Noriaki: You're quite an exceptional writer there, and I like how you used Hiemie in introducing Teddy to VOID and still kept him somewhat in character (Hiemie is really rather random, so you really got him with his dialogue) and though there wasn't any battle, this seemed like a good intro/preview of some inherent skill he has. I also enjoyed that first page with the city, and I thought there was a tiny figure of Teddy somewhere. Art's quite good, though it could use some bit of contrast.
red2z: The first and last page quite amused me and the backgrounds are appropriate, though you had Teddy acting a bit OOC in my opinion. Other than that, I think the battle had me confused with its defiance of perspective, it seemed like the characters changed positions without me knowing. Yeah, maybe you could use the flamingo as a running gag.
Thanks for the critiques, gang. I'm really glad to have found VOID. I really think that drawing battles will help me with my art. I've been drawing forever, but just on and off... so i'm not as honed as most of you are here, but I hope to do better battle by battle.
I'm glad you all like my stories.
Red, yours seemed like a little more effort could have been put into it, but it did make me laugh so that's a plus.
Noriaki, I really liked the writing in this, you art needs some improvement, but your writing was pretty good (in my opinion). Nice first battle, and opens up for good character development
Must...not...base...vote...on cameo...
Imma refrain on giving an advantage to either side on this one, though I honestly believe Nori's looks like it had more effort put in, was better written, made more sense, and was more entertaining...but both were pretty good.
Way to make an entrance dude!
Red, I love it. It's really really funny. I know it's not a lot, but it makes me laugh.
I REALLY like how you're working on your own style. I can see you improve (from the One-Piece-ish) battle by battle. Good job, my friend. And that it's all in color... you really showed me how to do it simply and have it still look good.
Ooh, yeah, that DID help!
Nori-I like your big set up, it's gonna be really fun watching your plot move along XD I suggest using different darknesses in tones in your backgrounds, the grey you're using in all of them makes the feeling more monotonous (You could have used an almost black in panels 2-4 on page 4 to make the fighters look more ominous. And yeah, backgrounds and shadows are a good thing (Still working on improving those myself) But for your first try, I like it! Yay! Welcome to Void!
Red-I like the first page best, it makes me laugh hardest, although the whole thing is rather amusing ^_^
I would suggest you work on your distances... it looks like Michael and T are really far apart but they're doing some close up fighting (esp page 3 stabbing)
It seems that the url to norakis pages messed up, but you can see the pages from this url:
http://entervoid.com/images/battles/1513Teddy%20'T'%20Square/page1battle1.jpg
then just add 1 on \"/page\" to flip the page (Im really not good at describing things :P)
hope this this helps someone atleast :D
5 pages uploaded. Let me know if I need to re-upload them... I got a 'warning' message after the upload.
This is my first EVER comic. I know I can improve... so please help me out here. Hope you all enjoy.
As weapons go, look at your art equipment and think: \"If I only had this stuff to use in battle... how would I use it?\" and that's it. Be creative. :)
I already have 5 pages plotted for this one and 4 for my other. I hope I don't disappoint you all... and I hope I don't disappoint my opponent either! GOOD LUCK RED2Z!
(laughs) well I sent like 4 challenges not expecting everyone to accept at once... maybe I should have been more patient... But I can do this.
So, other people I sent challenges to: If you could sit on them for a few weeks (laughs)?
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