Overall, Fuudasha has said everything I thought about these fights, and I pretty much agree with him--with the minor exception that I was not quite impressed with Angel's effort than everyone else seems to be. The characters were expressive, yes, but the whole thing despite the extension seemed very, very rushed and lackluster to me. Inking would have definitely been an improvement, and I think computer lettering would have increased the readability by leaps and bounds. Angel does get props from me, however, by staying with the page count. (Seemingly insignificant, I know, but importand to me.)
Even though a lot of folk are describing this as a fairly slow battle, I did find these entries surprisingly character driven, which I think is pretty cool. It's another example of a battle where both entries are coincidentally linked together, and that makes it all the better.
Angel, I think the consensus is pretty clear that you entry could have had more time behind it. My main issue was with the abundance of text, which with the light penciling, I found a little hard to follow in spots. The linework is expressive enough, but the entry could have used more polish to convey the story easier. Nice portrayal of the characters though, and we'll have to see how you might follow this one up.
Noriaki, you work seemed much more complete and showed some nifty moments, but the fight scenes themselves were definitely goofy looking. Luckily, that wasn't your only angle to the story. I loved how you tied things up by actually making connections from Cherrie's previous fights, so I felt you did a good job actually bringing some character out of her, and your handling of page 6 was also pretty cool. I think if you had altered the flow of the entry so the battle felt more secondary (in other words, not having such a dramatic build up in the beginning perhaps), it might have made this a little stronger. Definitely do some more research on action poses and perspective for fights. The crazy idea of a guy fighting with a T-Square just isn't feeling believable quite yet, but with some more work into it, I think you can pull it off. Don't expect to figure it all out right away, I know learning the tough stuff will take some time.
Anywho, I think as a whole, this battle was fairly interesting in its own way. I'd love to see more stories involving Teddy and Cherrie's friendship in the future. Best of luck to you guys!
Nori: Thank you so much for having a continuing story line. Even your intro pgs connect with it I wish I could see that more with future new comers.
Cherrie: You have to do a complete comic soon and take it seriously so we could see how good you really are. You have potential give yourself some time so you could actually do something with it.
I promise that my next actual fighting comic will be better. (sigh). I can draw the human figure but action is still difficult. A friend suggested after I submitted this that I should turn on Soul Calibur 3 and pause when I see a good sword pose. (laughs)
I actually liked Noriaki's better. It was a little more worked out, had some decent thought put into it, and had an OK story. I agree that the fight choreography needs some work, but it wasn't as thought it were *horrible*.
Angel, yours had a funnier story but its rushed state really just lost it on me. It's a little too sloppy for my taste. If you can finish it up and maybe draw out the storyline some, you'll be golden. It's a really funny concept and deserves a little reworking.
I enjoyed your first battles, noriaki, but I can tell you need some work with your action poses. They way you drew them made it look more like one of those comedically poorly-choreographed fight scenes. But besides that, your work was pretty good. I like that you actually inked and toned everything. Just one other thing that was strange to me--I don't know about you, but I'd be pretty grossed out to be kissed by a furry, I think. Of course, T-Square is half alien, so I suppose odd tastes runs in the family lol.
Angel, I liked your pencil work, but I would have enjoyed a bit of inking, too, and some more complete detail and stuff. I think it was an interesting approach to start after the match rather than beforehand, but at the same time it makes it feel like you just didn't want to bother drawing the actual battle. Overall, I liked this comic pretty well, but I think you could do better.
Rather a lack luster battle from my point of view.
Noriaki's was more complete, but you need more work on angles and poses. Your fight scene was rather awkward looking, due in part to extremely stiff poses. Do some figure studies and loosen up your art. It will add a great deal more dynamic action to your intense scenes.
Angelidollinda's shows more skill, but was extremely rushed and unfinished. The plot point was important, and I'm glad you managed to pull it off with T-square not looking like just a tag on the story, but the poor quality of the art itself lost you a lot of points.
Yeah, fighting is not my forte...neither is background. I really wanted to show that I could do a story (battle 1) and a fight (battle 2) but fighting poses are tougher than I thought.
Angelidollinda: GLEE! You made him look SO CUTE! I really want to use the image of him eating the ice cream for my avatar and character icon now! And you made her look so adorable too. I woulod have loved to seen this comic inked as well. I'm glad that either way it goes... T-Square gets a kiss and a new friend.
Ok, neat battle you two
Noriaki: Not too shabby my friend, but the comic just was too dry for my tastes you could say. No real wow factor in either art or story. Quite frankly I was a tad confused as to how Cherrie suddenly mood swung like that now. If anything work on that negitive space man, whole lot of white space now man, gotta put something in there... anything. But still very good.
Angel: Granted there wasn't any fighting, I got a good chuckle seeing lotus as an Ice Cream Parlor vendor. Artwise it was pretty good, but maybe you should ink next time girl. Next fight you're in, give us a good show alright (If you want I'll fight ya!)
Vote went to the Angel one. Pretty good nonetheless, keep it up or something?
Done and uploaded. It's not that exciting, but I wanted to get to an important twist in Cherrie's story. You'll see in my next battle (which I promise I won't put off!).
Uploaded.
Wei, you will have to use the URLs I sent you for the comics. I sent Toast the error reading. I uploaded 7 pages to my website. Thanks again for your patience.
Good luck, angelidollinda. Can't wait to see what you came up with. Take your time.
GAH! So much pressure... I look at other battles of late and really wonder if I'll do well. Mine is still so basic comparitively... I really hope I get a \"C-\" overall... that's my only goal so far.
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