Wow pi, this is much better quality than your other stuff! Awesome!

Pi asked for a crit, this is what I had to say ----- The layout for page 1 is nice. borderless panel 3 is a nice touch.... but there's a few problems I notice. First, the panel borders were obviously drawn with a straightedge, but the building in panel one wasn't. The building also isn't symmetrical, but that's minor. The clouds here look pretty bad though. Like patchs of carpeting or something. You've then got a nice skyline in panel 2, with plenty of buildings nearly the same height as M&J, but back in panel 1, she's standing all alone... it'd be more consistant if there was another building or two on the sides Panel 3, makes Pye look average sized, because he fills the chair so well. It's a good use of grays in panel 2 to seperate the background from the character. nice work there I like page 2, especially the last panel, though Pye's got a helluva lot of teeth in panel 2 Her desk also appears to be changing sizes, compared between pages 1, 2, and 3 It looks like Leon's file is sitting on her desk back on page 2... it'd be nice if there was a transition panel showing her handing it to him, but the jump isn't that bad, and it might just be my preference to see it I like the open panel again on Page 3, though there's some anatomy issues with the woman. Namely elongated arms and hands, but she's standing a bit funny as well. Also, his chair is now gone, and a chair behind the desk has materialized The doors on page 4, panel 1 make it look sloppy, and while the individual panels look nice, as a page it looks weird with half of Pye's face in panel 2 and half in panel 4. It looks like it shoudl be one image, but clearly isn't... it's just the way our mind tries to piece it together. I think if you'd kept panel 2, and zoomed out to show his whole face for panel 4, it would have worked better. The woman's face in panel 3 looks... I don't know... lacking. Giant sized her head, but didn't add any details. Shading is also a problem here, as you used the same bottom-of-nose and lower-chin shading in both panel 3 and 4 Page 5, panel 1 - nice transition. Consistancy pops up again, as Satin is quite far behind Leon in panel 2, but right on his heels in panel 3. There's something not quite right about about 4, but I can't put my finger on what exactly. It could be there's not enough seperation between panels 3 and 4, almost making it look like one image... or maybe their feet should be in the panel... I'm not sure The forest in the background of panel 1 on page 6 looks like ass, but it's good other than that. Satin and leon keep getting farther apart, though neither of them seem to be moving. There's also the monster Leon is slashing in Panel two here... 'Satin! Stay close to me.' is a very quick line, and a sword can certainly be drawn in that time, but there's no monster close enough to him in panel 1 for him to strike down in panel 2. I'd probably move him slightly to the right in panel 1, and squeeze in something running from off-panel at him from the left... or move the thing behind him in closer, since that what it appears to be in panel 2 that's he's killing Page 7 is rather unexpected.... also just noticed you can see lines through the skull that weren't erased. I think it would work better if there was some indication on the last page that this wall were going to pop up. We saw the handing digging out before it grabbed Satin, but no prep for this makes for a weird transition. I might also layout it out differentally... move him into the foreground more to sqeeze a creature or two into the background, and then grow the wall higher to keep the proportions between Leon and it Page 8 works well, though Satin and Leon are right next to each other again On the first read-through I thought page 9 was fine... but now I'm wondering if Leon leaving the city is really what the woman wanted. She said 'scared' but not of what exactly. Story wise, I'm not sure three dead things would really do the trick to scare him. I think I just read all of Satin's battles but never saw Leon, so I'm not sure what would be uncharacterist of him, but even just a few pages ago it looked like the park was crawling with creatures... so maybe just alter the angle to show a more ariel view with more creatures, or fill up the background some more with a sufficiently scare worthy amount... 'cause he did just slice a guy's face off, so he's somewhat brave at least within this story. That forest in the background of panel 1 is bugging me again. I think you're getting pretty good with the foregrounds and layouts, but the backgrounds still need work. Page 10, I think someone mentioned this in the comments already, is an abrupt ending. It appears as if he's run off, but I can't be sure that was your intention. Maybe if the \"Do I make myself clear\" panel were put on the previous page, and the other two panels here were moved up, you'd have room for a new final panel with Satin stepping through the wall, creatures retreating or completely gone, and no sign of Leon at all... and then Satin with some sort of \"Leon?\" question, driving it home that she's looking for him and he's nowhere in sight. Good silhouette in the last panel

Ok, critique time! Kura: Nice job with the brush pens, but it seemed sorta sloppy in my honest opinion. Only thing that really bugs me was the comic itself, I gotta be honest in saying that this was lame! I was honestly expecting some big story from ya, instead I get a 3 minute brawl and an anticlimatic ending invoving a video game that was apparently on the line. Entertainment and creative wise man: I think you could have done better. Pi: Looking very sharp, I think you tied with Kura quality wise on this, but in the future, try using a ruler ok? Storywise this was pretty good, but I honestly felt like it ended abruptly, like you had more pages planed for this story, anywho, you got my vote! Both of you did pretty good! Let's see more ok?

done. This is what happenes when i rely too much on brushpens.

all uploaded, on to the big G. ;)

This wasn't a good idea Pi, considering that you have Galvo on your hands.....I pray for you.

this...is gonna suck...

This should be interesting.

You are so on.