so young so angry....:3 i wasn't here to see the first 1 panel page joke so i have no clue what its about but it shouldn't be just because 2 people drew a comic one way means no one else can do it like that. i mean these weren't omg spectacular but the artists tried something new to them and went with it. don't hate for the reuse. As for the comics it looks like you both took your time on the details and coloring to make up for the panels, it looks like a lot of improvement from what ive seen. Rofls did have a more understandable plot but that's probably because i don't know any of the internet jokes/fads. RJ yours has very clean art. I mean look at what you first started out with on void. very good improvements i say. Rofl you look as though you've improved a lot as well Basic and easy on the eyes. :3 i say nice work to you both.
As backwards as Rofl's comic was better. I think the art was stronger and the joke was superior. RJ's art was flat, the coloring seemed undeveloped. I also think genitals/boobs as a punchline is an incredibly weak comic joke most of the time. I think the rare successes in the field of lewd punchlines are comics like oglaf and sexy losers. It's like you couldn't figure out an ending. Rofl did a similar content in that his joke was sexual, but the whole comic worked on setting up his vibrator gag. Yours was sort of... action... action.... penis.
As backwards as Rofl's comic was better. I think the art was stronger and the joke was superior. RJ's art was flat, the coloring seemed undeveloped. I also think genitals/boobs as a punchline is an incredibly weak comic joke most of the time. I think the rare successes in the field of lewd punchlines are comics like oglaf and sexy losers. It's like you couldn't figure out an ending. Rofl did a similar content in that his joke was sexual, but the whole comic worked on setting up his vibrator gag. Yours was sort of... action... action.... penis.
Theeeese sucked pretty badly. The three page/one panel joke is really only funny when Hiemie and Pong do it, it was funny the first time because it hadn't been done before and was a sneaky way of working within the rules, and was funny the second time because it was a year later and a revival of the same idea. But the BIGGEST difference between those comics and these was that those were good, and these weren't. They treated them the same as any other comic in attention paid. You really had no excuse for using the panel-per-page format here. That format really only works when it's part of the joke. Here it worked negatively because it made you two look like biters, and it was apparently reason enough for Terry to slack off and submit doodles. In the time given you both were well capable of doing multiple strips, which following the page-per-panel format would have still been funny, but instead you ripped off another joke instead of taking an opportunity to expand upon it. Rofl, the art wasn't bad, the joke was a total stretch and not worthwhile, but I do really wish you'd done more strips. Terry, this was shit. Plain and simple.
Phillip C:
Looks like a very painful toy to have if you ask me.
Well, I suppose if YOU used it, it probably would, considering guys aren't usually meant to use vibrators to my knowledge.
I think I'll join in the assholishness of the moment and critique.
Roflqu: I'm glad to see something from ya dude instead of nothing, but I think you should of put more effort into this as well. 3 panel comics aren't the type of thing I associate with top quality artwork, but it doesn't mean that they can't have that extra bit of work put into them. You should always try to push yourself with your work. The joke here honestly made me chuckle for a bit, but I honestly don't get it, is there sex toys that look just like that? Looks like a very painful toy to have if you ask me.
Art is a bore, and the joke isn't very funny if you ask me.
RabbitJunk: It's nice to see you back and making more comics, but again agreeing with Angie here, this could of been a lot better. Your quality is the better of the two, but you should try to push yourself further in the next battle if you can. I thought the joke was structured very well between you two, but I think yours pushes the joke a bit further. However... did you really have to go to that extreme for a joke? I've got no true qualms against dick jokes, but I sorta feel like that type of humor is way too easy to write in, if you understand what I'm getting at here.
To be honest, I sorta felt that both jokes between these two comics were pretty tasteless and weren't very well thought out, but I'm going to side with Rabbit on this one.
Angie. That's not a critique. You wrote four paragraphs that all say "spend more time on your art"....
While I do agree that these could have been a little more polished... there's really only so much time you can dedicate to something like this. If Gary Larson spent 20 years drawing one Far Side panel - it would likely be better than the ones he spent 20 minutes drawing - but it wouldn't be so much better as to justify the time spend.
You've got to keep in mind when you're limiting your output to three panels, you're playing a game with diminishing returns. It's only worthwhile to put so much effort into it.
And while you could say that so and so is capable of better, by that line of logic, these are also great because neither of them defaulted.
That being said...
Rofl: This is really a very interesting approach to a three panel comic, because there's a single joke that runs through all the panels, and no punchline. Typically you'd deliver a punchline on the last panel, but you just offer an explanation, background info that sheds light on the previous panels. Which is essentially backwards from typical joke telling, where you offer the set up first then build to the joke. It's a very understated, but still absurd presentation of humor.
RJ: Yours is the more traditional approach, we get a set up, and then the high point of the humor/absurdity is presented at the end of the comic. You combined shock humor, visual puns, and non sequitur absurdity. It's funny - but it's still not quite over the top enough for this approach. You could have added action lines or a sound effect on the last panel to raise the impact.
Both: Since you're working in the context of one isolate panel at a time, you're free to play around with your format. Changing the size and shape of the panel can impact the presentation of your comic. Both of these didn't really seem to show any consideration for this. But it's something to think about for future comics if you're going to make another three panel match.
Well I was going to leave a retarded one shot comment, but I'll just go with Angie and throw some crit bits too.
Roflqu -
Pros: The joke was pretty clever, and one of the few things that made me giggle out loud, and you're getting better at drawing female faces and expressions. I am borderline about the framework/panels though. While it does look a little sloppy from the colors drifting off, at the same time I feel these also play well with your style too. I think with enough practice and even making them thicker, these kinds of panels will work more in your favor in future comics.
Cons: Clean up issues all around. The coloring looks rushed, especially in the first page. Colors and inkwork running off the frame also takes away from the quality a bit. You still need to keep watch on your backgrounds and force yourself down to use a ruler more. I know you wanted to keep it simple, and I wouldn't expect you to do something batshit crazy intricate, but even simple things need to have proper structure.
RJ -
Pros: First of all, WELCOME BACK WHOA, IT'S ABOUT FUCKING TIME!
Now, secondly, in comparison to your last battles you have stepped up on quality big time. Your experimentation and practice really paid off in the end. Beautiful and vibrant colors going on here, especially in the first and last page. While Eric's joke was clever in it's own right, you took 'perverted' to a whole new level and dove right into shock value at the end.
Cons - Not too much I can say because you had to redo the last two pages. I guess the only thing I can say is work it up with some more elements with backgrounds and textures. The window frame in the first page looks pretty flat. Different line widths would've helped make it more structured, and maybe doing some small texture bits on the walls wouldn't hurt either.
I guess it's really hard to pull any cons for these comics on both ends in regards to background work in some of the panels, because it's obvious that both artists wanted to keep focus on the characters as opposed to the details behind them.
I think you both did fairly well in terms of 'adult' entertainment, quality was a little rickety here and there, and creativity was...well....fuck. I will never view Jiggily Puff or Ditto the same way again!
Okay since no one else is doing it, I'm going to be the douchebag that gets to be the only person that bothers to critique I guess. No matter how funny you find something you can still critique it. Even if both sides only did a panel per page you should still critique it. So yeah come on guys.
I will address you both as one unit as you both pretty much did the same thing and had similar issues. I'll start off by saying that I'm glad both of you chose to go with something so short and sweet for the drawing time you had. It's all too often that people want to do 50 page epics when they have a week to draw it. So I think the whole 1 panel per page thing is great for that. But I felt that both of you could have done a lot more. Rofl I know that you turned this in 1-2 days into the deadline and I know that RJ had technical problems so she had to rush two of the pages.
But nonetheless, both of you could have spent a lot more time on these. I have seen both of you churn out significantly higher quality stuff in work outside of Void (exhibit A http://i36.tinypic.com/23lxr4o.jpg roflqu) which is why this is kind of disappointing. You guys had 3 panels that you could have really done something awesome with. And no, I'm not an asshole who didn't find either of them funny, I found them both funny in their own way. But artistically both of you had very rough lineart and rushed coloring and I know you both could have done something that looks more polished and complete.
I know that the stories are silly and were just meant to be jokes so they aren't really meant to be works of art or anything, but I think you guys should at least push yourselves harder because I know you can both artistically do better than this. If you are going to limit yourselves to only doing 3 panels, I expect to see much better quality since you have much more time to really churn out something amazing.
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