aahh sorry this is a late comment!
Very sweet!! I honestly think your styles work together really well, they're a good fit despite how different your finished products are. It's nice to see Zita with a happy end, even if the solution is a bit deus ex machina-y - why isn't Dolly just doing that to every troubled person they meet? I still enjoyed this episode a lot!
Good acting, good pacing, good suspense, good layouts. I feel like we needed a bigger, clearer establishing shot on page 1, it was a little bit like "wait, what's going on? Where are they going and why are they stopping here?" They ended up getting something out of it, but some dialogue about them needing some new clothes, or to clean their clothes, or directions, or a glass of water or anything would have lent a bit more context and given them more motivation than mere curiosity.
I was a little disappointed at the end when Zita mentions making a tapestry, and then we don't see it. Of course they had to decline the offer, out of politeness and for the sake of time, but I would have loved to see one more page, a single illustration of Zita happily working on that tribute, or the tapestry on her wall, just a nice quiet, sunlit still moment.
Ah the sweet smell of adventure! These lil side quests/bumps in the road are actually my fav part of adventure stories so this one was particularly fun for me! The inks are slick, tones are well laid and it's got some nice pacing, it's very much just as long as it needs to be. I think my main critique would be to not be afraid to pull the camera back a bit further from time to time, I definitely think the first full on shot of the tree house deserved a bit more real estate. Otherwise, great job guys!
First of all i love the art and the inks on this it's so nice and smooth, and I'm a sucker for monotone comics that work with one color and various shades. In terms of story my favorite part is the bottom of Page 8 where Dolly's reaction tells so much by her not saying what it looks like she's thinking about. You mtenioned the idea of including a little sumarization page at the start and I think that would be a good idea for readers to keep up to date. beyond that this was really good and seeing her story is pretty fun. Also it's cool to see you do this type of long term time Pita
Cute! The art in this is wonderful :)
Writing wise, long form is tricky - regular reminders of what's at stake and why it matters to the protagonist emotionally go a long way.
Zoey is a very loveable sweet character, good job!
This is cute and I loved it!! Especially the backgrounds, and stuffed animals were amazing artwise. The story was good an ye, only note, in the last page you used the filled tool for some of the black and we can see an unfilled in outline and just keep an eye on that in the future. Otherwise fun comic!!
Hey guys, as a professional asshole, I’ll be nitpicking on the Spanish words;
At first I thought it was a typo, but it happened twice, so I couldn’t overlook it; Curse should be “Maldicio’n”.
And “Gracias -por- su paciencia” would be the rough translation of what you wanna say, which sounds and tends to be for someone who wants to be extremely formal. Thanks for waiting = Gracias por esperar could work a bit better.
Other than the translation errors, which are understandable as neither of you speak the language, I really enjoyed the comic.
Radji, always loved how you draw the characters, they always look so fluid, and Pita’s inking compliments the comic nicely. When Ragdoll was cleansed from the Maldicio’n, I would have liked to see the pages take a brighter tone, felt like all the place was dull and scary because of Ragdoll’s fears and overall mood, making it more lively would have helped so much with the atmosphere, making us all understand that Zoey’s and Dolly’s quest in there is done, and can move on knowing they’ve left a positive impact.
Good work you two, looking forward to the next entry of Zoey’s adventures.
[EDIT]
I just realized Zita has a name, and I have been calling her a Muñeca de Trapo all along.
Que vergüenza, perdo’n! :(
We're wrapping up production this weekend. Thank you for your patience. When I started writing the idea of Zoey being in a sort of purgatory place, I knew there was something she needed to do or help in. This collab here is the beginning of that story element, and I cannot thank Radji enough for his support in the story I want to tell.
CREDITS:
Script, inking, paneling, and lettering- Pita
Sketches and colors- Radji
.jpg "Page 15")
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