Oh dear I'm pretty late on this one! I want to start off by saying it will never cease to impress me when somebody can draw a vehicle that shit is hard and such a detailed bike too! Art: Your comic started off fairly strong but there is a pretty noticeable art drop once the fight hits. A lot of your fight consists of showing the same angle for a few panels and I think it would do good to play with the angles like you did in page 3. The lighting also threw me off at times it looked like random characters had a spotlight on them like the group of thugs on page 6. Lastly the plain white text sound effects became really distracting near the end. I feel like most of these can be chalked up to time issues you drew Grita and Blair well and I know you can draw good fight scenes. Good luck in the future and I can't wait to see what you make next. Story: You got some nice banter in there. It would've been nice if Grita and Blair got to interact more it was a little awkward watching Grita play narrator for the night but I attribute that crit to personal taste on my end. Some of the dialogue got me lost and it might be me not understanding the reference but what was the "ninjutsu thing"? For some reason it made me think of the "Bruce Lee thug approach" where thugs come at a character one by one. Sorry for being late to the party I noticed I had this typed out and might as well drop it in here if it'll help any.

Thanks for the critique ya'll! I'm gonna be doin some experiments with the backgrounds soon. And oh! Oh dear! I better keep this in mind for the dialogues. Thank you again. And Volk! Hope to see more of Blair. She was pretty fun!

MrPr- Nice job with the page count and colors! You had my attention throughout, and The story was easy to follow. Clear character representation, understandable abilities, straightforward dialogue. Villain guy seemed a little bland and cliche, but was clearly there to just be a set piece for the main character interaction, so I’m good with it.

A tit ripping good time

Blair hella T H I C C, though. Noice.

I got a kick out of the tit gag!

MrPr - I think the concept you went for is interesting, but the execution left me wanting. The villain’s weak and kinda distasteful imo, the action is static, and the writing felt somewhat lazy. Lampshading the fact that the characters are talking to themselves doesn’t change the fact that they’re still talking to themselves. If it was just Grita, I could accept it as a joke, but doing it with both characters? If it was truly done on purpose, and not as damage control for the dialogue, it missed for me. It’s a really easy thing to fix - make the speech bubbles thought boxes. Or have the characters chat with other characters and discuss their situation. For instance, maybe Blair wakes up in hospital/at a police station and is asked what happened, so she recounts the attack and being shot, but not having a wound. It makes the dialogue less forced, not to mention is far more interesting than just having a character wake up and think on the spot. The imagery surrounding the villain reads very “Jabba the Hutt” to me. If this wasn’t intentional, this brings me to the distasteful part - it really feels like he was made fat to make him seem more gross. It’s hard for me to explain, but it might help to think why your go-to depiction for the villain was a topless fat guy. And also why when the women fight, it’s vaguely sexual. Again, if Blair grabbing Grita’s tits in a homicidal rage was supposed to be a joke, it was a huge miss for me and just felt icky instead. Like I said in the beginning, the idea here was super interesting. A reaper being mistaken about causes of death, and then attacked by a mortal? On paper that sounds really cool! But I think you need to start pushing yourself when it comes to the story itself, because at the end of the day it still fell into a pretty basic and cliche format. I think you could benefit from workshopping your initial ideas with other people before committing to one.

Mr Pr: Congrats on the fully colored 13 page comic in for this. it's good you got all the colors and stuff for this. I would say you should practice some more gesture drawings and do compositions that pull out the camera more, all these people just come out of no where and aren't established previously. also minor thing but, i don't see why this was labeled adult, the valence is just bloody with not over the top gore and everyone except the fat guy has their nipples covered or not there so this could have just been labeled for teen. I do like how you have these nice set ups for grander stories for your characters and itnersted to see what you do with Grita

Imma dun here! Cant wait to see your side! ^^