May Wu and her dad reminds me of how my dad is trying to teach me how to cook authentic Chinese food in the house.
Video, I feel like the outlines of the characters vs. the background are a bit inconsistent. Watch out for the thickness of the line that surrounds each character--the outline is sometimes awfully thick, and I'm sure thinning the outline won't take away from the focal points of the panels either. I also think you should consider trying new sound effect fonts, or adding some in--i know motion is applied, but sometimes giving a little sound effect makes things sound more painful; I wish I could help a little more about sound effects, but even I have an awful problem with it too. I also want to point out that the motion of the characters and their reactions are a bit off--maybe not painful enough, but that's just my own taste. If you think about a character being hit, it's not just their arms moving--it's their legs, tummy, eyes, mouth, and even a little blood, teeth, and spit too.
I love the colors in both of these comics! Beautifully done. Other than that, Everything I could have said has already been said... almost.
Video, I love May's story, but I felt a little bit like Amelia and Lucas just got thrown in to her story in this comic. I like how you used them, but they felt much more secondary than I would have hoped. I guess that's just a personal preference, but there's my two cents anyways. Your storytelling is definitely improving with every comic!
Slagglle: Very well done and shaded! The close up on the food was definitely impressive! Wish we could have seen the whole thing, but what you have is great!
Video320: I like how bright and cartoony your comic is! You did a great, concise job of setting up backstory for May Wu and her dad. Keep it up!
Slagglle: Shame about not being able to complete your comic but what you did draw was gorgeous! It's difficult to make food look good enough to eat but you got it spot on (even if May didn't).
Video: Well done for giving 2 comics a go at once! I know I couldn't. You've got a good sense of pacing where action is involved but the story started to confuse me a bit near the end and I felt like I was starting to read a different story. Work on your anatomy (you're getting there) and concentrate on keeping characters and designs on model.
Video, Sorry this was all I could give you. I was busier than expected and didn't have much time for drawing.
I enjoyed your side of the battle though. Your portrayal of my characters was as accurate as can be, and I love the idea of food themed martial arts. It makes me wish I went with that idea. Also, I personally think that the picture of Victor used for the second to last thumbnail is particularly well done.
Besides what others have mentioned (font, backgrounds, perspective) the one thing that kind of irked me was the Photoshopped pictures of food on the wall. I think that if you can, you should always draw those types of things. I want to see YOUR art, not photos off Google.
Other than that, good showing and I hope you win this one.
To everyone else, thanks for the comments and critiques. I definitely messed up the perspective in a number of spots, so I'll keep working on that. Otherwise, I'm glad you liked the food! That was the one thing I was determined to get right.
Slagglle! The way you drew Victor! Wow, I never thought I'd see him drawn in any style other than super cartoony. I feel like you definitely had the short end of the stick with my characters being so new.The food you drew is amazballs.
Kozi - Yeah, I wish I had a larger part for Amelia & Lucas but time constraints and all, y'know? Awkward = Everything I do.
Tofu - BG's are always my biggest downfall, sorry. Yeah, it wasn't comic sans but an ugly comic type all the same. I meant to change it but, I dunno, reasons.
Atomicfish - haha, I think anyone can relate to the expectations of parents. May's dad will be doing a lot of spotlight stealing. I'm glad you liked it. :D
@Slagglle: The linework, like others have said, is indeed amazing and the food looks like food which is a plus. The only thing that I caught that is in need of fixing is May's hands on page 1. On page 2, I think your perspective is a bit wonky with May's father being on one sort of perspective while the rest of the room and May seem to be on another. Otherwise, it's a shame this wasn't finished!
Slagglle, that food looks good enough to eat! HOLY COW. Love the amount of detail in this comic, shame that it isn't finished!
Video: How were you able to do two battles at once? Great job on getting both done, although I think that you might have rushed this comic more than the VS Grey one. I liked the dialog and the martial arts food battles, although I think your perspective took a serious hit and some poses look a little stiff. Clean up that linework--victor wu's hair looks ms painted on at times, and other times things don't look as straight or solid as they should be.
Finally, this is mostly a nitpick from me, but CHANGE THAT FONT. COMIC SANS SHOULDN'T BE USED EVER EVER EVER you know better than this. Aside from that, I really look forward to seeing more of the Wu Tang Clan!
VIDEO320- wowie wow wow! for having two battles to contend with, you really went all out on both! I was so into seeing May develop and get her flambe flash on that I almost didn't realize the 'customers' were Slaggle's fighters. The story definitely kept my attention, even if certain things were kind of hilarious for their awkwardness. Like the guy just punching a hole in the door and KEEPING his arm there while he was spoken to? WAT XD
I would mention your quality as it seems apparent even from the thumbnails which pages you showed love and time to and which you didn't.
SLAGGLE- Gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous. Quality is definitely something that isn't lacking in your pages. the detail, the crisp linework. I really loved roving over your panels to check out the finer details. I'm only bummed such fantastic looking pages didn't seem to go anywhere story-wise.
Done. I had a bit of trouble including Amelia & Lucas in the story. Sorry if they weren't cool enough.
Kozi - Oh jeez, I hope so to. I probably wont do it again.
Best of luck to you Slagglle, thanks for the fight!
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