Fluff- I like the colors in this and Balsipher's tricksy monologue. The impact of the egg is great!
Kubo- the grid is neat, and so many pages! I like this little guy but I too was a little confused at the end first time thru!
Great Escalations 2022 Round 1 / Balsipher vs. Ancile
Critiques & Comments
# 13
Posted:
Oct 10 2022, 02:28 PM
# 12
Posted:
Oct 8 2022, 08:17 AM
Fluff - I love how this comic turned out, and honestly would have loved more! (I'm glad you made the comic the length it did so it would look so nice though.) Balsipher is a really fun character, and making Ancile destroy his own egg was clever, I would love to see more of Balsipher in the future.
Kubo - Honestly, I'm really not a fan of the impossible to guess riddle, and I don't agree that the reasoning as to why it was still used is sufficient. That aside, the pages look lovely, and I love the limited color palette. Ancile comes off as coy and as a prankster, with how he misleads Balsipher with the answer and lets him go off to his doom.
Really nice comics from both of you!
Kubo - Honestly, I'm really not a fan of the impossible to guess riddle, and I don't agree that the reasoning as to why it was still used is sufficient. That aside, the pages look lovely, and I love the limited color palette. Ancile comes off as coy and as a prankster, with how he misleads Balsipher with the answer and lets him go off to his doom.
Really nice comics from both of you!
# 11
Posted:
Oct 5 2022, 01:48 AM
Gdi I loved both of these.
Fluff - I love Balsipher, he feels like an old man who thinks too much, or believes he’s still an expert on everything despite his failing memory. The scar was brutal, somehow both unexpected and expected, because man that ramble would make anyone a bit paranoid.
Kubo - Idk how I missed Ancile’s intro but I love them? Really interesting concept and great design! I also love the limited palette and grid style approach you took here. The story flowed very well and if I’d read this as a standalone, I would’ve thought Balsipher was your own character the way he’s woven in. Excited to see what you do with Ancile and the egg in the future.
I found the scar somewhat unclear though, and it’s not a great sign if you need to explain it in the comments for people to understand. I couldn’t even tell what had actually happened at first, due to the unusual design of the whistle. It honestly looked more like an ocarina to me. That being said, it was a very nice design and is a unique scar to say the least.
Fluff - I love Balsipher, he feels like an old man who thinks too much, or believes he’s still an expert on everything despite his failing memory. The scar was brutal, somehow both unexpected and expected, because man that ramble would make anyone a bit paranoid.
Kubo - Idk how I missed Ancile’s intro but I love them? Really interesting concept and great design! I also love the limited palette and grid style approach you took here. The story flowed very well and if I’d read this as a standalone, I would’ve thought Balsipher was your own character the way he’s woven in. Excited to see what you do with Ancile and the egg in the future.
I found the scar somewhat unclear though, and it’s not a great sign if you need to explain it in the comments for people to understand. I couldn’t even tell what had actually happened at first, due to the unusual design of the whistle. It honestly looked more like an ocarina to me. That being said, it was a very nice design and is a unique scar to say the least.
# 10
Posted:
Oct 4 2022, 06:01 PM
Fluff: I really like the direction you took with Balsipher not actually dispensing any wisdom but rather just going on a philosophical ramble lol. The art was really pleasing too, with some fun poses and angles and layouts despite being a fairly tame comic action-wise. I especially love the panel of Balsipher stretching--very well done there hehe.
Kubo: The layout you're using for these comics is so neat, especially all the creative ways you utilize breaking out of the borders, contrasted with the times you do stay in the panels. The limited color scheme is also very pleasing to look at!! For me, the only thing that really stands out is how empty the city feels. Like, it very much feels like the only people in the entire city are Balsipher, Ancile, and the statue-prison. Not sure if that was intentional--perhaps going off the aftermath of Arma? But it gave the impression of walking through an abandoned, deserted city. I do also think that the story kind of leans right up against the limits of suspension of disbelief--mostly because the sheer coincidence of Ancile being nearby when they're most needed, and being the first person Balsipher comes across when their name is the key, feels a bit too much to be pure coincidence. Now, this could be a hint that there's Fate at work here, which would make sense if you're going for a Roman-style story, but I think in that case there does need to be at least some mention of it in-universe. Such as the characters commenting on Fate setting them on this path or something. Overall, though, super creative scar--though I am absolutely glad I'm not the one who has to deal with figuring out how to work around it, lol. It's a difficult one for sure!
Kubo: The layout you're using for these comics is so neat, especially all the creative ways you utilize breaking out of the borders, contrasted with the times you do stay in the panels. The limited color scheme is also very pleasing to look at!! For me, the only thing that really stands out is how empty the city feels. Like, it very much feels like the only people in the entire city are Balsipher, Ancile, and the statue-prison. Not sure if that was intentional--perhaps going off the aftermath of Arma? But it gave the impression of walking through an abandoned, deserted city. I do also think that the story kind of leans right up against the limits of suspension of disbelief--mostly because the sheer coincidence of Ancile being nearby when they're most needed, and being the first person Balsipher comes across when their name is the key, feels a bit too much to be pure coincidence. Now, this could be a hint that there's Fate at work here, which would make sense if you're going for a Roman-style story, but I think in that case there does need to be at least some mention of it in-universe. Such as the characters commenting on Fate setting them on this path or something. Overall, though, super creative scar--though I am absolutely glad I'm not the one who has to deal with figuring out how to work around it, lol. It's a difficult one for sure!
# 9
Posted:
Oct 4 2022, 10:19 AM
ok guys, this battle was pretty epic
Fluff, i think this is some of your top work ever. everything looks properly complete and consistently polished! the characters have unique and personal speaking voices. I think you've gotten better at drawing wings just for Balsipher. Such a nice character design (red winged blackbird?). It's nice to see what his personality is like, here. Playing off Ancile was a nice way to be introduced to Balipher's whole bag. I think he's super cute and I'm looking forwards to seeing you utilize him in new ways converse yet supportive to your already established cast of bird monsters! assuming he survives this contest, of course!
Kubo, you don't pull any stops, do you? when the only flaw I can find is some feral typos and misspellings, you know it's pretty solid work. I can't figure out who the narrator is, but I think that's intentional. like maybe the egg is the one talking? but it took a couple re-reads to understand if the narrator is Balsipher. is it maybe supposed to be that the internal monolog is similar for both main characters?
anyway, the subtle redirection with the title of the chapter being 'name' means we the audience thinks Balsipher's answer to the riddle is right, too, only for him to answer the riddle wrong. it helps humanize him. the suspense you rose with each exchange of riddle and answer was pretty great, too. I really thought Balsipher was going to eat Ancile.
the whistle curse is also a really creative scar that I think suits the motif of an ancient mythological, magical being really well. It'll be interesting to see how it carries over into future stories, if this scar wins!
I'm also anxious to know how the egg works more.
Fluff, i think this is some of your top work ever. everything looks properly complete and consistently polished! the characters have unique and personal speaking voices. I think you've gotten better at drawing wings just for Balsipher. Such a nice character design (red winged blackbird?). It's nice to see what his personality is like, here. Playing off Ancile was a nice way to be introduced to Balipher's whole bag. I think he's super cute and I'm looking forwards to seeing you utilize him in new ways converse yet supportive to your already established cast of bird monsters! assuming he survives this contest, of course!
Kubo, you don't pull any stops, do you? when the only flaw I can find is some feral typos and misspellings, you know it's pretty solid work. I can't figure out who the narrator is, but I think that's intentional. like maybe the egg is the one talking? but it took a couple re-reads to understand if the narrator is Balsipher. is it maybe supposed to be that the internal monolog is similar for both main characters?
anyway, the subtle redirection with the title of the chapter being 'name' means we the audience thinks Balsipher's answer to the riddle is right, too, only for him to answer the riddle wrong. it helps humanize him. the suspense you rose with each exchange of riddle and answer was pretty great, too. I really thought Balsipher was going to eat Ancile.
the whistle curse is also a really creative scar that I think suits the motif of an ancient mythological, magical being really well. It'll be interesting to see how it carries over into future stories, if this scar wins!
I'm also anxious to know how the egg works more.
# 8
Posted:
Oct 3 2022, 01:03 AM
These were both very good in how they diverged.
# 7
Posted:
Oct 2 2022, 09:23 PM
Honestly I thought about it a bit after commenting and came to the conclusion that, yeah, it wasn't supposed to be solvable by anyone but Ancile, and presenting it as a riddle was more like leading Balsipher on than it was implying there was actually a way to solve it. and to go off my own point, what is considered common knowledge is definitely something that varies from culture to culture. I'll admit I was out of line, there, and I'm sorry.
Quote from: SirJellyRaptor
Don't apologize, you caught on to something I intentionally left there. A lot of what I write is left to inferring which hopefully leads to more discourse like this. I'm excited to see people reading into it.
# 6
Posted:
Oct 2 2022, 05:23 PM
Honestly the thing that struck me the most was the panel layout. As someone who was caught up by page layout more than anything in my own entry, this feels like a stroke of genius to me, having a grid but being flexible about the boundaries. My only point of contention is the big riddle at the center of the narrative, just because the answer is so specific and requires specific knowledge. To me a riddle should be something anyone could answer with the right amount of cleverness. Poetic and deceptive ways of describing things or ideas that everyone should be familiar with, or barring that, the solution should be ascertainable from the question itself. Having the answer be tied to some aspect of an ancient mythology makes it impossible to answer for anyone unfamiliar with that particular piece of trivia. It's like Tolkien's riddles in the dark. Bilbo asking what's in his pocket isn't a riddle, there's no way for Gollum to know besides guessing. Maybe I'm thinking too heavily into this, but it left a bad taste in my mouth, I guess. That might be a personal hold up more than actual critiqueQuote from: SirJellyRaptor
Thanks for the comment. Most riddles are culturally bound and may be more difficult if the metaphors are foreign and unfamiliar. A lot of the Old Norse kennings are fairly simple to figure out yourself but Ive come across a bunch that I had to look up to learn what they meant. Also the prison was not meant to be solvable by anyone. Balsipher was at a big disadvantage because it was more of a password or key rather than a puzzle.
Quote from: kubo
Honestly I thought about it a bit after commenting and came to the conclusion that, yeah, it wasn't supposed to be solvable by anyone but Ancile, and presenting it as a riddle was more like leading Balsipher on than it was implying there was actually a way to solve it. and to go off my own point, what is considered common knowledge is definitely something that varies from culture to culture. I'll admit I was out of line, there, and I'm sorry.
# 5
Posted:
Oct 2 2022, 05:05 PM
Honestly the thing that struck me the most was the panel layout. As someone who was caught up by page layout more than anything in my own entry, this feels like a stroke of genius to me, having a grid but being flexible about the boundaries. My only point of contention is the big riddle at the center of the narrative, just because the answer is so specific and requires specific knowledge. To me a riddle should be something anyone could answer with the right amount of cleverness. Poetic and deceptive ways of describing things or ideas that everyone should be familiar with, or barring that, the solution should be ascertainable from the question itself. Having the answer be tied to some aspect of an ancient mythology makes it impossible to answer for anyone unfamiliar with that particular piece of trivia. It's like Tolkien's riddles in the dark. Bilbo asking what's in his pocket isn't a riddle, there's no way for Gollum to know besides guessing. Maybe I'm thinking too heavily into this, but it left a bad taste in my mouth, I guess. That might be a personal hold up more than actual critique
Quote from: SirJellyRaptor
Thanks for the comment. Most riddles are culturally bound and may be more difficult if the metaphors are foreign and unfamiliar. A lot of the Old Norse kennings are fairly simple to figure out yourself but Ive come across a bunch that I had to look up to learn what they meant. Also the prison was not meant to be solvable by anyone. Balsipher was at a big disadvantage because it was more of a password or key rather than a puzzle.
# 4
Posted:
Oct 2 2022, 05:00 PM
Here is how the scar works.
Balsipher has been transformed into a whistle, punishment for trying to break into the prison.
It is a prison in itself and also his physical form.
When someone blows the whistle, Balsipher is aloud to take a spectral form for a time.
Balsipher is allowed this form as long as the song of the whistle can be heard.
How far he can travel from the whistle is also determined by how far the song can be heard.
I'm going to leave it up to Fluff on how Balsipher can interact with the world. Maybe if the "whistle was blown true" he can touch things but if it was weak maybe he acts like a ghost?
Balsipher has been transformed into a whistle, punishment for trying to break into the prison.
It is a prison in itself and also his physical form.
When someone blows the whistle, Balsipher is aloud to take a spectral form for a time.
Balsipher is allowed this form as long as the song of the whistle can be heard.
How far he can travel from the whistle is also determined by how far the song can be heard.
I'm going to leave it up to Fluff on how Balsipher can interact with the world. Maybe if the "whistle was blown true" he can touch things but if it was weak maybe he acts like a ghost?
# 3
Posted:
Oct 2 2022, 02:02 PM
Fluff: don't have much to critique, the visuals are solid and the premise works. I'm getting the sense that Balsipher doesn't actually have any knowledge to distribute, just a lot of philosophical meandering , and honestly I'm a fan of that idea of complete nonsense being misconstrued as some sort of deep wisdom. Idk if that's what you were going for but it works for me
Kubo you absolute madman, how you were able to pull this off in two weeks I simply do not know. Honestly the thing that struck me the most was the panel layout. As someone who was caught up by page layout more than anything in my own entry, this feels like a stroke of genius to me, having a grid but being flexible about the boundaries. My only point of contention is the big riddle at the center of the narrative, just because the answer is so specific and requires specific knowledge. To me a riddle should be something anyone could answer with the right amount of cleverness. Poetic and deceptive ways of describing things or ideas that everyone should be familiar with, or barring that, the solution should be ascertainable from the question itself. Having the answer be tied to some aspect of an ancient mythology makes it impossible to answer for anyone unfamiliar with that particular piece of trivia. It's like Tolkien's riddles in the dark. Bilbo asking what's in his pocket isn't a riddle, there's no way for Gollum to know besides guessing. Maybe I'm thinking too heavily into this, but it left a bad taste in my mouth, I guess. That might be a personal hold up more than actual critique
Kubo you absolute madman, how you were able to pull this off in two weeks I simply do not know. Honestly the thing that struck me the most was the panel layout. As someone who was caught up by page layout more than anything in my own entry, this feels like a stroke of genius to me, having a grid but being flexible about the boundaries. My only point of contention is the big riddle at the center of the narrative, just because the answer is so specific and requires specific knowledge. To me a riddle should be something anyone could answer with the right amount of cleverness. Poetic and deceptive ways of describing things or ideas that everyone should be familiar with, or barring that, the solution should be ascertainable from the question itself. Having the answer be tied to some aspect of an ancient mythology makes it impossible to answer for anyone unfamiliar with that particular piece of trivia. It's like Tolkien's riddles in the dark. Bilbo asking what's in his pocket isn't a riddle, there's no way for Gollum to know besides guessing. Maybe I'm thinking too heavily into this, but it left a bad taste in my mouth, I guess. That might be a personal hold up more than actual critique
# 2
Posted:
Oct 2 2022, 12:25 PM
Both of these comics were so well done! Fluffsamasprime's looks beautiful and was a fun read. I love how the pages were colored. RIP egg.
I love how the panels are done in Kubo's, and I'm impressed by the number of pages you were able to get done in such a short amount of time! How the scar was done was also very creative, I would have never guessed how this comic ended.
I love how the panels are done in Kubo's, and I'm impressed by the number of pages you were able to get done in such a short amount of time! How the scar was done was also very creative, I would have never guessed how this comic ended.
# 1
Posted:
Oct 2 2022, 12:18 PM
what's black and white and red all over?
Comic Details
Add to Playlist
Newest Comments
Chapter 1: The Lost Library
Cedric je Saint
@ 6:56 PM Mar 19th
DIOV Tournament Chapter 0: Prolouge
01
@ 6:53 PM Mar 19th
A Feast of Entrails
Sanguine vs. Cornelious Husk
@ 1:40 PM Mar 18th
DIOV Tournament '23 Round One
Charlotte Grey vs. Harrison Merrystide
@ 8:21 AM Mar 17th
Midnight Desert
Rae and Blue
@ 1:14 AM Mar 16th
Newest Characters
Open Challenges
Random Comic
Most Wanted
Latest Topics
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
|
Latest Members
Users online
45 Guests, 1 User
Most Online Today: 59.
Most Online Ever: 1,184 (Jan 13, 2020, 06:21 PM)
Artist
Kubo! Thanks again for another battle! I loved you used Balsiphers love of ribbles against him and the appearance of Maru!