Having the balloon cursors go straight into their mouths isn't something you want to do. A) It gets in the way & B) it looks way too regurgatory. As far as handwriting goes, I'd recommend going bigger & sticking to all caps. They come across a little clearer sometimes. Ultimately though, the way you paced this gave you a HUGE amount of text in your balloons it felt, & it was feeling too wordy. Either stretch out the text over more comics or learn to edit more effectively.
And while you did better than Bartin in handing something in, we didn't even really officially get to see his character yet, right? That's kind of the only requirement to battling.
The grammar isn't that good, so coupled up with that hand writing it just hurts my head. The first page had too much text so I honestly didn't bother reading it all because I didn't find it appealing. The word bubble style is interesting, I like it.
At first I thought it was the guy in the chair leading the kid on page 3, but then realized it was the assistant instead. They look a bit too similar so I suggest character redesigning to make it more obvious which character has rank and which one is the follower.
I would like to see the rest of the pages if you happen to get those up too, some time. :)
The_BenT_One:
I'm not too crazy about the word balloons going straight into the characters' mouths.#
its an interesting idea, kinda like the words are attatched to their mouths, or ghosts coming out or something, but its a bit sporadic in the comic
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