Clash of the Chitin 2 : Round 1 / Victik and the Part-Grassrider vs. Mizz Bonzai

Clash of the Chitin 2 : Round 1 — Victik and the Part-Grassrider vs. Mizz Bonzai

This comic has been rated suitable for teens and up by its creator(s)

Icon for Victik and the Part-Grassrider47.5%
218 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
Aw man don’t you love it when school and procrastination kicks in and forces you to abandon most of your ideas aw dude I love it so much-

Anyways, I’d like to apologize to my opponent - TRM - for how rushed it is. Sorry for not doing your girl justice
tags:


This comic has been rated suitable for all ages by its creator(s)

Icon for Mizz Bonzai52.5%
241 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
to be honest this turned in to something i wasn't expecting at every chance it got
tags: mizz bonzai, TechnoAlchemist, TRM_That guy that is cool, victik and the part-grassrider




Critiques & Comments
Please register or log in to comment


Batty
Global Moderator
249 comments
# 9   Posted: Feb 24 2024, 11:02 PM
Techno: Aw man, it looks like you had some really good ideas, a bummer that you couldn't get them done. :( While there's not much to go on, I will say that I at least enjoyed the bits of humor that still managed to shine through; Mizz Bonzai's line about jealousy got a good chuckle out of me, and the final line got a morbid laugh as well. Better luck next time!!

TRM: That was one wild ride from start to finish! Somehow, though, the antics never felt too 'lol random', in that they at least still more or less flowed from one to the other. I love the misunderstanding Mizz Bonzai has of thinking they need, essentially, marriage counseling instead of wanting to be physically separated. That ending tho, got me weirdly emotional out here. How dare. Also! I really loved that you had this set in the Technodome :D

IItherockmanII
Artist
180 comments
# 8   Posted: Feb 19 2024, 11:39 AM
These were crazy!!! Good job both of you!

Fluffsamasprime
Artist
567 comments
# 7   Posted: Feb 17 2024, 11:01 PM
Wonderful bug deaths!!!

wohoo19m
Artist
12 comments
# 6   Posted: Feb 15 2024, 07:17 AM
technoalchemist: Even though these are basically roughs, I can follow MOST of the story. Except page 5, no clue what's going on there lol. Too bad that you couldn't go with your original ideas as that ending just isn't satisfying at all. But the overall writing in your dialogue was very good. Better luck next time!

TRM_that guy is cool: This felt like I was looking at Picasso paintings lol I would suggest maybe not making all of the characters the same color to help with being able to identify each of them. Especially these characters who already have weird shapes. I was left very confused as to what was going on with who. You did good with communicating the different quirky personalities. I am confused by that choice of ending though, both comics seem to have suffered from this.

kubo
Artist
167 comments
# 5   Posted: Feb 12 2024, 07:31 AM
TRM_THAT GUY THAT IS COOL - Good job on the comic, you got a lot going on here and I don't feel like you had to compromise on the quality to do it all. Your line work is pretty solid, though I would love to see some spot shadows to help break up the shapes a bit. I think my biggest struggle was trying to differentiate the characters in some of the panels. You have a lot of details in each panel and I think playing with your line weight and blocking out more shapes will help with that. I also had a hard time knowing which word bubble to read first at times. I struggle with making sure there is enough space in my panels for the word bubbles all the time. What I have found that works best for me is to draw in the bubbles when you are doing the initial sketches so that you know how much space you have to draw your characters beforehand. This way you won't have to place your bubbles outside of your panels, which can make reading tricking. I do wish the ending was tied into the story a little bit more. It felt very abrupt and off topic. I know you said that the story turned into something you weren't expecting, that's pretty normal. I recommend writing out your whole comic idea out first. This lets it be what it wants to be, then you can go back and rework some of the plot points so that you can tie the ending into the rest of the story. (An example of this would be after writing the script for this comic and realizing that your opponent would be dying during surgery, you could go back and introduce the panther man character earlier, or suggest that splitting might be really dangerous or impossible.)

Sorry for rambling. One last thing I would like to add is that I love the shopping montage. I could tell that what you really wanted to work on and it was a lot of fun to see Victik and the Part-Grassrider react to the different outfits.

Good job and I can't wait to see more of your comics!

kubo
Artist
167 comments
# 4   Posted: Feb 12 2024, 07:10 AM
TECHNOALCHEMIST - Even when external forces prevented you from making the comic you wanted you still turned in something. Congrats :D

That being said, as rough as the art was in this comic, I do like how the personality of the characters still shine through. The roughness of some of the panelling made it difficult to read what was happening, specifically at the end. I am still unsure how Mizz Bonzai actually died. If you ever find yourself in a pickle like this again, I recommend not doing the grey background, I feel it makes it look more unfinished. If you put a stroke on your word bubbles then you won't need the grey to separate it from the background. If you do want to keep the grey, however, I suggest keeping it within the panels. This will make it easier to read and boost your layout design. Again, congrats on finishing your comic!

Radji
Artist
623 comments
# 3   Posted: Feb 12 2024, 03:12 AM
techno: I share Jelly's opinion than while understandable, the cut page make miss Bonsai's death too sudden. Otherwise, while it's a shame you couldn't finish your comic like you wanted, I still liked where you were going.

TRM: Who knew such a tragic and heartfelt (pacifist) death could work so well??

SirJellyRaptor
Artist
105 comments
# 2   Posted: Feb 11 2024, 08:47 PM
Techno: I like what you're going for, it's unfortunate you weren't able to get thus at least a bit more finished. Given the state of the comic, I understand the decision to cut the page you shared in the server, but I think if that page could have gotten finished enough to include, the comic could really have used it. Mizz Bonsai's death feels way too sudden as is, the context would have helped a lot here.

TRM: I'll echo the common sentiment  that this is a bery cute comic, especially for a death tourney. I will also say, though, that you could really benefit from working more on laying out panels and speech bubbles. To be specific, just be careful  about where you let a speech bubble overlap the panel boundaries and carry into other panels. Like on page one, the bubble from panel 5 encroached heavily on panel 3 above it, and that disrupts the flow of reading. Usually if ypu have this overlap it should  help.lead from one panel into the panel that comes after it, which you also do a few times. But other than that, keep up the good work.

Bobert
Artist
239 comments
# 1   Posted: Feb 11 2024, 07:13 PM
Techno: It's great that you still got something in, I wish your workload was more balanced because I always look forward to your art when it isn't affected by intense stress.

TRM: Now this comic was good, you made a good sad story and you put out a complete work. Eager to see your next leap!

Comic Details -

 
Death Match
Drawing Time: 3 weeks
Ended: Feb 18th, 2024
Votes Cast: 14
Page Views: 253
Winner:
 

Add to Playlist -

 
 

Newest Comments -

 

Opus
Simon vs. Kurdis

@ 10:52 AM Feb 27th

Smile
Luniel Gekka

@ 7:56 PM Feb 25th

Memory
A Dog

@ 4:16 PM Feb 25th

 

Newest Characters -

 
TheakonRod ChirpwoodHuskMizz BonzaiSpidella WidowsMyrmidonGhoulArcher Heart MercuryDuncan DealbhaothTarkosDrawura
 

Open Challenges -


Random Comic -


Most Wanted -

 
Black SwanLilyfeatherCrikey DileKuboChickenMannUltraNagoreDairyuCleverRickter & GusWendigoTalonTheakon
 


Latest Topics -

 
All News, All The Time 
Last updated: Staff Bot - Feb 29, 2024, 02:53 AM
Clown Jam 
Last updated: Radji - Feb 11, 2024, 04:51 AM
INTRODUCE YOURSELF 
Last updated: Maz - Nov 06, 2023, 04:13 PM
FAQ: Questions About Void? Post Yours Here! 
Last updated: Darius Corry - Sep 09, 2023, 03:15 PM
Art Diary of an Eternal Student 
Last updated: BoogidiBzdo - Aug 22, 2023, 09:17 PM
 

Latest Members -


Users online -

 
93 Guests, 0 Users


Most Online Today: 130.
Most Online Ever: 1,184 (Jan 13, 2020, 06:21 PM)

 

About Us

We exist to provide an environment for artists to learn and improve their sequential art skills competitively. Our community is designed to give critical feedback and encouragement to our many members the world over, at all skill levels.

Follow Us