Thanks to everyone for their comments, support and advice. I'll be working on my bubbles, lines and such for the next battle!
Brian: Thanks for the compliments on my story telling! I'll be working on the nitpicks you pointed out with my lines and bubbles (deffo the bubbles, as i've had a few comments about them needing to be improved). Also, thank you for pointing out some issues with page 7 as I hadn't really thought about that too! Will try to improve on pages like that.
Zoey: You mention that my story was okay but "cliche", could you fill me in on what cliche please? Shame you found my comic boring but you can't win all the audience. Thanks for liking my trees, though.
thanks for the critiques i kno everything looks very wonky in between rushing to finish and not completely committing to at story i didnt out my best foot forward thanks for taking the time to leave a comment :)
Cult - you really have to work on your anatomy. I love the way you do cities (ala page two), but I had to stop reading after page two because I couldn't read your text.
Hats - Good lines, I am in love with your trees <3 The story was okay, a little cliche, so I found it a bit boring. The first page was really cool though :)
Cult: Your story was really creative, but very confusing. Perhaps it's because I haven't followed the other characters' stories too much, but I had no idea who Wiz saw on the very last panel. I'd say keep practicing your figures, they seem a bit stiff and somewhat elongated. If the elongation is what you're going for, then I'd say own it, and make it look like a deliberate choice, but still practice realistic anatomy on the side.
Hats: Storytelling was excellent, as were the inks, but I do have some nitpicks. Your bubble sizes varied in size a bit too much- particularly your 3rd page. The last bubble would've been just fine if it were the same size as the others. I also think you could have done a little more to separate Wiz from the background in that last panel, either through thicker lines or some white space around her- as it is, her body kinda blends in with the storefront. Also on page 7, the posing seems a bit flat. It might be the side-view perspective, or Killer Byte's casual pose, but the page seems like it has less dramatic power than the scene needs.
I really enjoyed reading these battles, and I can't wait to see more from both of you!
Don't sweat it Cult! it was fun never the less :D
Crackin': Thanks very much for the advice! I'll definately look into improving the line vairation and panelling. I'm also gonna be working on my backgrounds for the next comic and consistancy in size of bubbles. The dream sequence was supposed to be somewhat intended to be confusing, but I will try and make important parts clearer, like you pointed out.
Thanks!
thanks for the critique Crackin' yea this was def rushed i spent way too much time in the conception stage and over estimated my availibity but i tried to put somethin out
Thanks MHEP for the battle i know i promised you alot more but im still learning when it comes to working with dead lines
Cultmasterflex- though I did think you were on to something pretty neat story wise, your pages look pretty rushed. page three is way too blurry and could barely read what was going on. Did something happen when you scanned this? It could have helped if you maybe re-scanned the page or try to make it a bit clearer on PS. Artwise, I think your backgrounds and perspectives look nice. Page 5 I think instead of having panels of Wiz sitting there from a farther view, you could have zoomed in a bit more to show her expressions when time passed by and suddenly got interrupted when seeing killer byte in space. That's all I got for now, overall you were okay, good to see you battling again!
HATS- Good quality overall but a few things and probably nit picks when going into your artwork. third page, you have a lot of line thickness going on in the background, which blended with Wizz and her thought bubble too much. I got a bit confused was the first page where Wizz and Killer Byte are dreaming too. I do get that they're dreaming, but I didn't notice right away that they were two separate people that they were dreaming of. Your panels I think should be spaced a bit away from each other rather than just separating the two with one single black line, which I would apply with the first panel of the first page too. Other than that, overall good work. Can't wait to see where you take Wizzie next.
All uploaded! This was pretty much a 2 week drawing time for me because I had deadlines at college to be done for this Thursday and got the rest of the pages done over the weekend. Looking forward to this! :D
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