Steam:
-Quality: The Good. Not bad. Your style has a nice animated charm to it. Its easy on the eyes. The page layouts were decent and had decent pacing.
The Bad. The figures on the second page and the sillhouettes on the 5th pages seemed rushed. On page 6, why is Klyde laying down?
-Creativity: The Good. It was more or less the \"Bump, insult, fight\" formula, but atleast they aint denying it with the \"duel?\" comment.
The Bad. The fact that it was still the \"Bump, insult, fight\" formula. It can be hard to avoid at times, but its not the only way to get 2 people to fight.
-Entertainment:The Good. The dialogue was okay, not too boring. Fairly original for the most part.
The Bad. That samurai bit was cool in a way, but it doesn't seem like Klyde has enough clout around here to be pulling that stuff off just yet. You have to make it seem like your opponent has some kind of chance.
Pretty good overall, but I want to see more of an effort next time.
Kai-Hing:
-Quality: The Good. I like your style. You have some very intersting panel layouts and I'm digginf the hand drawn balloons and text aswell. You have nice lineweights and your action shots are fairly dynamic.
The Bad. Not enough establishing shots or backgrounds. It honestly wasn't very apparant that they were in a cemetery until the 5th page. Its usually good comic etiquette to start off with a self-explanitory establishing shot just to avoid any confusion as the comic moves along.
-Creativity: The Good. The action sequence was the only thing that I spotted that had some orginality.
The Bad. Wow. Your script is chock FULL of very bad one-liners. I mean TERRIBLE one-liners. I'm really against these, ESPECIALLY in initial fights, because they hinder you from exploiting the true character of your fighter. Even know I still don't have a really good idea of who Gage really is. I know every new fighter is antsy and wants to get into the action right away, but you really need to work on your character and plot development. Also \"Sage Mask\" doesn't sound too initimidating. Isn't that like a spice or something? I'm just saying.
-Entertainment: The Good. Again the pretty art alone is what kept this comic tolerable.
The Bad. It was kind of a let down the way it just ended like that. It was kinda anti-climatic and your \"money shot\" really didn't have a pay-off so I was like \"What? Thats it?\". What exactly caused the black out? A strike that we didn't get to see? fear? And that last panel...what?!
Overall it was a good attempt. I can tell you took your time on this, but as you focused on your art your script REALLY suffered. Next time try to get a good balance of both.
Good work gents. Can't wait to see you guys develop your skills here.
By the way, kai-hing, you have excellent handwriting. Normally I hate it when an artist doesn't use a computer to work out speech bubbles, but you just blew me away.
Steam: I like the way you started off the fight, just kind of random and out of the blue when they bump into eachother. (I especially like the \"Sexy horns\" \"Nice makeup\" crack) But it was ended kind of suddenly, even though it began that way, I would have liked to see it last a little longer than two hits. I love your sense of humor, great job.
kai-hing: I can tell by your style that you probably read a lot of comics, the way you handle a battle scene is amazing. It looks great as just line art, I don't think I could have loved this more if it were colored. It was entertaining and not one-sided at all until the end, which admittedly was a little confusing and seemed like a rushed cut-off. Hats off, my vote goes to you!
In all honesty, I did not see steam's fighter on the main page. And I kinda see why after this fight.
Steam: Pretty good, but looking at your intro pages and everything else you've done, count me as unimpressed! Personality wise this guy was amazingly unlikeable as well (But I guess that's what you had in mind). But you seriously need to do something a hell of alot better than this if you intend to win some more fights.
Kai Hing: Welcome to void dude, pretty impressive showing as well, only thing that really seemed off was the story, seemed pretty cut and dry man (Standard guy meets other guy and fights). Though your action was pretty cool, some anatomy also seemed a bit... wonky (Maybe I should say exagerated instead). Still, art and action won me over on this fight. My vote is for you.
Both of ya did great, but some things need to be worked on.
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