Great you have you back, Hats! This was a great read, so bring on part 2!
Sadly, i have to echo previously said crits. Wizzie feels very distant and hard to relate to in this comic. The emotions and body language visuals have a part to play, but i also feel like the writing has let her down a tad.
When she flies off at the end to go face the enemy, there's no real tension. We've been shown she easily defeats a threat earlier in the comic. it's on a smaller scale, but there's no fear that she won't be okay. She appears bored- which is poison for readers. There's no recompense for her being so nonchalantly 'heroic'. It makes her feel arrogant and hard to relate to, as there is no struggle. As a result when she files off to join the danger rangers looking bored and not at all worried, it makes it feel more like 'well of course this won't be a problem for her' rather than 'oh no i hope everything will be okay!'. Her inner turmoil with Roy feels like the biggest threat to her right now, so hopefully we'll see these things cause problems for her to overcome with higher stakes in the next instalment. It would have been nice to close this arc with more of a cliffhanger and less of a 'oh boy here we go again' feeling.' I hope that hasn't made you feel poo about this! This is a fabulous comic and i desperately want to see the rest, but also I want to see the stakes raised and for Wizzie to be everything she's capable of being as a character, which we all know is a lot!
The style of this comic is delicious, and your handle of visual pacing, tone and overall draughtmanship is a delight. The end of the bed panels really speak out, they were a strong choice and im glad you chose to spend that time on them. Your choices of background and panel layouts are exceptional, the debt will be repaid page is knock-out, as is the one preceding it. The one panel where i really feel connected to Wizzie is how she looks up at Roy with adoration. This panel feels so emotive and genuine, so you nailed this one for sure!
I really want to see where this goes, and i hope we get to see Wizzie in action properly soon, like this comic hints at! <3
I want to thank everyone so much for their tremendous support and I am so relieved the story was well received. So again, thank you thank you.
As for Kozi and Rofl's comment on my expressions - cheers for pointing that out because it's not something I would have picked up on on my own, and since expressions and emotions are really important to me for my storytelling, I will be definitely be doing some practice making the emotions have more impact, so thank you for pointing that out as I wasn't aware it wasn't as emotive as I wanted (especially wizzie's break down scene when she wakes up, that's such a shame - but practice makes perfect I suppose!)
This is terrific opener. I'm really into the story and I've thought you've done super well. You've developed the idea well and I love watching her move through it. I'm really pleased with how we're presented with her issues and problems with her relationships and getting over them. This newer style of yours is really great. It's a tremendous amount of fun to look at and while the story is of a heavier emotional and dramatic content, it feels right.
However, I agree with Kozi that I think your expressions might be suffering a bit. Page 7 really kind of makes that apparent. I don't get the sense Wizzie is actually sad or crying when her eyebrows kind of keep the same position each time. I would maybe have the eyebrows move more. I think that's the main issue, because by keeping the pill shape of the eyebrows, you may be limiting yourself on what can be done with the emotions of your characters. The robber in the beginning is actually super emotive looking compared to everyone else and that's possibly because his eyes are moving around a lot more in shape.
You've done a super great job with this comic. I'm excited to see how this develops and turns out and if it's anything like this, you'll really hit it out of the park. Terrific work.
Granted, my critique will look biased, but I honestly think this is a really great first 'episode'!
Seeing your void battles over the years has really shown a fascinating level of growth and variety in terms of your art and style. Some things I like and some things I don't like, but never let it be said we see the same thing, because we don't! You have such a great way of making Wizzie real in a way you don't see very often on void. Too often people write their fighters as heroes who can do no wrong and have on point A+ qualities, but for Wizzie, nothing could be further from the truth. She's hung up on her ex, can be a total brat and isn't perfect. I mean the record of her failures is etched even on her body. THAT makes her such a compelling character.
If there were any complaints that struck me with this comic, its that this style doesn't really lend itself to really exploring emotions and expressions. The simplistic style sort of makes everything subdued and not as intense as I think you intended. That heavy moment where Wizz wakes up after her nightmare and bursts into tears just didn't pack that impact I'm used to seeing in your earlier work when you had fully rendered faces. Granted, I'm a fan of seeing how often you change it up, but it'd be interesting to see this style further developed.
I am SO STOKED you are using Creamimi as a means for some well needed action. Despite the fact this is just part one, I think you did a bang up job of setting the stage of what Wizzie and her team are up against. I truly appreciate not only your WIPs that you shared, but how open you are about your process. I honestly think any voider you take on to enhance your comics are definitely going to be done justice. :) Keep the great comics coming!
WOW this comic was wonderful! Love that it connects with the Mimi/Creamy comic plot. The only real thing I can think of to crit is some of the panels are a little bare and some of the tones are too similar and can all bend together (some characters with the background like Wizzie in a few panels on 14, 16 and 17). Other than that this was a good read and I can't wait for the next part! Great job c:
Somebody get poor Mimi down from there! XD I think one of my favorite things about this comic is how you can see your art style evolve. i know you were working on this for months and slowly it gets more and more refined, i think, since at the beginning you were just starting out drawing in this way, and by the end its more personalized as you got the hang of it. So for me, starting at about page 13 on theres a big spike in quality. As for the story, this is a great setup, little drama, little intrigue, you got me hooked here so i hope you don't take too long to draw the next part so we can see what happens!
Also, obligatory- FITE ME
this is amazing. i seriously didnt expect something like that in this current style. its freaking entertaining. nothing to complain. except.... give us the second half damnit :D
Having had a continuous sneak peek of this story from before it even became what it is now, it's great to see the final pages on void! You've already gotten my notes on this part and thanks much again for the cameos, now onto the next piece!~
This is a comic I was working on a couple of months back, and since I'm back at uni and can't commit to working on the comic in its entirety right now I decided to upload it in parts - coz these pages have just been sitting there on my computer for a while now, and with no guarantee when I can continue (though I definitely want to) I thought it'd be best to at least show ya'll what I had so far, since its been so long since I've done a Wizzie comic anyway.
PEACE.
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