Intro Story / Roxanne Jay Feather

Intro Story — Roxanne Jay Feather

This comic has been rated suitable for teens and up by its creator(s)

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Page 1Page 2Page 3

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
This is the official Roxanne intro comic!

Critiques & Comments
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# 9   Posted: May 29 2022, 04:52 PM
I’m not sure she thought this through.

# 8   Posted: May 26 2022, 08:07 AM
I should actually comment on the comic instead of just making jokes about Void City's economy XD

I second the notes about your backgrounds! You have some really fun and creative stuff that feels like you're referencing real world environments while also adding some really creative touches! One thing I'd personally recommend that could punch them up just a little bit more is to ink over those polygons by hand so they look a bit more natural, especially for softer stuff like the bed. Boxes can help you get a good perspective, but they have a tendency to make backgrounds look artificial. Just something to try out and see if you like it! Your backgrounds are already really good in this comic either way 😊

I'm curious about the creepy looking bird following Roxanne around! I'm wondering if they're a reference to your original intro comic or if they're going to play a big role in Roxanne's future comics. I'll just wait and see!

Something else I think you can work on is getting characters' proportions more consistent. I noticed that in a previous comic, and I think this comic is already more consistent, so if that's something you've been working on intentionally, you're on the right track! Switching to a chibi form occasionally is totally valid ofc, but I think you could pay a bit more attention to head-to-body ratio, hair size and shape, and neckline in this particular case. In some panels she has cleavage, although for most of the comic I think her neckline is high enough that she shouldn't have cleavage unless she's wearing the world's most padded push-up bra. I think just having a clear idea of her proportions and making those more consistent would add a lot of polish to what's already a big improvement from past comics!

I really like this intro. I think Roxanne is a cutie and I love her flowy dress so much, especially on page 3 where her sleeves look more like flutter sleeves and the skirt looks a bit more ruffly. And I think her hair has a very unique and fun shape! Very fun design overall. I can't wait to learn more about Roxanne, see more of this cool city you've designed, and find out who the mysterious figure in the background is!

# 7   Posted: May 26 2022, 07:36 AM
girl's looking to buy commercial property with a budget of $270, she'll be lucky to find a place with weekly rent that low, smh
Quote from: Reecer6
The inflation rate between USD and Wulongs is crazy so $270 is probably actually like a million Wulongs so it's fine.

# 6   Posted: May 25 2022, 02:05 PM
girl's looking to buy commercial property with a budget of $270, she'll be lucky to find a place with weekly rent that low, smh

# 5   Posted: May 24 2022, 03:15 AM
I concur on the cityscape and backgrounds! They have gotten better with time and you improved on them really well!

# 4   Posted: May 23 2022, 01:34 PM
Your backgrounds are getting better and better! This is a neat reintroduction to Roxanne!can't wait to see your next comic with Roxanne

# 3   Posted: May 23 2022, 12:42 PM
That's one calm and smooth moving to Void!
Hope nothing bad happens to her...

Why is my "stranger danger" sense tingling?

# 2   Posted: May 22 2022, 04:10 PM
I really like page 2's city scape, it was crazy. Also nice touches on the hand rail at the bottom

# 1   Posted: May 22 2022, 12:53 PM
This is very beautiful and very well done, I love it 🥰

Comic Details -

Ended: May 29th, 2022
Votes Cast: 14
Page Views: 250

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