This is hands down one of the best comics I've read on this site, I've only got a few points beyond what's already been raised. This was professional quality, and better then some published comics I've
Page 15, the shot doesn't feel as dynamic as it could be. The point of impact is hidden behind Haruhi's legs, and Angela doesn't express the motion you would assume with the sudden flanking attack although lining up the characters like that gave it some good flow.
A fantastic bout! Hope to see more.
Thresher
Michael I will be in Cbus from 17th-27th you should teach me perspective when I show up...Im well aware my BGs are shit...and need oads of work..
I dont necessarily wanna work for the big three but I dont wanna suck
Michael haha yeah we were gonna have the roll call. It's probably not totally realistic that Harahi would just not know the whole time. I tried to use color to separate objects which worked in the outdoor scenes and stuff but yeah, especially with Harahi's skin tone it was a problem in the classroom scenes since a lot of stuff is so orange. Thanks for the comment!
And thanks everyone who read and enjoyed this!
Angie
I would try to use color to separate foreground, middleground, and background elements, either by darkening items in the background or graying them a bit. The dot pattern tone you use is fine, but it is so consistent that it flattens the image. For the most part it just seems like a texture that is laid on top of the image, and doesn't interact with it. Perhaps if the dots changed sizes or faded in and out more it would be a better interaction with the scene.
On a story note(I don't know who wrote it) They would probably call roll at school, during which Harahi would learn Angie's name. A psycho stalker would definitely find out the name of her prey and thusly, the sex. The story still works with Harahi knowing she's a girl, but I just don't buy that Harahi wouldn't have figure out Angie's name or sex.
Dave: I do believe this is the first thing I have seen you put a little effort into something. My main problem is that you don't pay enough attention to the size of your environments in relation to your people. There are lot of perspective problems as well.
On page 3 in the window panel for example, windows with multiple panes like that usually have equal sized panes. The wood between the panels is also a bit smaller than it should. The window also looks like it doesnt have the same vanishing point as the door behind it. The people furthest away from us are either in a hole or very short, the desk is hitting them at the upper chest. The desk is also blocking the door. In the next panel you have the characters arranged
Frank Harahi
in the next panel its
Harahi Frank Angie.
which means Frank and Harahi switched seats. Apparently Angie's desk is also facing skew to everyone else's. On page four the height of the ceiling is about four feet. The rest of the comic has people being too big/small for environments and perspective errors. If you want more examples let me know. I know a lot of people will gloss over these, but if you really want to work for the bigger companies you'll need to learn how to properly fit people in space.
oh alright XD
Actually from the last shot I had gotten the impression that she was going to have a murderous grudge against Julia, not that she was now targeting her as a mate.
But it's all cleared up now
PyrasTerran:
Amazing, but question:
Didn't she realize in the last 2 pages that Angie's a girl? I had thought that realization would spark some kind of reaction
Yeah I think it's page 5 where she was supposed to realize she was a girl. I drew angie in too much shadow...cuz I loves black! so her boob is hangin out but you can't really tell so we just scrapped that. But yeah Harahi totally is bi
In the original script she was actually supposed to realize it when Angie was killing the thing in the alley because Angie was going to turn to her and her shirt was going to be somewhat ripped up. When the scene actually got drawn out it wasn't really clear so that got dropped. But yeah to answer the question, she probably did notice at some point haha. But considering in the last page Harahi decides to focus on Julia instead, she doesn't seem to be the type that really cares what gender she's chasing.
And thanks guys! David and I are doing a lot of pro work together so you'll be seeing us teamed up lots more in the future in print I hope :D
I just read it and it's pure awesome XD
Battles like that makes me want to draw XD
Artwise it was so clean that I could focus on the story without breaking the immersion. Half way through I checked how many pages were still up there because I didn't want it to end too soon, and at the end I already was into "to be continued" XD
Thanks guys :D I figured I'd try something different with the colors, I've never played with a chalk brush before so it was a lot of fun. Glad you guys enjoyed the comic!
And it's okay Zsa, I don't think any of us want to really understand Harahi's mindset on that last page.
I can't say how much this makes me happy inside.
First off, the inking is spectacular. I love the mix of realistic figures and the super fast expressive line quality.
As usual, the colors are professional. Hell, this WHOLE COMIC is professional.
keep it up, both of you.
This is some of the most refined works I've seen from David, and yet another awesome take on a different style of coloring Angie has done, making some crazy sweet combo!
Love the many palletes, the art style chosen, and specially all the sexiness, haha. You draw women like noone!
The story itself was pretty slick, though I'm not sure I understand the last page!
And it's up! When David and I initially thought up this comic it was supposed to be a cute little high school romance kind of thing. I'm not sure what happened.
Ignore the deadline, this will probably be up today or tomorrow since we're just about done. I just had the deadline as filler since I wasn't sure the exact day.
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