Thanan, Anatomy. Just because dude's got a beard doesn't mean he doesn't have a face underneath it. It feels like you're being a little lax with that. Or take that panel where your character's punching. The punch is only in his arm. In real life, a punch starts with a step & swings with the hips & shoulders for force. Just because we may not be seeing his feet in the panel doesn't mean we can completely write off the way he's standing. It all makes a difference. And we need more of a world than a couple brick walls. Give the area some thought. Make it seem like a world where these characters exist & not just some kind of obligation to fill up negative space. Good action though! GPS, I think you've got to shrink your line depths some & up your clarity a bit right now. It was all thick & black & running together. That's not say you can't work your way into thicker, looser brush work, but it's hard to read right now. I liked the progression of him reaching for the sword though. Nice overlap.

Dude Otis is a badass in this comic. I guess his robe could have some more folds but that's all I would fix.

Hey everyone! OK so first things first. I love the critique and I'm glad you guys were entertained to some degree by my comic :) the critique you gave me last time was invaluable and it really helped me improve, so thanks! :) ...now, -Con: i originally had some speed lines for some of the action scenes but it looked silly because... not enough dynamic angles to play with, so i will definitely be incorporating your good critique (p.s. the transformation/him freaking out from the cut were my faves as well) . -slothvert: Again, those darn dynamics, i will definitely be working on those :) glad to hear you like the transformation! i loved it too! -Cherubas: I completely agree with the arm issue, lol I was just glad it looked like he was getting punched. on a side note, i Googled some references for "face punch" and found that the eye squints if the person is expecting it ( like flinching) and mote of the experienced boxing references had the eye open, so my only reasoning behind leaving his eye open was to convey both the experience and the un-phased-ness (like you stated earlier) lol my girlfriend mentioned the same thing, so i guess it was a 50/50. also, that deadline was a killer this last week! -angieness: i will push further... its the only thing i know how to do ( unless work and college intervene:( ) thanks for the complements by the way! -GPS-Device: i loved your round and the way drew Otis was cool! its a neat coincidence that we both were drawn to the alleyways of void city! hope i got your character down right! -TINMAN: lol i was wondering why nobody had said anything about my anatomy, definitely gonna work on that! in this comic I was trying to show more of Otis's serious side but my writing level dropped when i had a 35 hour work week and 2 math tests ( one of witch i failed ) so college and work kinda hurt me this round, but this next round ( if i make it ) i will have more time because I've requested a few days off! thanks for the compliments and critiques! this is the coolest cite and I'm loving it here, i suffer from internet hermit-ism which keeps me from posting but I'm trying to change that here! :)

Thanan: You've got a great sense for shots and battle pacing but I wish you put as much care into your anatomy and proportion as you do your design. Quite a beastly fight and you make less use of Otis' gregarious personality but at least we learn something of his relationship with the esper. I like that duo and want to see more of them in action, just step up that anatomy and backgrounds and you'll be aces. GPS: I personally love your brushy inked style, its perfectly suited for the dark and violent alley fights you gravitate towards. There are times you could afford to do with less and truly learning 'economy'- actually doing as much as possible with as little ink as possible will be your greatest challenge- but also what will make you a standout great artist. You've got nice pacing and brutal action down- even managed to loop the plot back into the Void world at large. If anything work on pulling back your camera some to show these blows set up and connect and ease up on the filler type mess to open up some spaces. Every panel should have a black,white and grey are to separate the 3d plane- use that to your advantage as an inker type artist.

I made no promises of back flips. Angie, Sloth, Con, Muffin: I can see that just about everyone had some kinds of issues with the blacks. I'll admit, I tried to do some drastic changes with them, and I guess it just didn't come out like I'd hoped. I'll certainly try harder on the next comic I do, and try to reign those things in. I probably reached a bit to far when trying out the new ink, so I'll try to pull back on it a bit and work to clean it up. Hopefully the nest comic will be better. Cherubas: I actually didn't even realize I was doing that. Thanks for letting me know. And hot damn, that is some insightful crit. Seriously, I'm taking all of that to heart. Anyway, thanks for the wonderful crits guys, and I really hope to give you guys something better to look at next time around. Also Thanan, I really loved your round. You seriously nailed Greg's personality. Like, spot on. And the wolf? Fan-freaking-tastic.

Shame, Greg got the wrong end of the stick in both fights... it's tough being a werewolf! Thanan > Great rendition of Greg in werewolf form, very mean-looking GPS > Nice touch with the ending, wasn't expecting that to be the outcome of the fight

Thanan-this was better than the last round, I think you're getting a better hang of things here. The action and shot choices were nice in this. I would like to see you continue working on your backgrounds, you're getting there and this is definitely better than the last around, but see if you can't push them a little further in the future. GPS-I think you had some good energy and expressiveness in here, but the black was a little much. I think if you bring the blacks back just a little it would help with your clarity a lot, because at the moment it's overpowering and muddy. One easy solution I see right away would be to make the borders of your panels thinner, but obviously there's more work to be done in the actual shading beyond just the borders.

Thanan: I like how clean your lines are. As a heads up, some people will complain about the line tool being used. They don't have a real reason, it just seems to be part of some religion here cause those same people will complain if your hand-made lines are squiggly, so just let that roll of your shoulders. I like your use of shading and such, but be careful with some of your poses. For instance, the punch delivered on page 4 looks awkward. The motion makes it look like it's a bit of a downward punch. Swing your fist and try to include that specific pose somewhere in your arc, it's likely to feel unnatural. Also, I think Greg should have reacted to it a bit more. If you're trying to show that it barely phased him, that's cool, but you should at least close his eye closest to the fist just so we get a sense of impact. Have him grit his teeth but smile, know what I mean? Also, the last page (which I'm guessing you made near the deadline, I've been there, believe me) would have been better if it was a bit more detailed. It's a dramatic splash page finale, so it should be made extra impressive, but it seemed a bit weaker than some of the other pagesOverall though, it was a good read. GPS: Your art has a dark, gritty feel to it. I like that you go out of your way for the little details and such. I like that you tried to add a sense of drama and urgency to Otis going for his sword, but I feel like you should have drawn it out a little longer. Between the time he spots his sword and the time he retrieves it is like 4 panels. I think you should have stretched it out over a page or so. Maybe he spots it, realizes he needs it, and the bottom of page 1 is a staredown between the two opponents, the calm before the storm. At the start of page 2 make it clear that both of them have broken into a full sprint and spend the page building the drama, ending the page with each inches away from their goal, or the black panel with the sound effect. Then page 3 is the reveal of what happened with Greg impaled. Also, try varying your angles a bit more. Almost all of your shots were the same distance from the character without dramatically raising or lowering the angle. Try some really far shots, extreme close-ups, overhead stuff, peeking-out-of-that-guy's-nostril-view, all sorts of stuff. Mix it up to keep it exciting. I'm not saying you can't use the same shot more than once, but it will benefit your comic and keep things entertaining to vary it. It will also help make things more clear, since you'll have a few wider shots so we know what more than one person is doing at a time (I have to make a conscious effort to vary my shots in my comics as well, so I can relate). Entertaining battle from both sides though. Well done, guys.

I did not see a single werewolf backflip. Not one. D: Thanan: Your lines are clean and clear, but I think you can work towards making your actions more dynamic and believable. Otis' punch is a step in the right direction, but I don't think it was entirely successful. The werewolf transformation scene, on the other hand, was phenomenal. Your use of darks and limited colour really pulls this entry through for me. Great stuff! GPS: I really liked the story, and a lot of the under-drawing looks really good - it's the inks that are throwing me off. You tried something different here, which I commend you for, but I don't think it was as successful as your previous comic, artistically. I look forward to seeing what you produce next, though! Once you master these inks, I think you'll be able to put up a heckuva fight!

Thanan: Nice clean work here! I think the addition of some movement lines or some more dynamic angles would help with showing the action scenes as seperated out a bit. For example, instead of the wolf saying that the sword extended, doing a shot of the sword being one length, same frame again but longer, then a dynamic angle of the sword stabbing Gregory while Otis is still obviously in the distance would show that it extended, rather than telling us it did. GPS, I had a super hard time following this entry. I like that you're trying to use more black, but I think it might be a little bit too much, or there is not enough clarity between the foreground and characters and the background. Cripsing up the lines on the characters before you add in the black so that they are very clear, and maintaining a white line between character and background might help out with this.

Thanan--Really awesome improvement on lines! That werewolf was insanely scary looking as well! It looks like you can still improve a lot though! GPS-Love the rough texture, but it loses a bit of clarity in some of the scenes. Maybe spend a little more time next time to make sure those darker panels are a bit more solid so you can easily see what's going on in them. The story was great though! Both were very cool in different ways!

Thanan. I. LOVE IT. I'lll be sure to say more once I get back from the dentist, but for now, I think that'll cover it.

this is awesome!

I BARELY MADE IT!!

75 minutes until werewolf backflips.

Aaaaaand, done.

There'd better be blood. Just saying.

What a perfect, perfect matchup. These dudes were made to slug it out, haha.

slothvert: Do not forget.... werewolf backflips. I'll try, but I make no promises

Do not forget.... werewolf backflips.

I am sooooooooo excite about this!

This looks like it will be fun!!

Now we're getting old school, gonna see some nice brawling out of this I hope. Maybe even see a full transformation of Greg, and some real usage of the sap from Otis. Got chills thinking about it. Good luck to both of you!