GALLOS YOU DID IT Finally. Fucking love that you got a completed, up to scratch comic in for the deadline despite everything. You have solid writing and you don't stray from tricky shots (though you can totally push them MORE). Main issues I had were some panelling layouts (like that first page) and your typical "I draw comics with a mouse in flash". Also jesus god dude, don't have more word balloons than art. I'm looking at you page 5. The comic seemed to end a little.. dully too. I'd work on that if I were you. Energy: Words next time, please. We know shitall here and it doesn't help that it's not finished. You can do better than this man.

Inquisitor Galloglasses - Oh man, that was so much better than your last comic! It feels like you put a ton of effort into this, and that's worth more than anything. I feel bad that I don't have much more advice than " Draw a lot". Keep practicing your fundamentals. I found this nice digital book on the fundamentals of figure drawing http://www.erikgist.com/ErikGist_WattsAtelierFigureTutorial.pdf . Don't be intimidated, it's very strait forward. Just draw like a crazy person! Energy - It would have been better if you finished the story instead of giving us a fully colored and lit first page. Leave the polish for way later, because right now you just need to practice the basics of construction before anything else. I saw in your once a week that you're focusing on learning the torso right now, and my advice to you would be to back away from anatomy. Instead of trying to draw the complex form of the human body, practice by doing a whole mess of still lives. It'll help you work on your sense of form, and it's totally easy to set up and do a few whenever you have time.

Inquisitor: Good to see you back in the game. Your script was fine and all, but next time maybe consider either trimming some bits out, or go for larger panels. The bottom halves of page 2 and page 5 feel really crowded with the speech bubbles. Energy: I think you already know what you've got to work on. Just keep at it and keep practicing. Your persistance is admirable.

Inquisitor: you've got a solid script so be proud of that.It's good to see that you have a sort of handle on expressions two, that's two counts in your favor. Just keep practicing and improving on your artwork and listen to everything these guys say about that improvement, and 'hope to see that improvement in the next match. Energy: When i got to page 2 and then 3, I felt like I fell into a vacuum of WHAT IS HAPPENING----__ same advice as Inquisitor, and get it done too! Keep it up both of y'all~

Gallo!: I'm glad you're back in the game, and I hope you keep this going. Your writing for this comic was wonderful. I always love your sense of humor. Your linework is a little wonky to me, kind of like you used Flash and it tried to smooth it out or something... I'm not sure exactly how to describe it. I like the use of different line weights, though, and I enjoyed how you stretched yourself with poses, angles, and action shots. Just keep practicing and keep drawing, man! Energy: That first page is showing some definite improvement, and your line quality is so much cleaner than it has in the past, but MAN JUST FINISH A COMIC! You had three weeks for this! Maybe you should tell your brother you can't play video games with him sometimes. Actually, I've noticed that personally, playing video games kind of saps my motivation, so I challenge you to go a week without any video games and just hammer out as much art as you can. I mean, it's up to you, but I really want to see some finished stuff from you.

Energy, I promised you that I'll try my best to help you out here.And Inquisitor, you have improved much from your last stuff. I shall begin now. Inquisitor: You have a grasp of how to put facial expressions on the characters, and now it's time to dumb it down. That doesn't make much sense, but I think the reason why you have so many closeups on the face is because of the concentration of information on it. What you need is body language. How would someone act if you couldn't see their face? Their posture? The hands? The impact? If you kick someone in the face, it's not just their face that feels the pain; their whole body reacts to the direction of the impact and the arms counterbalance when that happens (as in when you punch someone back, your arms are forward). So time to concentrate more on body, less on face. That way when you zoom out to some other part of the body, it's not just the head that's being concentrated on. A reason why speech bubbles have tails is so it can indicate who is talking, so that you don't have to zoom in on their head moving their mouths all the time. Also, please think of a better font and make sure there's breathing space in the speech bubble for the font. Also, change the space between top and bottom characters so it's not so wide. Energy: Congratulations on submitting something. Even though it's four pages, this is enough for me to help you out. You have the diligence to work now, so it's time to break your old habits. I notice that all your lines connect from one to the other, and this can create a tedious time consuming method of drawing (this only applies to you). So what I want you to do is try drawing it by hand, and be 'loose' with it-if you have a paintbrush and black ink, try drawing with it. Another note is that your concentration is too much on the character itself, and not the environment. With stories that involve an object, the object is a key element. Your comic revolves around the building, and no building=no story. So next time you draw your next comic, try drawing the background environment BEFORE the characters. And I think you can upgrade to speed lines and motion lines now that you've gotten to the step of being able to draw panels and characters. You should start reading some comics that are completely different from what you draw, just to shake up your drawing influence too.

But WHY was a fight supposed to happen??

Zetsubou-Kura: Energy: Because I can never figure out what's going on in your head as you create these let's try something else. Can you explain right here in the comments what was supposed to happen in your comic? I am extremely lost

I was never very good at explaining things... but I'll try. Supposedly, I wanted to actually do a fight scene. Okay, actually, Sasha was going to rush into that "abandoned" building (and I put abandoned in quotes because that may be a questionable use of the adjective) and try to kill Jessie. A fight was supposed to happen.

Whoa! Im seeing some light casting done, Energy. Keep at it. Now about finishing. . . . maybe if you concoct a story that wouldn't require any dialogue, it wouls save you a headache and even a couple days in rgards to story. Just a thought though.

Gallo: 90% of your comic was zoomed in face shots. You need to establish the scene and where people are in relation to each other, lest the comic just be about talking faces. Energy: Because I can never figure out what's going on in your head as you create these let's try something else. Can you explain right here in the comments what was supposed to happen in your comic? I am extremely lost

Uploaded everything I could do.

Nevermind, turns out everyone I know is very bad at arranging when and were I am needed for something, will have my pages uploaded tonight.

Something's come up. Literally have to leave my house in 5 minutes, won't be back until Thursday I won't have this uploaded in time. I'm sorry.

Wait we have twelve days left? I thought it was seven? In either case I am not complaining, I could use the extra time due to TWELVE HOUR WORKDAYS YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

YAY!!!! We got Gallo back!

Fucking finally!