ItizJR, yeah is pretty much a snapshot of Celif's life. As in "nothing gets resolved really" I don't agree, as 2 of the 3 things that happened got resolved, the one unresolved being the request from Madame Dolores.
Lastly, the long detailed description of Brett is a joke, sad you didn't find it funny, but don't worry we all enjoy different kinds of humor.
Thanks a lot for your critique, I really appreciate it.
Rock: I feel the second panel was a missed opportunity to have a wider establishing shot that actually showed the appartment instead of just telling us. In my opinion, replacing panel 3 with panel 5 would have worked better. Speaking of panel 5, the square baloons had me a bit confused as when I started reading them, I thought they were going to be some sort of inner monologue or narration. But turns out it's the person on the phone. So maybe be careful of established comicbook norms where boxes are usually used for those purposes. I dig how you introduced Brett haha "I smell crime" just immediately gives me so much info as to what he's about, but then the next panel where Celif explains his backgrond story took me out of it. I think I know what you were going for, but it just didn't work well for me. Then that suplex shot, that was money! Even that punch line afterwards from Brett haha. You brought a lot of personnality into him that was awesome. Reminded me of a cheesy 80s action flick. Overall though, I'm confused by what the story is supposed to be. Just a snapshot of a day in Celif's life? As a bunch of things get introduced, but nothing gets resolved really.
Cab: Man, those background shots on the first page are awesome! Great establishing shot of Brett on that first panel. Really, great choices of angles all around. Alot of them seeming quite intricate
for such a short turnaround. Limited on what I'll comment on since you indicated you don't want criticism but good job overall!
Rockman: you really have a knack for fitting a lot of content into a relatively small amount of space. You know how to keep things condensed without sacrificing the quality of your writing.
Cab: as always, your ability to just grind out pages on a deadline is impressive. You have one of the most consistent levels of quality on the site, no matter the circumstance
ROCKMAN- The grip you have in making a single page so eventful without feeling like there's too much going on is seriously impressive! We know Celif is a little devil but this scenario makes us really sympathetic towards him and I love that. ALSO! Thank you so much for the Sunflower and Elliott cameo!!
CAB - Blown away with the number of pages in this. The backgrounds are beautiful too; it's impressive how you were able to fit in a villian we've never seen before too
Great work, both of you!
Rockman - I really enjoyed the dynamic Celif has with Mob, and the humor is really nice in this!
Cab - Interesting story, nice job on so many pages!
Comments (7)