Waugh, late comment~~
Gorgeous artwork, compelling story, and superb effort. It's as if everything you touch turns to gold. XD
You make such great use of your tools to get your story and your characters across. There's only ONE you haven't seemed to touch yet: paneling. It's very readable as it is, but your page layout is a giant, heavy block. It definitely works to convey the claustrophobia of Angie's life in captivity, but you can add a lot of expressiveness and movement by playing with panel shape and space between panels some more, should you ever choose to make use of a more open, easier-to-breathe atmosphere. That's sort of a nitpick, though.
To me, angie, you exemplify the very essence of Void. Like, not only are you always there with well-thought-out critique and such, but you also back your shit up with awesomeness like this here. And if you ever DO make a book, I'll totally buy one too. :3
I'm in college and really had no intent of pursuing comics for a living which is why I haven't put any projects together outside the site. I'm going to school to be an art teacher and if I do any comics, they'll most likely be on the side since I really doubt I can make a living off my work. I'm going to take my portfolio around at WW and see how that goes. I just really don't think I'm capable of doing it.
hate to join the chorus of others, since you do so much for the site & all, but why aren't you working on some sort of pitch or project outside of void?! if it's half as good as this, i'd buy it. haha anyway, very nice work! you conveyed emotion through out very well & it was a damn good read. no complaints at all, really.
-J
Awesome job pulling this together Angie! You've really established a great depth and history for your character. Great job!!!
There were a couple wonky bits here and there on some panels, but I'm not going to pick it apart because it was such a good package. Although I will say less swearing is more! Constant swearing makes some of the characters seem a little more juvenile than they should.
Great job again though!
In the future, whenever I think of SDT 08, this is going to be what I remember instead. You've completely overshadowed this round... and pretty much the whole thing. I mean, looking closely, it wasn't very original and nothing ground breaking happened, but that really didn't matter. You managed to make it entertaining. Artwise, it was really good. The line art was sort of a weak spot, but the colors really pulled it together.
I'm glad you guys enjoyed it! Yeah, I don't think I've ever digitally colored tears before so I'll have to keep that stuff in mind for the future. And I don't know if I'm good enough to be paid for my work yet Rone but thank you, I'll keep on working hard to improve. Thank you guys!
It's good how instead of putting in lots of action and fighting you just built up the suspense until the end. Very professional. I never played violin so like the poses didn't bother me at all until i read the comments and then I think I was just trying to look for something wrong with them.
I fee like I should be PAYING to read your comics lately Angie. =P I would really have to rack my brain to come up with anyone on Void that can do art as professional as you. The story was great too. It fills in alot of holes and none of it felt forced. Without spoiling anything, I saw the end coming a mile away but even with the obviousness of it I enjoyed it alot.
I liked it a lot. It inspired sympathy from me because I think that the dramatic scenes were backed up by enough emotion and reason. I felt that Angie's reactions were believable and the story was not articfically pumped with melodrama. I agree that the backgrounds could use some diversity. All the walls and such looked the same to me, even though they were detailed.
Really loved your story, I really wanna see those bad guys get their asses kicked.
Oh wow... I just cried reading that, thanks a bunch Angie, now I've gone and ruined one of my sketches ;___; But in all seriousness this really tugged at my heart strings. This has to be one of your best comics yet! I can't give any advice that hasn't already been given, but wow, wow!
Damn.
Kiljax = Speechless
Okay, so I lied. I loved the darkness of this story. Without the required 'action HYAH' parts, generally people lose interest in a comic, but you went far beyond that and simply made a comic that was very involving and incredibly 'deep' as one would so put it. Giving a look into the past of Angie is quite interesting and I do enjoy the continued evolution of not only your character, but your artwork. I have to agree with Foo about the tears. While it fits the style, there should have been at least some lighting off of the streams on her cheeks. Other than that, I'm no violin expert, nor am I a well versed person on background textures, but I will say this: I f'in loved your Beyond Battle
alright well crits first... i agree with kev.. i love the textures but i think you should lighten them abit the hardness of some of the scratchlines really cut into some of the image that i dont think should be cut into.
yes like many have said the cloth folds could use some help.. but those are an easy thing to hit or miss on with out tons of practice
i agree about the tears also.. i remember tellin you a couple things about them but it was hard to convey what i wanted to say other than they shouldnt have been flat white. in any case . . . . .how i feel about the comic personally...
okay well you already know i loved this battle and i like that you get a sense of the guardianship of P2 and Foo over angie. all the scenes with Robin were great and its really easy to see how their bond developes... i really really really like the emotion you always strive to present for a character who always does her best to hide them.. its nice to see reasons for that. and gives a lotta depth to your already very 3 dimensional character. you continue to grow all the time and i seriously consider you easily the most improved fighter on void AND the most willing to take crits in an effort to improve even more so. thanks for doing this for us and for yourself. you are growing into a really amazingly gifted artist.
-FooZer
Dude, Bittermause, you're going to make me cry.
I'm very overwhelmed to hear people were touched by my story. It's always been my goal to affect people on an emotional level so it's really something else to hear I succeeded. It really makes me happy to hear you guys enjoyed it. It really makes the two months I spent on it feel worth it.
This BB is one of the most moving I have ever read, if not one of the most inspiring. Your dialogue-ing was excellent, especially in the narrations. It didn't stiffen at all, and it really pulled me into believing I was reading a real person's afterthoughts. Despite that you say the BG's weren't anything special, it pieced the mood of the story quite well with the olives and darks. The scratchy textures also gave it a grim, eerie feeling.
And yes, drawing a violin is a bitch. Drawing someone playing it is an even bigger obstacle, so I commend you for pulling that off well.
Excellent work, and once again you never cease to amaze me.
Fascinating read - enjoyed the strong use of light and shadow. I liked your hallway perspectives! I know you said you'd like to improve, but you've made some strong strides here, I think. I look forward to the next battle, with some varied backdrops and lighting. Good work on this one, Angie!
epic read angie. the narration was mmmph! right on spot. The coloring style is good as always, although heads and perspectives got a little wonky in your twenties.
hope more of the memory series come out soon.
Thanks again for the comments guys! Yeah, with this I wasn't trying to do anything unique or interesting with the backgrounds for the mostpart, I really just wanted the focus to be the characters and the atmosphere. For my next battle I do have some more variation in the way the backgrounds look and such planned and hopefully I can pull it off. And yeah, I did feel I had too many zoom in shots, I was reading a ton of Monster prior to doing this and it rubbed off in a bad way haha. And perspective is totally my weakness Zsab, I'm trying though and hopefully there's at least a little improvement in there. We'll see on the next battle XD I'm glad you guys enjoyed the story and dialogue and such, I was pretty nervous about it!
Very impressive work Ang! I genuinely enjoyed reading this comic!
I quite liked your choice of story dialogue, a couple of it rang some heartstrings, hehe. The plot was great.
Saw tons of improvements on how you drew your hands, and ink detail. The gore was pretty hardcore! It's pretty inspiring to see how far Angie's gotten and of course, your constant hard-working motivation with making comics about her always is pretty intense.
I think my only crits is that perhaps there could be better background variation than just plain on machinery pattern or texture (windows, pipings, wall lights, alarms, security cameras to name a few) , or more shots of their full bodies just to get a better sense of room space and their location. I dunno if this is just stylistically but I think , tears should be a tad bit shinier.. like.. you could get a better effect with water reflection across by drawing them thinner/drippier, rather than anime waterfall.. mainly because it didn't match up with how much painted realism you put in the blood, yanno, and water has more reflective properties than blood.
It was still top-notch work though, I gave a top mark for quality just for seeing how much effort you put into this. Amazing stuff.
shit shit shit D:
so yea, that was really good, a very involving way to tell us what happened to Angie.
its kinda like shes peaking directly to the reader as a confident.
yea, in my opinion very well written, and it shows your really worked hard.
Great story! The amount of time spent on it really paid off, as I can't see much bugs in the pages!
My main beef here is about the perspective! I'm not any expert, but you should be extra careful handling them specially since you use many lines on the walls, in most panels where you have an obvious perspective, those wall lines are off to the perspective. You could probably try using many perspective guidelines based on the same fugue point, but in different heights, so that you don't get lost. From the rest it's pretty much awesome! Boobs, yay!
The plot is really cool, except for the wall of text black page :P
I need mooore
Looks very awesome. Your coloring is always top notch and the story was fun... in a sad poor Angie way. Your figures and backgrounds continue to improve.
I do think you're overusing the texture effect some. Maybe lighten it a little. I think it comes down to how it looks on the lighter colored areas like the blanket on the hospital bed. It's fine on the dark walls, but it seems a little out of place on the lighter spots.
Also maybe pick a color that contrasts more with the wall color for the floors so they're easier to tell apart. They kinda blend together.
Keep up the good work!
haha damn I had no idea both Lune and Kotori played violin XD I probably should have run the poses by you guys first since I was just going by reference photos. Thanks for the comments guys! And yeah, on the text I should have went back and tweaked it a little since text was such a large part of the comic
FUUUUUUCK! This is why I love you. Your story telling is just amazing, and I love how I can look back on every comic, and see how much you progressed! It's a wonderful thing, and I am totally proud of you, Dude.
I got nothing awful to say except, being an old violin player- lol yeah, some poses were wrong, but no one who knows shit about it, wouldn't be able to tell I think. You pulled it off awesomely. Just center some text every so often (I think some was off a TINY bit,nothing big) and that's bout it.
You are an inspiration!!!!! =D
Duuuuuuuuuuuude! I followed the progress of this for so long and I have to say... DAMN you make me happy each time to step up.
As someone who once played the violin, I did notice the poses with the characters playing them were wrong, but it's a tricky thing and you managed it really well. The text was fun, though a little off center in a few of the bubbles. Easily fixed, though, and not something that takes away from the over-all comic at all. Just a nit-pick. ^_~ I'll also agree that you still need a bit of work with draping cloth over forms, esp the human one. But it's coming along.
Aaaah, motivation! <3
Aww, that story was sad D': really great stuff though.The colors were very nice and so was the charecter art :3 it was also really neat to meet all these other charecters's like Angie's dad and such.
hmmm... the folds on the bed look very unusual though, I feel that the folds could probaly be less scrunched up together.
Awesome BB though, can't wait till your next battle. :D
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