I loved everyone’s comics. No words. PERFECTION🤩🤩🤩🤩

I really like the painterly look to this, especially the backgrounds. You have a good style.

These pages were amazing, I love the experimental techniques you featured here, might i recommend reading some of Bill Sienkiewicz comics or David W. Mack comics for more references of how crazy these comic styles can go, I especially recommend David W. Mack's Daredevil run (especially Issue #18- Wake up) and Bill Sienkiewicz Elektra assassin mini series or his New Mutants Demon bear stuff. Now enough with the artistic references plugs, This was a solid entry and pitch if only you had a few more pages to explore more, it's page limit is it's Achilles heel as we were barely starting to cook just as it ends, which in the end isn't a bad thing. We did set out to make these comic pitches and not full tales, so in essence leaving me wanting more is a mission accomplished, so in that way you succeeded, this comic showcased once again your talents as one of the new raising stars here in entervoid and it was a pleasure reading your stuff, sir. Keep on making comics and we will read them all.

Thanks for the comment Bobert. That's great that you think it looks like the Maxx because it's creator (Sam Kieth) is one of my favorite artists! So I guess his influence is showing through :)

Thanks for the in depth critique Jelly! You hit on a lot of what I've also discovered through this experiment. Part of the experimentation was to test out how much adding extra narrative as text would affect pacing in the reading experience. As I discovered while reading Frank Miller's Elektra Assassin and Bill Scienkiewicz's Stray Toasters that the way they used word balloons was able to slow me down in my reading experience. The same effect as would happen with a more "show" approach where I would have instead included more panels to draw out time. I'd be interested in hearing about if you found that to be the effect as well? As for the overabundance of text on certain pages: I totally agree. Which brings me to the other aspect of experimentation I'm currently trying to figure out. I had a vision not long ago of a product that would merge the mediums of comics (sequential storytelling), picture books (big images with descriptive text that leaves you to imagine a lot of the story), novels (descriptive text and narration), and magazines (editorial layout, playing with font styles and graphic design). And this was my first go at attempting to see what this could look like. So I'm definitely still on that journey! That's why a lot of the text mimicked what was already being shown. As I'm trying to see how much I can describe in written form, before it gets too much and actually takes away from the experience. Since novels have a different way of taking you into their world. They're able to make you go inside the heads of characters telling you how they feel and setting the mood with words. I know thought balloons are a thing, but I just don't like to use them for some reason. I prefer using narration as it then adds the feeling that you're being told a story. Which I like. I feel comics have veered more towards being similar to movies when it comes to "show don't tell". So I'm experimenting to see just how much I can bring "novels" into comics so that comics can be their own thing instead of being too close to movies. This is why I have a lot of text that describes vs just showing. But like you said, for my personal tastes, I would prefer more "show" than "tell". But since I wanted to try and get "big images" and not include too many small panels, I opted to see how adding these in text would feel. And I ultimately didn't like it as much. But accepted it because of the 4 page max limit. In my next project though, I'll be including a lot more "show" as it's something that I love about the Vagabond manga. Whereas Elektra Assassin, I experienced pacing through words, Vagabond is where I truly experienced masterful pacing visually. So now that I've seen how too much text is bad, I can experiment with my use of narration, as well as adding more visual pacing. But since I want to create big images, that means more pages instead of more panels. Which is why a page max limit doesn't help me in that regards :P With all that, I really appreciate you left a comment to let me know what your reading experience was like as it confirms a lot of my own thoughts reading through the final product. Don't worry about being overcritical with me. It'd just make me think. Which is the whole point!

You've created a great sense of intrigued here. The writing is sharp and the artwork is fantastic as always. But for a comic, I do feel that there's a point here where there's too much writing and not enough artwork. There's an abundance of narration that serves only to describe the moment we are already witnessing. After imagining pageb1 without the added narration, just the artwork and the spoken dialogue, it feels like it reads how you intended it to just fine without all the text, save the final "that was the last time he saw her" that final panel withbhis stoic face conveys so much just through visuals alone, the narration talking about how stoic his expression is doesn't add to it, I feel. Page 2 is much the same. If feels redundant to describe the office when we are actively being shown that same office. But page 3 is the one I really wanna talk about, because a lot happens on this page but there's only 3 panels. The majority of things that happen on this page are not things we are shown, they are things we are told. If we weren't told that those things had happened we would not know they had happened at all. At that point it doesn't feel like I'm reading a comic, it feels like in reading a novella with some supplementary pictures. Its a somewhat jarring change, since the previous 2 pages worked well as comics without the narration and then page 3 struggles to function as a comic at all. Without the narration it would be pretty indecipherable. I want to reiterate that the writing is not bad in anybsense. It is VERY well written narration, but comics are, above all, a visual medium. And your visuals here are phenomenal, that's also part of the reason I want more of them! Reading that page, the mental image of this man busting down this big fancy mahogany door, knocking this absolute Goliath on his ass, and then shooting him in the head without uttering a single word is incredible, but that shouldn't be in my head, that should be in the page. This all being said, I know you said you were doing some experimenting here, and that takes time. The results kf that experimentation does show through in the final product. Idk if this was always how you had this story planned outnor if this was the compromise for investing time in a new method. I dont want to seem overly critical here. This absolute has me hooked and wanting more, that's WHY I want to talk about it so much.

Very interesting! All the mixed media reminded me of the latter half of The Maxx. You got me hooked, I know the hard limit is 4 pages only but pretty much every comic has left me wanting more so far, damn....