i liked the comic. story. action. most of it. but i really had trouble reading it at all because of the linework. its hard to read a comic with a lot of blacks when the lineweight changes very minimal. i´d liked to see drawing the attention to the iimportant scenes due to your linework. alot of sidedetails were pushed in front due to this and distracted me from the actual comic.

Always nice to see you around, even better to see your finished works on display here. I liked your characters, I thought the massive monster side-kick child was a really great idea and was easily my favorite of our three, both in terms of design and idea. I thought this made a good short origin story to Ryan and it was neat to see the start of a new continuity and ideas at play. That panel layout on page one is REALLY tricky and REALLY messing with me. It's a little too tight and as a result, I think the dialogue goes from 'the bolton brothers are dickholes' to 'hq to monolith urgent, urgent' and that's how I read it at first, before scrolling down after getting more out of order and seeing that it's a single large panel. I'm all for creative paneling, but I think it didn't work for your favor here and was a little too messy. I think you should consider having more panels like panel 1 of page 2 or panel 5 of page 3. That breathing space to allow your characters to be appreciated without distraction is really helpful and it keeps us from getting overwhelmed by how busy some of your panels are. It's also important to recognize when and when not to have borders around your panels so that the action is kept understandable. Still, the first page is the worst of it and I think it takes a good up-turn because page 2 is probably the best of the lot. Page 3's 'hair connection' in the middle is a great little directional cue and I thought it was very thoughtful on your part. This part isn't really attached to anything, but it's absolutely worth noting. I also think a contributing factor to the busyness of this piece is that your shadows are done a bit scribbly. This would be alright if we were working on an Edward Gorey style, but I think in this case it's hurting the visibility and readability of your comic. I think solid black shading would have gone a lot further to improve your work here. If you're planning on doing more work, that sounds great, I would be a bit careful if you intend to do around only 5 pages each time. While that sounds like a good strategy to keep workloads low and to push yourself to completion more, you may feel like you need to have stuff happening each 'installment' and that could hurt the overall narrative, so be careful of that. Overall, this was a pleasant read. I was a little turned away at first by the first page, but everything else after that was a dream. I hope next time you take advantage of the time and make your line-widths stronger looking. You've got me interested! Great work!

PyrasTerran: it all feels like it was drawn with the same stroke sizes altogether You'd be right, it basically was. I was drawing so fast at the end to ink everything that I was maxing out my tablet's pressure sensitivity. Hopefully I can budget my time better on future comics and get the line weights I want.

Good to see you back! You wanna watch out with your line widths, it all feels like it was drawn with the same stroke sizes altogether and you don't want that, consider shades and watch out with too many word bubbles like in page 3. Hope to see more of you in the future~

Ugh, I lost my long comment. Basically, just pay attention to visual weights. A lot of your work gets kind of lost in itself because everything has a pretty even visual weight to me. More importantly, though, welcome back and I look forward to whatever comes next! Just don't try to do too much this time, okay? ;)

Dino Nebitt: Lastly, I'm curious what the titular Feel Freak is. I think while waiting for this comic, I was thrown off by your avatar, thinking maybe that twisted character was something to do with this comic, so this ended up not being anything like what I was expecting. I'm saving my sick and twisted tendencies for other characters (apart from Dr Spector's monsters). My goal for this series is to create an all ages comic, something you could hand to a 7 year old without a second thought. As for the Feel Freak, that will become more relevant in future issues as Ryan discovers exactly what powers he has from the mixing of Dr Spector's and Monolith's energies...

Yeah, I'll admit that the first page is a bit of a mess when it comes to the dialogue placement. I did this the old Marvel Comics style, with a panel by panel action script for drawing the comic, and then adding the dialogue last to best fit the action. Poor planning on my part, I'll watch out for it in the future.

You filled all these pages really well and the story is paced really quickly/well. Except.... That first page with all the word bubbles but is a bit of a jumble. You planned the page well, it looks like you wanted our eye to move down his leg and head to the right at Paul's hat and speech bubble but it doesn't work as well in black and white. Color definitely would have helped, but your inks are looking really good in this, and you kept the style consistent throughout. Looking forward to the next chapter after this introduction!

These pages look great, the panel variation is really nice, and the action is mostly easy to follow. Only two things that tripped me up were the very first panel, where you've got the dialog flowing from the crooks to the incoming radio distress call, and kind of skipping over the officer's dialog at the bottom of the first panel. It's not terrible, as you can read it like he got a call just before Paul says his piece, but it does kind of break up the urgency of the message, and makes the oblivious Paul seem like an annoyance, keeping our hero in the current scene when he needs to be rocketing off into the next one. The other thing being the villain's gauntlet in panel 1 of page 2. I love the panel itself, but I thought it was the hero's hand at first, because there's no indication that it's happening in another location. I think this would easily be solved if the comic were in color, having that one panel stand out from the others with a sinister hue. But since it's in black and white, maybe a quick narrative box, "A cloaked figure looms nearby", or "Just out of our hero's view..." or something to indicate the shift in focus. Lastly, I'm curious what the titular Feel Freak is. I think while waiting for this comic, I was thrown off by your avatar, thinking maybe that twisted character was something to do with this comic, so this ended up not being anything like what I was expecting.

This was lots of fun to write. Classic superhero stuff that cuts straight to the action is some of my favorite stuff. I think I got some of the rust out. On to other more important things.

come on dude so we can get this character collab rocking!!!

You can do it Bent! Keep it going!

UPDATE: I'm having issues with my computer, and some of the pages I was working on for this tonight got corrupted. I have to redraw and letter 2 pages, so there is a special extension on the comic. I WILL deliver on this, if it kills me.

Almost time. I'm really curious to find out what this is gonna be.

You got this, Bent.

I REALLY don't want to let you guys down on this, and life has been kicking my ass. Not gonna whine, but I'm just taking a little longer than I expected.

REDEMPT IT

Good luck! Make it good, man!

or me! D:<

do not disappoint me!

The time for redemption is now.