Thanks for reading.

Congrats and loved that Commander White bit. THANKS and keep up the good work.

yeah! I always forget the lettering part.

you shouldn't be covering your art with your words ANYWAY, layout the page as a whole, not just art then fit letters in...

gulp...do it...do...it....by....hand..... I'll try it. On the plus side I don't have to get bent everytime I cover my art with lettering. Heck I won't have to draw as much. Laugh. This should be fun.

Alberto - You should do it by hand, sometimes that comes out nicer.

thanks dimension-Pi-RoflQu - I'm looking at the faces and some really make me cringe now that you guy's pointed them out, I'll work on faces starting asap, I'll work on my lettering, I was thinking of doing it by hand but that scares the beejezus out of me. Cool thanks!

Thanks for reading.

You're down on creativity because the entry was not creative. You did not go out of your way to have a creative story, or a creative means to convey that story. Some intro, some fighting, both fighters lose to a bunch of ninjas. If you feel you have been wronged this respect, feel free to email me and explain what you did differently or creatively. You're down on entertainment because your panel layout isn't exciting to read, and your story isn't particularly engaging. Stuff happens, followed by more stuff, which is followed by more stuff. Comics, contrary to popular belief, are an ART form, and are more than just things happening in sequence. I'm sure I've told you before, read comics that you like, and see how they panel and layout their pages. The angles they use give a sense of immersion and story, not just telling you what's going on and where it's happening, but providing atmosphere and mood. It's one of the reasons backgrounds and environment is so important, it provides CONTEXT for the story. It's one of the reasons dialogue and character is so important, it allows the reader to connect and relate with the STORY. It's the reason camera angle and page composition is so important, it conveys the ENTIRE EXPERIENCE to the reader through the pages, showing what cannot be shown through art and writing alone.

carlito: Then it's good to know you stopped doing that.

Thanks for reading.

Alberto - I liked your side, but text blocks are something I do not like. If you're gonna make long monologues, I think you should space them out a little. Look at what mainstream comics do, they make multiple boxes with the text spread through it. Otherwise, this fight was fairly solid, but you DEFINITELY need to work on your faces. If you get on with that, you'll be set, I think. Carlito - You need to try stepping away from the freeze-framing of that dude's movies. Like, it's good to have reference, but I constantly pick out 'yeah, he freeze-framed for this', 'he did this on his own' and that shouldn't be occurring at all. You have nice cross hatching one panel, and blank lineart the next. You need to work on your anatomy and faces, because what you can do on your own is seen in the fight against Roach. You should work more on the basics, without using these movies as a total source, it doesn't benefit you where you're at right now, and kind of keeps you stagnant. Keep it up though, you'd be surprised how quickly you can progress.

first of all, you were griping about people not giving comments, but when angie takes the time to respond with a proper critique, you don't thank her, you only respond to corny's joke. way to go! i mean for one, why the hell would people wanna comment if it seems as though it's falling on deaf ears? it's fine to have your focuses, but creativity & entertainment don't matter if you can't clearly see what's happening in the art. and this could just be me but i really fail to see the creativity factor in having your character, a martial artist, fight someone. how very unique, you know? -J

Thanks for reading.

Now stop bitching.

well the reason you're scoring so low on your creativity/entertainment is because your small panels are making it difficult to read. I really don't know how to score higher on creativity, it's my weakest area. I personally don't put a lot of emphasis on that area because I just tell the type of stories I want to read, sure they're not creative all the time but that's okay because I get what *I* want from the battle. I think you're just too worried about your stats, be focused about doing the kind of battles *you* like to do while improving in the meantime. To me that makes things more fun and I can sit back and enjoy my battle when I reread it. Now I'm really no expert on action, god knows how much I struggle with it but I'll try to offer some advice. With action you have to assume your audience is stupid, that sounds mean I know haha but you have to be extremely clear about what is happening. Any time I've tried to be slick and do something that was implied that I thought the audience would get they were confused as hell by what was going on. On that second page where he gets shot, it would have worked better to show a much larger panel with a dude with a gun while having the characters look shocked to show that they acknowledge there's a guy with a gun in front of them. Then with a smaller panels you could have the gun going off and in a larger panel, him pushing the girl out of the way and a smaller panel of the bullet grazing his cheek. Followed by him holding his face. I could better explain it by drawing it but at the moment I don't have access to a scanner. A few important things to remember Establishing shots-you must have them. The audience needs to know where this battle is happening and this can't be done with tiny panels all the time. The larger a panel and a gutter is, the more time it takes up. The smaller a panel, the quicker it happens. So for instance if you want to have someone getting punched in the face, you can have a small panel of the punch coming towards the viewer. It's not meant to take a lot of time so it'll be in a small panel. A larger panel for the actual punch connecting, it allows the viewer to see the punch connecting while giving a lot of impact to the punch itself. Followed by another panel of the person who got punched either falling over or stumbling or holding their face, your pick really. In action it's very important to lay out exactly what is happening so it helps to show what's about to happen, the action itself, and the result of that action if that makes any sense. http://www.mangarevolution.com/tutorial_display.php?tutorial_id=149 was an extremely important tutorial for me that really helped me figure out how to do action on my BB/latest battle. It will really help you a lot. Also, don't see commenting on people's battles telling them what they suck at. That's just a very negative way to look at it. Comments aren't meant to tell people how much they suck, they are meant to be helpful. When I critique someone's battle I try to start out with a few positive things I liked in their battle and proceed to tell them where they need work. It doesn't matter if someone is better than you, if you have a good eye you can pretty easily catch where people need work. No one is perfect. I don't want to hear a comment like \"you suck at this this and this\", because that's discouraging as hell haha I want to hear\"I think you really did well with the story/coloring/whatever, but I think you could work on your action/lineart/whatever and this is how you could improve it\". The most valuable comments I have ever gotten told me what I was doing wrong and HOW I could fix it. Since lets face it, I'm pretty dumb so I have to be shown how to do something better rather than told.

@carlito: ahh O.k I see. It was just the panels where he swings through Rebel Roach's legs and the one where Chia pole vaults himself on his back. Perhaps next time make those panels full body shots, showing us Rebel Roach and Chia swinging through his legs. And for the other one, showing a full body shot of just Chia pole vaulting himself; instead just his staff. ;D

Alberto did eat me alive in the art deparment though! Dude your inks and detail are sick.

Thanks for reading.

Whoo hoo! cool work guys :3 @alberto311: Very nice inking and action that went on in your comic :3 I agree as to what others have said to you about faces, practice drawing them a little bit more :3 Awesome battle though. @Carlito: Pretty good for your first battle =3 I got to say though, the first 4 panels on page 4 were confusing to me O.o; It was just difficult to tell what was gong on. I saw that Chia was running toward Rebel Roach and then it looks like he grabs on to Roach’s antenna…and after that you lost me on the next panels. I’d also suggest working on your anatomy a bit more, your characters looked kind of short and as Kuro mentioned “stuby” in some panels. Keep at it though ;3

alberto - you have great inks, a good sense of composition, and some really cool action poses. Unfortunately, your anatomy isn't always there, and it can really ruin the flow of your comic. Faces are the biggest problem I see, which is troublesome because of the close-ups that you use and that are pretty necessary for dialogue. Practice drawing faces and I'm sure your comics will improve leagues. carlito - faces and anatomy is pretty important for you too, and is something you should prioritize for your next comic. on another note, your paneling is a little bland, and you don't take advantage of your space to sell some of the more action-y shots. 90 degree angles to the subject in any direction is generally not very aesthetically pleasing, so vary it up. Practice practice practice!

It happens Carlito, it also helps to comment on other battles so people might will perhaps return the favor

Thanks for reading.

oh yeah I did a cameo of myself in the story, I'll let you all figure it out as to where it is (laugh I know it'll be hard since most of you don't know what I look like)

Also, the buildings and rain: effing epic. Well done.

Excellent work unk! A few more battles to gain XP and after enough leveling up you'll be ready for your own book!

Hi Guy's! Carlito - I loved your battle. The bullet scratching Liam’s cheek was weird for me and I'll explain. Liam is actually based on my nine year old of the same name, my nine year old got a scar just like that one about a couple of years ago by a buddy swinging an ax. Luckily all he got was the scar and not a deep gash (weird) Lucky - yep I definately fudged my time management again and was doing the lettering till the wee hours last night, Kuro - I uploaded my test page by mistake. That sucked. The other page was going to say that the only collaboration Carlito and I managed was me doing my storyline two weeks after his, so I took a total guess at what his story might be. The Ninjas was a total surprise. And also that my storyline is going to be 10 to 12 parts. Laugh, Waldo was a total surprise to me once I drew that character, I thought it was funny so I left it. DrawDan – I think Carlito summed it up. Oh and thanks for the props. Oh yea the disc Chia inserted unleashed the experiments into the city, I whish I didn’t rush my lettering last night but I had little choice – I know not the greatest. Angieness – thanks for the eye crits I’ll work on it. I hope not to lose you yet, I’m working on Liam’s character with this long storyline I hope to flesh him out so you get to know him better. I had to scrap three pages of the story due to time constraint, but Ill put them in my next battle. I was also fascinated with Chia and focused on him. I'm not the best writer but I'm working on it. I feel like I'm getting better with my battles that’s what I love about this sight, so I’ll be here as long as I’m welcomed. OH yea Carlito – I hope I didn’t surprise ya too much, and you’re okay with what I did with Chia. Peace everyone! And keep the crits coming!

Drawdan- Our battles weren't connected. We did it separately. Alberto's comic was cool, and really well drawn, but it has nothing to do with my characters story path so don't get too confused, as I didn't create mine to go into his. I just had the government chase him like his bio said they do, and in his running we crossed each other and fought. Corny- yeah eyes are weird. I'll work on it.

Carlito-As others have stated, make sure you give your panels some breathing room. When it comes to paneling, one thing to remember is the larger a panel the more time it takes, the smaller the less time. Larger panels are also nice in action scenes for adding more emphasis/impact to a moment which is important. I think giving your panels more breathing room would really help make what's going on more clear. I also think you may have benefitted from stepping away from Roach's design sheet a little more. While he looked fine in his Roach form, his human form it just looked like you were trying to draw him in the artist's style. Don't be afraid to draw in your own style. Alberto-your inks were great and you did a very good job on the backgrounds. The only thing I really noticed artistically was sometimes in your quarter views on humans the eyes tend to go up when they shouldn't. I think storywise your stuff could use a little more, I've had a hard time really getting into your battles in the past and this one was no different. I think going more in depth with your character would maybe make the audience more interested in him as a character. It might also help to give background characters a little more natural way of speaking.

Roach...loved the first page..you can draw bugs like nobodys buisness and the inks are spankin. Good first battle carl, but I agree with alot of the previouse crits on action and clarity. I am alittle confused on the overall story- I dont quite understand how carls battle leads into roach's and how all these baddies have been releasede to plauge the city. a clarification would be helpful so I can write my battle against carl correctly.

Wewt, Twerp & Squert cameo. Sweetness carlito. I just gotta ask you one thing though: WTF is up with Chia's eyes on page three? They are obscenely far apart. It... it frightens me.

alberto, nice detailing. good sense of scale too with some of the wider 'big budget' shots. just remember to spell check next time. wasting a full page to say read carlito's first seemed a little excessive though. you couldn't have doodled a little cover together or something? and they seem to not be connected to me. also i found waldo. carlito, i couldn't tell what was going on in the action sequences. and your anatomy was still stubby. but good job, considering inoue never drew rebel roach as a frame of reference. -J

Real nice^^ Alberto: Great first page. Nice inks^^. Overall pretty good. Some spelling errors and some obvious anatomical mistakes in the last two pages. But quality wise it was real good. Carlito: Nice first match^^. Short, but nice especially the way you ink. I've always loved greys made with ink. There's only one thing though. I would suggest that for next matches maybe you could make bigger panels to show a bit more and make your comic breathe a little. You'd have more pages that way, but it wouldn't look forced in like everything happened at once. Good collab guys ;3

Omg!!!! It's V! I love you!!!! Hrrrmmpphh... ah on the professional side... Cydney beyond battle next week!!!! Its the finished version of our first fight. and for the rest of you... haha ha, i'm still drawing my last page!!!!

I have to root for rebel roach^^ But good luck to you both! Can't wait to see!!

ha ha ha!!!! Been sick like a dog! No sleep!!! Ha ha ha! Slowly going mad, or already mad-hard to tell. But I won't default!!!! Ha ha ha! Coff, kafff ---hack!! What day is it?? Pink bunnys on my drawing tablet--(that's weird) Good luck Carlito

Uploaded! Good luck Alberto. You're cool as ice, man. Thanks for battling me.

I love Carlito's inking style on the intros, I can't wait to see a full battle.

Thanks Its good to be back Drawdan!!!! Just got back from Wondercon and it was awsome. It got my juices flowing again and im totally jazzed about battleling Carlito. I'm going to start a storyline to work more on my narrative, i hope to go 10 - 12 parts so im lining up fighters for this. anyone interested give me a hollar. Good Luck Carlito, looking forward to your half!!!

good to see ya back roach...turn on the pain.

balls balls balls balls of steel!

Good luck to both of you, let's see a good showing.

W007!!! I guess its on! Look out Void the nube is going to turn you upside down. Good luck Carlito! Give it your best, cause you can be damn sure I'm gonna!!!