Marin - This makes me saaaaaad :(
Betito - You have come such a long way from when you first started here at Void! :D I love how you did two battles at once and totally knocked both out of the park. Great use of color and clean cel-shading.
- Page 1/Panel 2 is gorgeous! But the next panel is not so good ~ that caption block right over Beta's eyes isn't great positioning.
- Love the between-the-feet angle on Page 2!
- Page 7, Panel 1 is rockin' ~ but the next panel, I always get annoyed by disappearing faces! If it were just the eyes, I could see it as an anime mood-setting technique, or if the chracter was far away. But Beta is too close, front and center for that to work here.
- I enjoy your character poses on the final page.
Overall, nice work ~ You've definitely impressed me :)
Marinduquenio -
nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Betito -
You could put some more weight and exaggeration into the action of your figures. Many of the panels where their swords clash feel weak, like there's no real strength behind the blows. Like, for example, the panel where Beta is actually remarking on Ru's strength. She's standing there pretty lightly, and seems kinda un-affected by the blow. Her arms aren't braced against her body, she's not leaning into the guard, her sword isn't deforming from the blow, and she's not being moved by the attack. It looks kinda light, and definitely not the sort of attack that'd make you comment on a dudes strength favorably.
The colouring is nice and clean, but you've got a fine dusting of white pixels around your line-art in some places. Make sure you always colour past the line, otherwise the anti-aliasing on the line will cause those colourless bits.
It's a wonderful polished comic dude, I can't repeat enough how amazed I am that someone did so well with two fights at once. If you had even only been working on one of this comics it'd be great. But both of them out at the same time is completely mindblowing. Hell yeah.
Quick notes for Betito: Careful with your choice of shots. There are panel sequences where the 180 degree rule is broken and causes me to lose track of character positions. While a variation on camera is definitely recommended, be mindful of character positions. Also be mindful of flow and direction of actions, specially in cases like pg 6 panel 1-2. Beta looks to be facing one direction, and then abruptly shifting to the other way and intentionally swinging away from Ru, making it look more like she is intentionally missing than missing due to Ru dodging it.
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