Pineapple Pocky - This loose expressive stuff is sick as hell dude. Don't draw everything that crazy loose though. You've got to tighten up some stuff so that the reader has something to focus and rest on. The quick strokes and fluid marks should lead the reader around the page, stopping on important, more carefully expressed details before zooming off the next one. Like the last panel, you got really into carefully rendering Sonny's awesome robot face, you were even pretty careful about his cloak. More super cool moments like that throughout your comic would've been perfect. Coatl - Dude, I love those soft lines! And the light colouring compliments it well. I think if you keep everything clean and crisp this style could really look awesome. The pencil shading gets really rough and sloppy in places, and so are most of the backgrounds, but that just looks like you got rushed. If you're going to use pencils so much though, you need to find a way to keep your page clean. I might be super wrong, but it looks like these pages got a lot of lead smudged on them as you were working, and you tried to clean in up digitally afterwards. It's not a great look, and it'd make your comics look way more polished if you just kept them neater on the page. Try to keep your hand up off the page as you draw. If you can't, work on panels in a direction that means you never have to drag the side of your hand across a finished drawing. You could also switch to a harder pencil or a waxier pencil, both of which are less likely to smudge if you accidentally touch your line work.

pineapple pocky: This is a beautiful piece, artistically. It captures the tension and raw emotion of the story very well. It feels like a lot of love was put into it and that's great. My concern is that there were many panels that I wasn't able to figure out in my first or even second read. So alot of information on what exactly was happening and how got lost until I went back and looked again and analyzed some of the panels hard. There are some panels that I still don't fully grasp. I think you need to find a sharper balance between evoking the emotion of the story through the rawness of the strokes, and making sure it is visibly understandable as well. Don't worry about trying to be accurate to Arena's Set saga, you got the main idea of the situation down just fine. I had trouble reading it at first, it looks like the word bubbles went right to left, then back to left to right. Coatl: This is great work, and I think you should pursue this style of pages in the future. It's a shame you couldn't finish, as I knew the bit of the behind the scenes about this comic and what you were ultimately trying to get across by the end of it (that message being completely absent in what is shown here) Keep it up both of you!

LeFred, i had a serious hard time with the word bubbling. I think it's because I always draw the pictures before the bubbles and somehow always forget that there were supposed to be bubbles there until the very last minute. When I finally realized it in my comic, I quickly took out a pen and wrote it on separate paper, cut it out, and pasted those cutouts on the image itself >.>' I have heard about having illustrations only taking up 60% of the frame or something, but it always drifts off my mind. I really learned my lesson here, and I should study it up by reading left-to-right comics instead of Japanese manga all the time.

Pineapple: mah boy, I did like the very rough and texture-heavy style you got going on here, but it does get a bit too confusing. Things are cool to look at, but not to read. Not helped by the rushed (I'm guessing) text and bubbles. But, like, that first panel where we see Arena and that ORALE thing with the white punch imprints? Totally cool. If you want to coninue with something like that (which I'd love) you'll need to have stronger, less cluttered compositions and work extra hard on driving the eye through the page, because right now, all I get is a general sense of ACTION going on, but not much to keep me interested aside from the pretty textures and the original stylistic elements. Coatl: girl, totally great to see you try something like that. When you do it right, it feels very right. But the anatomy gets inconsistent. Florence's hand in page 2 is way big, and so are the heads at the end of page 3. It's also kind of hard to recognize some of the characters - and I don't mean from their original, but from panel to panel. For example, I was very confused as to who Sonny was supposed to be between oage 2 and 3 because her face keeps changing and her firends look kind of similar too. Also, that whole flashback thing again, it would be nice to have some kind of visual indicator when you do it. Also, I guess the joke is that Florence is actually a girl? That could also have been clearer. But yeah, when you do it right the style is charming, and the gender-bended cameos were amusing. This battle resulted in: a satisfying read. You both have some interesting stuff going on and you just need to keep at it. Good job you guys.

well fuck

Sent. I just want to note the Tag Team Tournament was going on when I was drawing this comic, and that I wasn't aware how the orphanage story or whatever pretty much dispersed. And a bunch of other excuses, but those are the two main ones. And I'm gonna say that this comic will resemble those stories you read in Shounen Jump. I was reading Choujin Gakuen over, and over, and over, and over...

pineapple pocky: Hey how far are you on this? You should be inking by now :I I'm gonna make sure you finish more than half of this at least before deadline I'm inking it already but first I'm concentrating on making sure I get my homework done. Plus I got a quiz tomorrow I want to study for

Hey how far are you on this? You should be inking by now :I I'm gonna make sure you finish more than half of this at least before deadline

pineapple pocky: Maybe it's time you find different settings for your story. Go read/watch Gintama. That thing will blow your mind into the endless possibilities a single series can cough out. I've read a few chapters and I like them. I might continue for Sonny stories but I think what I want to do is explore alternateive realities with him. And/Or conitnue his story within those alternative concepts.

Maybe it's time you find different settings for your story. Go read/watch Gintama. That thing will blow your mind into the endless possibilities a single series can cough out.

Sorry guys, looks like I'm gonna run the same ol' story i usually do but in Genderbender form. :I

oh awesome! Its happening!