I was probably rushing because I didn't even get to finish the last 4 pages........ XD

Kars- You're improving every fight. Keep at it, it's starting to come together a little bit at a time. You keep hearing it, I know... that your stuff still looks too empty, but it really does.. Spot blacking is good, I saw you tried out some on page 3.. but then you kinda gave it up, and if you're gonna do spot blacks, no sketchy, sloppy blacks! Fill that junk in! Solid! Page 3 the silloettes and shadows and fills? Lay that solid! Black, black! No spaces. No sketchiness. Then, if you want.. add some shade or lines or crosshatch to it. I Like how you're progressing though. Best comic from you yet. Pyras- Your stuff looks pretty empty too, and you're trying to hide it with grey but it's not really working, it still looks really empty. You need some line width! The perspective in all your backgrounds (what few there were) is really weird. Even when there are backgrounds it seems empty & flat. Color hints were pretty cool throughout. Page 5 panel one was sweet, and page 9 looked really good... but otherwise, I feel you're rushing. Slow down! Get away from the computer some, work traditional maybe, and SLOW DOWN. Less pages. More quality. Keep at it though, and polish that stuff up. You do have a lot of potential art wise.

a trade, eh? XD

That was a nice collaborative story - good effort, you two! TDK - I definitely see improvements in your art. I think your biggest success in this comic was giving the characters personality. Kars especially - it can't be easy to make a relatively featureless skull so charismatic, but you did (Pyras as well!) I'd like to see you work on anatomy in future comics, and really refine Kars' costume, as well - sometimes it doesn't look "all there" - it's a great costume, so I'd like to see it look really 3-dimensional. Pyras - I enjoyed your storytelling, and the way you worked in Koba and the Orphanage in. I like seeing your color pieces - makes me want more more more COLOR! I'm not one to talk, but I'd like to see you color more. But that's because you're good at it and I'm greedy. Also, I think it would help in certain battles, such as this one. Good work though

I love both comics, and the history was quite good tdk: the finger joke is quite known and I laugh a little when Arena don't fell in it, your background still being quite poor, but in some frames are many things with many details, and the inking is bad, it seems like you do it quickly and with no care, also some of it qet out of the frames, like in page 2, I love the face of Kars in page 7 frame 6, it's lovely, I also like the sailor shirt and the face of arena trying to run from the clothes, jejeje, keep trying your best Pyras: lovely drawing and shading, but whart happens with the last 4 pages!? it seems the time wasn't enough, also I love the color you put on the powers or the lights of the weapon of the other guy with Koba. also good thing is the diferent type of letter or colour in each character bubble, I love how it ends, Kars fighting the two guys and arena crying out of danger, I was wanting to cry, but its really lovely good work you 2

You get what you give. I'll crit you guys if you crit our battle.

Just 1 critique? :(

The finger joke wasn't too lame, right? Right?

The finger joke wasn't too lame, right? Right?

Kuma's head was actually bigger in the 1st page, and I shrank it thinking it was such! XD

Don't bother looking for typos with Koba, and only one character has all the typos. William, concerning page 6(4/13) are you talking about layout of the panels? It didn't seem to be in reverse when I read it, then again I made it..

Alright Pyro, this was a pretty good comic, nicely paced, dialogue wasn't bad and the characterizations were pretty on mark. I'm tickled pink by the inclusion of the Orphanage. Sweet deal. But you do suffer from some bad habits here and there. Most of them take place with Kuma and the way he's drawn. He just has some wierd anatomical issues here and there and general inconsistencies. The biggest example being his first appearance where I'm not sure if his head is too big or his chest too small. Funny enough, I believe your female anatomy is much stronger than your male anatomy. Something to think about. And page 6, which you labelled 4/13, the bottom half of the page, the flow of action doesn't make sense as if we suddenly switched to manga and are reading in reverse. Ah, kinda odd. I'm not gonna fault you for the last three pages being 'unfinished' because they're pretty much done just lacking your usual greys. Arena is fun to follow though keep it up. Ah and I guess I know which three typos you speak of, but it's not much fun if I point it out, but I assume the ones I'm looking at are each in one instance with Koba, Kars and Arena.

You didn't miss it, that's a mystery for another comic. :X

tdk, I can see you actually pushing yourself a bit, though the changes are minor I believe I can see the signs of effort showing through. It's good that you're pushing yourself to add details, albeit little ones to your backgrounds (ah backgrounds are my bane, I still need to practice those too) but again, more shadowing, more blacks, you have some but it's minimalist and it becomes a sort of 'Where's Waldo' kinda thing when looking for where you've added shading. Again, push it and add it to some of the basic places where one would find it, like for me the most obvious place would be under the chin on the neck, like Arena could use a shadow here and there. Also you need some variety on your line widths, Kure's got an interesting tutorial where he addresses this in one section: http://entervoid.com/board/index.php?topic=9968.0 So check that out, line width is cool. But if you don't wanna add the blacks then my recommendation would be to add greys. Start out little if you don't wanna go overboard but add some grey shapes here and there while remembering to following the contour of the shape you're shading. But keep it up man and keep practicing. And I'll do Arena's side next but just one question, maybe I missed this somewhere... When did Arena learn to speak English?

In the horde of intentional typos, there are 3 unintentional ones. can you spot them?

tdk: At first I was like :|...... but then, I lol'd :D that was really funny, great job!

I hope when people see 'makeup', they know I'm not talking about cosmetics XD

Uploaded. I have many regrets. :(

Uploaded. I have no regrets.

When it doubt, fill it out! I think the biggest problem your comics has is that they feel like coloring book pages: If you don't want to dive into color then at least fill the spaces with different shades of grey. :)

I actually finished early. For once. Now I just gotta figure out how to get rid of all that "white space."

Looking forward to this one.

Good luck you two.

Looking foroward to it. Good luck XD

TDK, LET'S SEE LESS WHITE SPACE!! PYRAS, LET'S SEE SOME KICK ASS GLOWING MASK HOLES! ;) have fun dudes!