JLG: Woah this is incredibly unfinished!
I do dig some of the panel layouts you have here, but without a more complete products there's not much for me to get into. In fact, this feels like you either started too late or something came up preventing you form getting past the sketch phase.
And that is what this feels like,a sketch. Rough to the point where it's still mutable and susceptible to change. Ready to mould beneath your story.
As for the story, well I have a few gripes. For all that build up you give it, it ends shortly and with little fanfare. The speech bubbles you use to convey the story are sloppy and often hidden behind other sketches. There are some slight inconsistencies in the story, such as when MysteriousGirl X says "come back to bed wolfie", we've not seen him in bed. Instead, we open up with him on the sofa, it would have been much stronger to have him woken up in bed with that conclusion.
Another point to note is the flow on that third page. You have the "Big Bro" go from yelling at the kids (mostly obscured by the doodles over the speech bubbles) to having his back turned to them. There is no indication of any movement in those panels to let us know how he was going to move, those subtle hints really help the flow in a comic and should be made a note of.
Overall, I want to see you finish something. You have a scratchy, nigh-anarchic style that I'd like to see done to a close. Better luck next time!
GPS: Yo, sup!
You start off really strong in this one, with some powerful angles and a good finished quality. I was almost ready to say this was one of your strongest comics, but sadly you did blow out.
Beyond giving you the time old advice of "manage your time better" I'ma give you a few tip top pieces of sageywisdomknowhow for the future.
Firstly, don't just plan your time well, but plan for your own ability and your own drive. Ideally, we want to see full completed works each and every time. But that doesn't quite push you, you need to aim just beyond what you are capable of, we want to see you pushing yourself each time. Failure doesn't mean failure so long as you are pushing yourself to go further and overcome what you have done before.
Secondly, don't go to pencil to paper without a script/story/awesomesaucefightscene that doesn't enthuse your very bones. Without that initial drive, you're going to flounder and have to force yourself to drive on ahead. This doesn't make for a very productive comic. If you're not confident that you can make a story that knuckle whiteningly fantastic, then just go with what interests you, anything that gives you the spark to take it from beginning to end.
So enough about that, I do like the strong start. You have that solid action angle, it's all fully lined and panelled in a solid way. I think it could probably have done with some more SFX, but overall the first page is a solid start.
Then we get onto the second page, now I've mentioned this to a few other artists before but there is a hidden pitfall in doing action. And that is keeping everything consistent, most notably with positions of characters relative to each other. In that second to third page transition, you have the gasping dude go from being throat locked by Gregory's elbow right next to him to about 2 - 3m away. Keep an eye on that sorta thing in the future, as it breaks some of the immersion and makes it clear to the reader that your fight will follow your vision rather than any natural flow within the story.
I can't help but notice that you don't tackle the more daring angles again after that first page, but these action scenes really could have used it for that extra punch!
Overall, it's a pity that you didn't finish, but at least learn from this for next time. You've been making solid progress and it'd be a shame to see that go to waste.
GPS: I watched you stream some of the bits of this, and although I'm bummed you couldn't get more of it done I understand what it feels like to loose that motivation in the middle of something. Even so, what you got done was very nice. I'm not sure if you intended there to be words or not in the final product, but the paneling, the emotion, the body language. I understood everything that was going on even without a single word. And of course, your backgrounds are amazing with all those little details but they are certainly a mood killer to spend 5 hours just drawing little bits on bricks on a wall. Give yourself a break on those, jump around to other pages when you get tired of drawing those little background details. It's hard to keep a mind in any one mode for too long, be it creative or detail oriented.
Joshua: I didn't know who your characters were prior to this, do to being quite the newbie to void, and the actual sentai members I didn't learn much of I felt. But your characterization of the temple, the two kids, and who howling was on your side was excellent. A shame it was all sketchy but thanksgiving gets in everyone's way. I absolutely love how much command you have over the text and word bubbles and though I like how much variety you can draw in a single face, that elasticity, having a single persons face so drastically change key features did throw me off a bit.
Yeah, it was a Sentai Greg. I had this whole thing planned, but alas, it wasn't meant to be. I enjoyed how you turned Greg into a drinking snaggle toothed baddy. I got a good laugh. Thanks for the battle! If we go again, I promises to give you something better. At the very least complete
Hey GPS, no worries man, it kind of ended at an awkward holiday time, and, well as you can see I struggled with time also. I think the inks you did have were looking quite nice, was that a Sentai Greg?
Thanks for agreeing to this last-minute, wacky match :D
Kura, thanks for the good crit, it is well taken and will be (hopefully) applied! :) on model has never been my strong suit.
joshuaeligilley: I REALLY dont like how G-Howling is constantly off model every time you draw him. it's like every panel he's a different character.
I've got nothing else to say really. please plan your pages accordingly to your time limit so that you dont have to turn in rushed pages. (hypocrite)
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