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Intro Story —

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# 5   Posted: Jan 30 2023, 03:42 AM
Eager to see more of Mono Xa!!!👀🙈

# 4   Posted: Jan 21 2023, 11:40 AM
Very nice. Dont' have anything to add that Pizza didn't already go over

Pizza Man
# 3   Posted: Jan 5 2023, 02:17 PM
This character has quite the backstory it'll be interesting seeing how you go forward with this character! It's not often we see a character who feels the need to atone for their actions but also has lost the will to care about their self image: there's a lot of ways that can go and plenty of interactions to be made in void! the designs are interesting to look at, too.

On the technical side:

Your characters are eye catching on their own, but when you placed them in the environment here, I didn't have enough establishing shots to follow the action. Zooming out and giving actions more breathing room would help us follow by slowing down the pacing and highlighting the story beats. examples: page 2 the first thing the reader sees is somebody walking and next panel is the narrator. but the narrator isn't explaining what is currently happening for us, so it seems like the person walking might be the narrator, Code, or Code's attacker. While the reader may get the gist of what happened the impact wasn't as strong as it could have been if you had picked one small moment of Mono's life instead of a sort of clip show of important events. On page three specifically Mono's intervention is confusing because the reader doesn't know the history of all the characters. It is nice to see some show-don't-tell by showing us everyone is scared of Mono, the innocent and the evil alike: but that tells us "what" and not "why".
 The small establishing shots you had were too close-up, for example: the second panel in the last page loses me on where exactly the character is and what they're doing. A possibly cleaner way to convey all these ideas would have been to open on Code being attacked, their attacker running away, and then Code or Mono giving us a flashback to show us why they're afraid of Mono. Saves some energy, gives room for establishing shots and emotional beats.

I like the enthusiasm you have for your characters and we can tell you're excited to get started learning about comic making with Mono/Tick and Tock and we can't wait to see more! good luck and welcome!

# 2   Posted: Dec 31 2022, 08:34 AM
Interested in seeing more of Mono! I like his design a lot

# 1   Posted: Dec 29 2022, 02:55 AM
Hopefully you do more funky things with Mono in the future!

Comic Details -

Beyond Battle
Ended: Jan 4th, 2023
Votes Cast: 8
Page Views: 382

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