solid works from both of you!
nachte, i love the colors and the painted feel, but i think it's time to refine this style you're working in. more consistency in people, proportions, and perspective; these are the tenets of style. you've got nice pacing to your story, it really spins the narrative well. looking forward to part 2!
drastic, i love the color toning on the cover. please do more of that! the comic itself was pretty solid overall, really nice stylings. i think you might want to reconsider shading only one lens of vivian's glasses, it's a neat trick but i thought it was a little distracting (just a nitpick). not much else to say, you did great! time to push your boundaries more and start trying new things!
Nachte, I'm a fan of Mckenzie and I find it a pleasure to read a comic with him in it, the looseness can work but I'm afraid it doesn't work so much in this instance. I don't really like seeing those guidelines on McKenzie sometimes. I really like page 5, the way it's set up and the colors. I don't really like the neon-ish colors present here sometimes. I understand trying to be true to Vivian's design but the shockingly aquamarine hair is just kinda too distracting and a stark contrast to the rest of the color scheme. Like page 6 which has a shot of her hair is so very distracting to the page. But I'm interested in knowing McKenzie's history and seeing what else you're going to offer to us.
Drastic, there's just not much for me to say. I could scour it over and over and look for something nasty to say but it's unnecessary. This was excellent. Some of the jokes have been done before but you implemented them really well and made them relevant to the comic. I laughed out loud when McKenzie stumbled off in a drunken stupor. So now you're the talk of the town. Live it up.
Nachte, I didn't mind the loose quality of the art but it looked bad on the balloons. Story was getting interesting I am looking forward to the next. To be cont. is OK to me, but a bit more progression before the tbc, or some sort of payoff to tide us over til the next would be nice, like a little more of Mckenzie and the girls relationship to make us care more about their love. The more completed colored sections were looking really nice and I'm excited to see more color comics from you.
Drastic, yours was extra great, you just killed this shit man. Kickass cover. I am in awe because of how nicely you pulled in other players from VOID to tell your story, plus the style is very nice, good use of the tones and I liked the gradient effect in dramatic panels. Just overall a great attention to detail that I am jealous of and I can just feel the love you put into this. or.... see it I guess? Plus the jokes were funny as hell to me, that shit was on point but not offensive just for the hell of it. One thing I would like to see is you play around with more face shapes and body types, you get a great range of expressions/personalities in your figures and crowds, but you need like some more fatties in there or something, different types of noses too.
Now that is being super fucken picky, it's just the only thing I imagine that could make this awesome comic even better.
THUMBS UP DUDES.
nachte, i liked the city shot, but the art felt inconsistent in where it was loose which just made it feel rushed & the story didn't really hold my attention. everything just kind of felt middle of the road & plain. also, pay attention to scale in your bgs. the panel where you show your character sitting at a kitchen table makes him look like he's a kid sitting at a kiddie table.
drastic, excellent use of that 4 weeks. this turned out tight. i have no real complaints. and i lawled, which only a few creators on here can get me to do. nice work.
I actually enjoyed Nachte's emotive paneling and pacing A LOT. Reminds me of movies like Capote and such.
Drastic did well on humor and execution.The Christianity comment (though sadly true in some cases) is always somewhat uneasy to accept...usually the ones guilty of said statement.
Brilliantik, you've made it VERY hard for me to dislike your comic and you know why :D
I'm a big fan of both characters for different reasons, but I think Brilliantik's comic here is the superior and it has nothing to do with the nods to my work.
Nachte, the only real problem I have with yours is that it doesn't accomplish much, it teases us with hints at McKenzie's past but I don't feel that enough is revealed to be considered a solid Part 1 of a story. It feels like the 1st 3 minutes of any television episode, and there isn't enough from such little closure to keep satisfied.. the intention I'm assuming is to build hype for the next act, but because so little was given in this piece of the story it has the opposite effect, without enough material to attach to I feel detached as a result, and if I weren't a fan of the character I wouldn't really care about what happens in the next act.
This is why I feel Brilliantik's wins this round; it's a full and satisfying story from beginning to end, and even adds relevance to current events in Void which allows for further attachment from readers.
Nachte, there's a giant difference between loose and sloppy. This felt like a giant step backwards in your linework, colouring, composition, storytelling, writing, and generally everything. I dunno what happened, but the story is bland to the point of non-existence and loaded with boring cliches, poor writing, and a total lack of any detail whatsoever. I really didn't enjoy anything about this comic. Bad form.
Toxic-Total opposite. This was easily one of the best comics I've seen on this site. You managed to successfully use a fairly cliched plot device to great effect, the artwork was great, the writing was well-done. You didn't overstretch yourself in either department, but still showed great improvement. Well done.
Nachte - I agree with anginess (not only at this point), you are good at camera angles and pacing. Several faces and face expressions of Mckenzie pleased me a lot and I really wish whole of your comic could have this quality. The way you introduced the recording studio appealed to me. More appealing it could be if you augmented the single panels and used a bit less white space (hope thats the right translation). There is a lot of potential in your pages which could be tapped by anatomy and perspective training. Your story of Father Mckenzie wakened my courisity of how it would end, but I think you could have told his story in shorter panels to tell more of it, now you cutted the story at the point it got really interesting.
DrasticFantastic - You get an A+ for your introducing Page, it's humorous and saucy and got the point of your comic. The story was entertaining and your panelling was well chosen.I had some difficultys to remember the change of scenery on page 2, maybe you could have added a full view shot of the scenery to clear this. Honestly there are less things I have to review, your comic appeared to me coherent and beautiful designed and drawn (except some minor perspective misstakes). One thing that you could reconsider is the way you illustrate Vivians glasses. I know you want to make it to look like reflective glass but it looks rather than broken Glass parts in my eyes. Maybe it helps to show it with some transparency like on page one on the left eye. It would also help if you used it a bit more economical, that would give it more effect.
Reading both of your comics was a lot of fun and I enjoyed every page, I'm looking forward to your to-be comics.
(I excuse if there is anything unknowable, I tried my best to translate my reviews :/ if there is anything blurry please ask, I don't meant to affront or harm anyone )
Nachte-I think you're advancing nicely as a colorist, but I think it probably could have helped you finish had you just gone with a black and white entry. But nonetheless you have a nice comic despite the unfinished nature of it. You have a good eye for camera angles as well as pacing. I think the only thing that bothered me color wise was how intensely bright Vivian's hair was, it's sitting on the edge of being over saturated. I wish you could have done a little more with the story, but I'm interested in hearing the end of McKenzie's story, it's just always a tease to cut off at a place like that.
Drasticfantastic-you have a lot of improvement here! I was impressed with how tight your lineart had gotten and the toning was very nice. I would have liked to see the style of shading you used on Vivian's hair occur in other areas, but that's more of a personal preference. One thing to watch out for is you're kind of inconsistent with Vivian's body type. Like the first and second to the last panels of page 1 she's pretty small there, then on the last panel of page 5 and first of page 7 her hips are suddenly super super wide. The exaggerated hips are fine, just make sure they're consistent so it doesn't look like she gained 20 pounds between each panel.
I really enjoyed the story, it was paced well and you have a great sense of humor. Much love for the character cameos, the abortion thing gave me a good laugh considering Angie's history on Void. I thought the story was pretty well executed, I do expect at least one person to get offended but it personally didn't bother me.
Keep up the good work you two!
I like how one comic is serious, the other is comedic, but they both get a sense of the other character. Match-ups like these are fun.
toothpick: This read much better than the Bat battle; I didn't feel like I was reading panels out of order because the dialogue didn't seem to flow right or whatevers. I liked the drunk Father McKenzie and Casimir appearance. xD The AngiexJulie cameo kind of pulled me out of it, though. Like one panel of them after Viv points out the "gay couple" would've been enough to get the joke, the two panels after that feels filler-ish.
nachte: I think pages 1&2 are out of order? D: I like the colors... the difference between the dull flashback palette and the warmer/more intense colors of the present is very nice, I think. Only complaint I can tell is the coloring of Vivian's hair makes it looks like she has dark blue streaks.
I thought both comics were very entertaining, and both utilized the characters very well. DrasticFantastic was kinda harsh on the Christians though! Kinda wished Casimir kicked her ass!!
Gotta concur with Pyras here, especially that last comic Drastic pulled I am pretty well hyped!
Father McKenzie is also always a pleasure to see in action. Bust some shit up you two!
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