You got some good paneling and angles here. The fighting parts had good direction but went on just a bit too long. When a fight sequence goes for more than two pages it's best to break it up with some banter or internal monologue. I'm not sure if this was a time constraint issue but when you draw hand to hand combat make sure you add some speed or impact lines and sound effects. There's no hard rule but I'd say at least two per page would probably be enough without it being overused. Keep up the improvement I look forward to seeing more of Dekkard! I am an avid enjoyer of the more combat centric void characters.

Thanks for the votes and comments everybody. Dekkard: Thanks for the challenge! I liked the story you started with for Dekkard. I should have asked more info about who he'd be chasing since it didn't make sense for him to be chasing Theakon if what his agency is after are ex members. You had good story beats, but like SirJelly pointed out, maybe a bit of variety in your angles/shots could help. One of the things I'm trying to keep in mind more now is trying to include various shot "lengths" on each page. Meaning a Long shot (where you can see the entire body), Medium shot (where you can basically see from the waist up) & close ups. So maybe that could help you out next time. Good effort for your first comic though! Bobert: I had to look up what a hagiography was haha thanks for the kind words! Platinumartist: Yeah, I agree it's short. That was on purpose though as originally this was supposed to be a 2 week battle. And I have a tendency to just go too big as far as scope goes. So I wanted to challenge myself to do a smaller page count since I only had 2 weeks and try to focus on the quality of each page. But maybe sacrificing quality of art for a better story would be a better option in the future. Something to experiment with! Red: Haha, I wonder which panels you thought made Dekkard look badass as I also had that thought about a couple of them. The last page seems to be confusing to a lot of people so I might have gone overboard with the abstractness. I'll have to have a sharper eye for it next time. SirJellyRaptor: Your right in that there's probably a lot of muddier spots from the new technique that I was using. Which I basically started using 2-3 days before submission was due. BUT, it's still good to know for the future that I really need to keep an eye on clarity and proper contrast on my main focus points. On the last page, it was a bit hard to balance what I wanted to give as far as feeling goes and keep clarity. Like that first panel, I wanted to communicate a sort of blurriness to it do give a sensation of speed from falling. But could definitely see the points being made. Especially on the last 3 panels on that page where I just used a lot of cheap tricks honestly and hoped for the best haha. I was inspired a lot by Dave McKean's techniques of abstraction so I'll just need to learn to use this better! Pizza Man: Thanks for the in depth crit! I'll also go in depth in my reply hah. page 1 - That's a valid point as I was also thinking that after all was done (that is was a bit hard for the eye to follow). I feel the bottom panels could have been arranged better to encourage better flow. page 2: For the dart, I guess I could have exxagerated the movement with some other tricks but I was hoping the jagged frame borders, the red trail as well as the lines of the background would give enough of a feel. But maybe not enough! I was actually initially going to put sound fx for him catching it, but gave up on it. Guess that was a mistake! page 3: I was hoping no one would spot that lol I also saw that after I was too far gone like "wait...I'd need something to show Dekkard not paying attention!". In my head he was reloading his gun. But I definitely messed up by not having a panel showing that happening. I think you're also right about the reason why the eye being led down from the first panel is going on as that actually happened to me as well upon reading it. I was attributing it to poor panel placements for my panel 2 & 3, but I think your explanation might be a key thing. Mirroring that panel would have been better. page 4: That's just me being guilty of not wanting to draw the perspective necessary to show how high they are during a slump that I got during this battle lol. page 5: Agreed, I'm not happy with that text because of that reason. But I just couldn't figure out a good way to let the reader know that falling from this height wasn't a big deal for Dekkard. Maybe that means I just need to spend more time during the initial writing/thumbnailing phase. page 6: I'll try and reel in the technique in the future to not muddy things up too much haha I might have been enjoying myself too much getting all these happy accidents! For the first panel, I wanted the focus to be on Theakon, so that's why Dekkard is not the focus since I wanted to also communicate that he has no idea Theakon is behind. For panel 2, I was going for a more cartooney effect of just seeing the trail to indicate he got hit with such force that he was already off screen. But I see your point about offering readers the satisfaction of seeing the impact. I'll have to study fight scenes a bit more! Good point on them never being on the same panel when action is taking place though. I agree with most of your observations so they're definitely food for thought that I will bring into my next project. Thanks a lot for taking the time for such a detailed breakdown.

I had to read through the action sequence a few tines to really find the flow of it. It's great that there is a discernable cause and effect in this fight but it would benefit a lot from cleaning uo and pushing the poses a bit and some practice with paneling. I would suggest messing around with motion lines a bit to better convey movement within a panel, and also playing around with different panel types and how they affect story pacing. For example, ypu use two full size panels to convey Dekkard drawing the tazer and then pointing it. Showcasing everybaction equally like this can create a clunky and disjointed reading pace. Instead ypu could condense both action into a single panel.bybusong motion lines or indicators to show the act of drawing and pointing, or ypu could use a smaller panel to show the act of drawing, and a larger, more prominent panel to show the pointing, placing more emphasis on the more important action.

Great job both of you, and congrats to Dekkard on completing your first battle! Enjoyed the endings to both of these. Itizjr, your style is so good, I really enjoy seeing traditional stuff. I thought you made Dekkard look so badass in some panels haha. I was mildly confused by the end in a couple panels but there was enough context to understand. Dekkard, I’d love to see shorter comics from you so you have more time to experiment with angles and panel structure etc. Action is super hard, I thought you did a great job but I’d encourage you to keep practicing and use references. Overall, really great start and I hope you keep on battling with us.

Congrats on finishing up your first battle on Void and it is a solid 8 pages. I really like the choice of making a monochromatic comic as it does have its own separate set of challenges. The establishing shot is fine although I do notice that a lot of shots are quite similar with a lot of poses looking the same as well, If anything maybe next time try to get more varied shots like a "top down shot" or a "looking from the ground upward shot" to show who is empowered in this scene. As for the action poses, maybe throw in punch and dodge with different stances. ALSO! that last panel was a nice moment for your character to have a one liner but they might be the strong silent type. As for the story, it is solid and ended well. Hopefully we see more of this character's story as you continue to battle!

Congrats on finishing your first OC comic fight! I didn't expect it to end on a more sillier note haha. I think you could stand to copy your favourite artists more and use more references in your work when you can.