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Intro Story
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Uploaded June 03, 2022
Characters in this Comic

Comments (8)

Fluffsamasprime's avatar
Fluffsamasprime
All-Rounder
2 years ago
I knew there was one I forgot to comment on. I'm still on the 'I'd like to see hand drawn background' train, but this was still entertaining. The last part did get a little confusing. I thought Burlesque's ability was fading because the person he copied died. This was still really entertaining. It's nice to see some characters with a little meat on them.
Posted on Intro Story battle

Putrid's avatar
Putrid
Colorist
2 years ago
Ohh very intriguing! wondering what kind of stuff they are gonna be up to- especially with an intro like this. Loved the ending!
Posted on Intro Story battle

Heathen's avatar
Heathen
All-Rounder
2 years ago
LiquidSpoon: It's supposed to show that Trey's memory is poor. It is supposed to add to his character (Narratively it explains why Damocles doesn't just shoot another laser right away.)
It seems like an odd choice when your character is a shapeshifter. Normally a character exhibiting a suspicious lack of knowledge amongst friends is a clue that they aren’t who they appear to be. But in this case, it was just misleading. It made me go, “ok, Trey must be Burlesque, he’s acting weird”, but then Burlesque just drops in and kills Damocles, and I’m like, “oh. Wait, what?” And then I just had to try and figure out who was standing where and whether the 180 was being broken, and it got kind of confusing.
LiquidSpoon: Trey and Damocles are mean to Pimm to show that they deserve what they get.
This just makes me wonder why Pimm is with them in the first place.
LiquidSpoon: One of Burlesques's abilities makes it so that only the person being copied can tell the difference visually. so in that situation, Pimm couldn't tell them apart.
Ok, the shot, reverse shot makes it read like Pimm is looking at Butlesque’s blank face and that’s what she’s seeing, so you needed a different way to convey that clearly. For example, the shot, reverse shot showing Pimm and then Trey, they hug, and then we see from behind Pimm as they’re hugging, that it’s actually Burlesque.
LiquidSpoon: Just because you can move as fast as a bullet doesn't mean you can think at the speed of a bullet. It also says "in the room" and they're clearly outside. ¯_(ツ)_/¯
smh Thanks for addressing my questions, though. You get points for creativity, your execution just needs some work. I look forward to seeing you hone your craft!
Posted on Intro Story battle

LiquidSpoon's avatar
LiquidSpoon
All-Rounder
2 years ago
Heathen: I have questions. Why couldn’t Trey remember his prior conversations with Damocles? Why was everyone so mean to Pimm? Why did Pimm think she was shooting the impostor, but then was relieved when it turned out she shot the real Trey? How was Pimm able to shoot Trey when he has the power to move faster than the fastest thing in the room, which means he can move faster than the bullet as soon as it leaves the gun?
It's supposed to show that Trey's memory is poor. It is supposed to add to his character (Narratively it explains why Damocles doesn't just shoot another laser right away.) Trey and Damocles are mean to Pimm to show that they deserve what they get. One of Burlesques's abilities makes it so that only the person being copied can tell the difference visually. so in that situation, Pimm couldn't tell them apart. Just because you can move as fast as a bullet doesn't mean you can think at the speed of a bullet. It also says "in the room" and they're clearly outside. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Posted on Intro Story battle

Heathen's avatar
Heathen
All-Rounder
2 years ago
I have questions. Why couldn’t Trey remember his prior conversations with Damocles? Why was everyone so mean to Pimm? Why did Pimm think she was shooting the impostor, but then was relieved when it turned out she shot the real Trey? How was Pimm able to shoot Trey when he has the power to move faster than the fastest thing in the room, which means he can move faster than the bullet as soon as it leaves the gun?
Posted on Intro Story battle

snager's avatar
snager
All-Rounder
2 years ago
that was a good twist at the end op, who hurt you
Posted on Intro Story battle

Bobert's avatar
Bobert
All-Rounder
2 years ago
Darn! You should have kept the fake prince guy alive and used him as another character later on, his gimmick powers were cool. You could have a really neat diverse roster of funny little dewds.
Posted on Intro Story battle

RamenBean18's avatar
RamenBean18
All-Rounder
2 years ago
Hey Spoon! Man this intro comic came out great! The ending really pulled at my heart strings!! You did a great job with the characters! Can’t wait to see more of your stories!! As long as you keep at it, then I know you will do great things!
Posted on Intro Story battle