@Mister Kent Thank you. I wanted to give a sense that the place was mundane but still fantastical. What would you do with a airship? To move my stuff of course. Though I can say that I wish I could have made the angles better and a bit more impressive but I guess my mind wasn't really up for that. haha. Ever perpetual the study of the human body must be. I'll need to hit the sketch books again I guess. Well onward to more work and to build up my drawing chops on some jams. Thank you everyone for taking your time to read, critique, and vote on my work. This has been out of all my comics the highest and that fills me with renewed determination to make better ones. So rock on everyone and to the future adventures of David and the Entourage! :)

Ahh! The site swallowed up my comments. Things that could use work: I'd like to see a few more dynamic poses, and some of the anatomy was off--Arena being a particular example. Things I liked: Nice story, enjoyed the angles on the airship (especially the first 2 pages), and nice to see Entourage D'Arene's home base!

Always glad to help :D I was just happy you were able to accomplish your goal!

Thanks for the feedback guys! @ Kuro: Thanks for the feedback. You are always there to dish it no matter how it feels and that is great. I guess I was thinking too much on the flying car aspect of it instead of the confining nature of a vehicle. As far as layouts go, yeah I can agree the shots are kind of boring but as far as two guys talking I guess it would be kind of boring or given that, I think I maybe not have been very inspired with the layouts to begin with. I am always working on that and hope to rectify it with a clearer vision of what i want to accomplish when it comes around to the next comic. Also, being first attempt at making speech bubbles in a full comic I didn't really know how much I could have gotten away with as far as how much a person can see at 800 pixels wide. I will have much to consider as I try it again in the future when attempting it again. @ Pyras: Thank you, this will definitely be the bar from now on and it is a rather low bar even from my perspective. I felt this was pretty empty as well. Come next comic and other future works I need to focus more on economical layouts of panels as I said. Working from full script to this, the layouts lost a bit of fluidity as I went. Thank you everyone for your votes so far. While they may not be astronomical they are what is right for a middle of the road work, and I can admit this is as such. I see it as a proof of concept that I can actually make a comic, and I hope it is nothing but up from here on out. I would like to thank Angieness for taking me on as her first Bootcamp trail and I can say that it is defiantly a well worth effort if you are having trouble with deadlines and structuring your 1 to 4 week battles. It will be challenging and a step up for pace but if you want to make a comic it will be the kick in the pants you need. I can now say that this has given me great insight into what is needed to make a comic and I will take what I have learned and apply it so that i may make ever better comics. :)

Hey, it's great to finally see a finished product from you :) You have a long way to go but you've hit a real milestone here. Now you just need to keep to this standard and build up from it, never dropping if you can help it. One note I can give you is to work on your shading, and try to fill the panels more without of course cluttering.

Primarily? I say first thing is first, work on & vary up your angles. There are shots of your character & Leland that look like they could be the same thing just flipped horizontally. Almost everything is a three quarter view (case in point the thumbs up top) & it gets pretty monotonous seeing the same thing. Perspective's wonky at times too. In the first panel, with the house, it doesn't seem to actually follow any perspective, just fall diagonally to give us that impression. Other times, like in the cabin of their air car or whatever, it looks expansive when it feels like it should be quite cramped. Work on getting your perspective & composition to work more in harmony. And the text was huge. That was page real estate that could've been allocated better for more art.

Can't wait! I've been looking forward to more from you Orion.

The_BenT_One: Good luck dude! I hope Angie's really squeezing some gold out of you. We're certainly trying! Orion is on the last of his mini deadlines so here's to hoping he makes it to the finish line!

Thank you very much. It is already going quite swimmingly.

Good luck dude! I hope Angie's really squeezing some gold out of you.