Fern-I'm assuming stuff came up since you had to use an extension, there's really not much I can say since I can't really read the comic. Mister Kent-I agree with what the others have said about the lack of linewidths. While you can mostly get away with it where you have color, it's never a bad idea to have it regardless of having color or not so you can give your work more depth. You had some cool things going on with the color in the first few pages, it's a shame you weren't able to experiment with it throughout the entire battle. One thing I noticed was aside from the linewidths, your stuff can occasionally be flat. Like on any quarter view shots of the characters, their eyes don't really go back into space, it looks more like they're just eyes for full frontal views so it can look very wonky like on page 13 second panel Angie's face. I disagree about the comic seeming too long, since you managed to hold my attention throughout the whole thing I didn't really mind the length. As long as you can manage to be consistently entertaining throughout the comic, having a lot of pages won't ever be a hindrance. I would have liked to see you do a bit more with blacks so pages with backgrounds wouldn't feel so empty. You have a very good design sense so I'm sure you can think of ways to use blacks in interesting ways like you did on page 15. Overall it was a fun comic that I enjoyed reading, you just need more depth and less negative space in your work.

I don't really have a lot to say. It seemed like the story went on a lot longer than it needed to. All of your characters are viewed directly from the front or the side. I would suggest trying a few worms eye views and bird's eye views.

I ain't seen an ass whoopin this bad in a long time...

Thanks for the crits! Still having some problems (backgrounds and linesesses) but I'm working over-time on that for my next comic - you'll see :) But I'm always glad to know what y'all think And also I think I kinda liked a lot of the black-and-white pages more than the color ones, too. My next comic will probably be B&W!

Fern: Yeah, I think we were all pretty confused by what you were aiming for here, the art was too messy to really understand what was happening. As other have said the style could have worked if you polished up more. I was thinking this was a "Snow White" type of story, but I'm still confused at what happened. Better luck on the next one~ Kent: I thought this was a really fun read, funny and creative. The story flowed rather nicely and I really like the end, the water gun part had me laughing. I agree that your figures are looking flat, more line variation, would help you out a ton. Backgrounds, I felt, were also lacking, there could have been a bit more in some pages. I still liked where you went with this and think you did a really nice job. Keep this up, man! Also thanks a lot for the cameo, it made me happy :D

Epic Win Kent...solid work my only problem is the inconsistency with the art it got rushed towards the end, I would actually say I enjoyed the BnW pages more than the coloured ones. Keep the good work! Fern: I'm not what this was...I looked at it 3 times and I still have no idea...

i havent got to read fully but Kent the Scheduler cameo was AWESOME!!! i love you lol no homo

Fern: I'm not exactly sure what you were going for here. I'm not really sure if I got it, it was confusing and seemed to end abruptly. I can't really say much about it. I liked where you were going with the art though, it was interesting and it was perfect for making objects look more intense, like on page 2 with the apple or fruit thing, or whatever it was. and I agree with Will, the style would look real nice if it was more cleaned up and tightened. Other than that, I don't have much to say. Keep experimenting :3 Kent: AAaahhhhh I loved his immensely <3 It was real clever and just so much fun! I was hesitant to read it at first, with all the pages you had, but once I started it was so easy to follow and it flowed perfectly for me, and I really wanted to get to the ending. The few little gags you scattered in there were great, I just really liked this. Looks like your faces are looking a bit more real, there were several faces I stared at for a long time because I liked how they were drawn. But I have to agree with Will again that your art is looking flat, and I think I know why. You need more line variation! Everything was draw with the same line width and that causes things to look real flat. You did have different line widths within the COMIC, but you need different widths within the FIGURES. Like, for example, drawing the eyes and lips with thin lines while having the outline of the face with a line that's a bit thicker. Also, the lines should be darker and thicker with the objects that are closer to you. Take page 10 for example. Scur Crow's leg is coming at us, so his left leg should have been drawn with thicker lines. Angie and TLBot should be drawn in thinner lines. Just remember and practice that and I'm sure you'll be fine. Also backgrounds~~! We hardly saw any! Fill those in, Hon! D: It would make things look so nice, i promise! Other than that, I liked the espressions you used and overall this was great. Keep it up! :D

asdl;fkjsdf oh my god, that was so awesome Kent, you made my day... NO, MADE MY ENTIRE LIFE.

I was trying to think about it, what bothered me about your art Mister Kent. I don't mean this in any offensive way I just couldn't put it into words (really, my greatest obstacle always) but I think I've narrowed it down. Most things in your world are flat. I think it would be interesting if you tried shading or texture or something. You do it sometimes and I think it works well. I think the best example is Angie's transformation page, this is the best image I think in the comic, there is depth to it, introduced by the angry wrinkles on her face. And you do line variation sometimes but not often enough. Also proportions need work here and there, I noticed that angie's proportions weren't any different from Scurcrow's at one point. Otherwise I love the story, I am always pleased by variations and reimaginings of old favorites. Haha I really like that girl at the beginning with the short green hair, she was awesome. And I think you played the character's personalities very well. Fern, yours was hard to follow. I sense a snow white theme but it's confusing. The style you used here, while quick and sketchy, I believe it can work if polished up a slight bit more. I've seen it work, I'm sure. Not sure what difficulties you ran into, but better luck next time.

What a fun, nostalgic story. :D

Thank *you*, Angie!

I'll give you guys a nice proper critique later after work but thank you for including Angie in that Kent :D

:(

You're right ;)

This battle looks like it'll be great!

JANE BLONDE YES!!! Good luck you two! I'm looking forward to this

I can't wait to see this! X3 I think it's going to be awesome! I like both of you guys' sense of humor, so it might be hard for me to vote ;_; You both better rock hard!

Will do! :D

Looking forward to it. You two are both hustlin out there. Try to stretch yourselves out of your comfort zones on this one.

Ha ha hah! This should be sweet!