arrow_back
To a New World of Gods and Monsters
After meeting Ohm, Theakon would like to learn more about the magical realms in order to defend himself and those he loves better against these threats. So he tags along as Marsha goes to Book's End to get her hands on a gardening book she's been looking forward to getting.
In-depth critique preferred
This comic has been rated suitable for teens and up by its creator(s)
Characters in this Comic

Comments (8)

Rikun's avatar
Rikun
All-Rounder
1 month ago
It's good to see you active in Void again, and I can tell your focus was on rendering which looks pretty good! Your action scenes are pretty dynamic and when they're in splash pages they shine, but I feel like your page formatting could use some work so they could be a bit more readable. Overall, I'm interested to see where Theakon goes from here and where your action can go next!

SirJellyRaptor's avatar
SirJellyRaptor
Inker
1 month ago
Another solid showing from you, you've really dived in head first. Your visuals continue to be a strong point and I really like how you're playing around with panel layouts and types. You capture dynamic poses and motion incredibly well amd everything flows easily and effectively. Visually I only have two small nitpicks. The first is that the panels on top of page 8 aren't inked. Not a major issue but it does stand out when everything else is inked pretty solidly. The second is the middle of page 3, in the panels with the book page and the text warping around Theakon. The text is such a clean and uniform asset that it doesn't mesh well with the looser hand drawn visual style of the rest of the comic. It sticks out as notably different and it took me out of the flow of the comic for a second. I love the effect you're going for, and understand that it would have been a lot harder to do by hand, but I'm just wonderin if there's a way it could have been made to fit in better with the surrounding visuals. The writing is also solid. At first I thought this was gonna be a typical jealousy plot, which would have worked fine, but it was nice that you twisted the situation around to create good will between the characters instead of conflict. No critiques on that front

Bobert's avatar
Bobert
All-Rounder
1 month ago
I like the ominous demon haunting Theakon. He's got me more interested in everything now!

Fluffsamasprime's avatar
Fluffsamasprime
All-Rounder
1 month ago
Page 7 panel 2 is one of my favorite! I love the layers to it. There was tons of panels I greatly enjoyed. Your traditional colors are fantastic! Page 17 caught me off guard when I scrolled down. wasn't expecting dong lol! All I have is praise for this comic! Keep up the good work!

Platinumartist's avatar
Platinumartist
Inker
1 month ago
There is something about your colors I truly enjoy as each panel pops out. Your story that you have written is short but engaging. I felt that the action pieces finish up as soon as it starts to happen as bullets start to fly through the bookstore. My recommendation for ways to extend these sections of the comics would be to show the damage that was done to the bookstore's front windows as the car holding the shooters drive off. It gets a sense of pacing within the action and helps space out either dialogue or action beats. I will say that it was pretty creative making Jacob's fish form bullet-proof but oh my gosh I was quite impressed on how badass you made Theakon look by having him catch the bullets coming his way. The creature that shows up near the end kinda came outta no where and I hope we see more of this creature in future installments. I hope this is helpful to you and I can't wait to see more of Theakon's story in the near future!

Dechado's avatar
Dechado
All-Rounder
1 month ago
There's something I quite like about your artstyle. it's easy on the eye, and your pacing is a delight to read. Theakon is a funny character, and I cannot wait to see more of his adventures. Thank you for the dick jumpscare too!

Platinumartist's avatar
Platinumartist
Inker
1 month ago
You two did great! and I will be sure to comment on each of your comics seperately. But as a whole, they both were fun reads and I really like the takes you two did for each other's characters. I'll go more in-depth in the individual comics but you two should be happy with what you have produced.
Posted on "To a new world of gods and monsters" battle

Cab's avatar
Cab
All-Rounder
1 month ago
alas my faithful Cintiq of nine years died just as this battle begun, and while it took some time to set up a new rig, it was like learning to walk all over again so forgive my artwork if it looks funky at certain pages, its a new learning curve until I feel my sweet spot again.
Posted on "To a new world of gods and monsters" battle