One-Shot Comic Battle / Pizza Man vs. swanpyart

One-Shot Comic Battle — Pizza Man vs. swanpyart

This comic has not been rated; viewer discretion advised.

*
51.3%
102 points
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Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
This was an interesting exercise. I don't think I'm ready for a webcomic just yet. I learned pretty quickly if I don't have a foreign character to fight my interest runs out pretty quickly. I do like this concept though and plan on revisiting it. If it reads at all like a fever dream that's because it was lol
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This comic has been rated suitable for teens and up by its creator(s)

*
48.7%
97 points
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Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
For a potential VOID OC, named Absurd-Her, a supervillain whose trying to reform with a fresh new start!
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Critiques & Comments
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Bobert
Artist
250 comments
# 2   Posted: Mar 2 2024, 12:13 AM
I apologise for brainfogging on this and not writing anything.

Swanpy: This was a nice comic and I definitely would love to see more of Absurd-Her. Especially if she has basically an unlimited wardrobe of outfits haha. You might as well even reuse the pages in your intro for he should you choose to submit her (dunno if that's permitted or not, someone can correct me later).

Pizza: I was gonna say words on the initial release of yours before you two redid the comic submission due to the funky website stuff. So here are more truncated and cruder thoughts. You might not be ready for a webcomic in your eyes but I'd say you are. But what that means to me personally is that you can definitely do webcomics shorter in scope instead of lengthy years and even decades spanning stories.

Batty
Global Moderator
252 comments
# 1   Posted: Feb 24 2024, 08:58 PM
Pizzaman: Really interesting concept here!! I love the introspection at the beginning making it seem like the pilot has just manifested his wish, followed by the jarring reveal that no, it's happened to everyone. The newspaper clipping was a clever way to give exposition to what happened (also I enjoyed the gag in the unreadable bit, lol). I think it was a smart choice to wait a couple pages before giving the reveal that Fletcher and Rhode were previously animals--it gives the reader space to come to that conclusion on their own, then confirms that suspicion. The reveal for what kind of animal Rhode used to be was also pretty clever, letting readers piece together the nicknames of Rhode + Red = Rhode Island Red = chicken, before again confirming it explicitly. Also, Fletcher shouting "that stupid cock" in a crowd full of people got a good laugh out of me XD
This feels like it could be the start of a fun story, or with a few tweaks could work well as a short story/self-contained short comic!
I totally get where you're coming from tho re: needing another character to bounce off. It's more fun that way! But this was still, imo, a pretty successful one-shot! My only suggestion would be to pull the "camera" back a bit on some of the panels; I couldn't tell where Fletcher and Rhode were so I was completely taken by surprise when they said they were on a train. Backgrounds are hard but they do help out a lot to establish the setting, which is important!

Swanpy: You have such an impressive grasp on how to use character expressions to convey so much; that third panel on page 1 is such a delicious gut-punch, and then the progression of Absurd-Her's expressions on page 6 are fantastic. The differences are subtle, but speak volumes even without the narration. The story itself is really intriguing, too; a supervillain turned superhero because she wants love and adoration? That's such a fun concept! Also I love Absurd-Her's designs, they're all so fun. She's got a killer sense of style. I'd love to see more of her!
My only real advice is to watch out for stray uncolored pixels; I couldn't help but notice them across several pages, the most obvious/distracting being on page 3 when Absurd-Her is walking out of the lab.

Comic Details -

 
Artist Sparring Match
Drawing Time: 5 weeks
Ended: Mar 2nd, 2024
Votes Cast: 5
Page Views: 229
Winner:
 

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