Invitational Tournament 2022, Round 1 / Vale & Sylvia vs. Leonore Phyre vs. Maple and Lily

Invitational Tournament 2022, Round 1 — Vale & Sylvia vs. Leonore Phyre vs. Maple and Lily

This comic has been rated suitable for teens and up by its creator(s)

Icon for Vale & Sylvia28%
348 points
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Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
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This comic has been rated suitable for teens and up by its creator(s)

Icon for Leonore Phyre29.6%
368 points
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Crit level: No preference
This was my first comic. Due to language I rated this as teen but it is open to anyone.
tags:


This comic has been rated suitable for teens and up by its creator(s)

Icon for Maple and Lily42.4%
528 points
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Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
F i g h t
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Critiques & Comments
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Platinumartist
Approval Committee
177 comments
# 13   Posted: Apr 9 2022, 09:25 AM
Oof, thee ways are always a challenge because of having to balance the story between 3 characters but the fact that everyone here managed to make a story and submit in the small time you guys were granted shows your skills as a comic creator and a story teller well done!

Johannhawk: The set up in the beginning of your story looks really good. I kinda like the dynamic of the characters you have here, hopefully we see more of you guy in the near future!

LordDrakkon:I like the solid line work and the facial expressions, they look great and I'm happy that you were able to get your round done in time! Here is to seeing more of Leonore in the near future!

Lil_Drawins: Wow! The spot Blacks and the backgrounds are really good and very solid. Can't wait to see more of Maple and Lily in the near future!

Batty
Global Moderator
252 comments
# 12   Posted: Mar 25 2022, 09:54 AM
Johann: Story-wise, this was a really good setup! I do wish there had been a little more foreshadowing about the giant mech and where it was in relation to the characters because it did feel like it came out of nowhere a little, but other than that it was a nice little fight where 'enemies' end up working together and then become allies. I think you might've bit off a bit more than you could chew in a week, though, judging by how unfinished some of the pages were--I'll give you props for at least making them mostly legible, but it's something to keep in mind for next time to manage your time and know your limits! I'd also say it might be a good idea to replace your arrows with more traditional action lines; the arrows really don't give a sense of motion the same way action lines do, instead looking more like static graphic design elements if that makes sense? That said, I do very much enjoy your lineless style! It's kinda nostalgic, somehow.

Drakkon: There's something to be said for knowing *exactly* where you get your artistic inspiration, lol. It's not necessarily a bad thing! Dragon Ball Z has a very distinctive style which can be very fun to emulate, but it might be worth it to look outside DBZ for inspiration as well--especially since you likely aren't going to find the exact poses you want through just using DBZ. Expressions too--I can tell you largely used Vegeta for inspiration, mostly because you often give him the same sort of angry lowered brows. Again, it's fine to have a character who is angry all the time, but some more variation in facial expressions will do you wonders. There were times when Leonore was saying something neutral or even positive but it was hard to read it that way because he just looked so pissed off. Not saying you'd have to draw him with a big ol grin, but maybe just softening up the brows a little would have helped! On a more positive note, I really gotta commend you, for your very first comic this is pretty damn good! You clearly don't shy away from more difficult poses, which is commendable. I look forward to seeing how you grow :D

Drawins: I already loved Maple and Lily and now I love them even more, omg. Out of the three, I think you managed your time best, giving us a tight, complete story with some really good visuals and some *excellent* spot blacks. I think my only critique is that I would've liked to have seen a shot of Leonore slowly getting up before unleashing h is fire; as is the transition was a tad jarring. but that's a minor thing especially considering the time constraints. Hella hyped for more Maple and Lily :D

ArtsandGoodies
Artist
566 comments
# 11   Posted: Mar 22 2022, 12:07 AM
Johanhawk & Lorddrakon: congrats to both of you, i tend to consider like 3-4 page a good average for one week and you both did 12 which is ambitious and congrats on getting them to a mostly complete stage. You are both at around a similar skill level in terms of draftsmenship and I wanted to provide some resources and videos that can help you grow in your art. This video is about form which is something you both can consider practicing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6T_-DiAzYBc if you both spend like 20-30 minutes a day doing practices like this as warm ups your growth will be rapid and immense. I also have some more individual recommendations for you each.

johan: So your writting turned out really good and managing to tell a story of this length in one week is very impressive. Since some of the final pages ended up with stick figures another practice i would recomend you try doing is gesture drawings. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74HR59yFZ7Y&list=PLTlZSPbm1zgJUT_CljARO0Z1xpCaFoY8O 1-2 minute gesture drawings when you're starting out are essentially using dynamic lines to make something as simple looking as a stick figure but with more energy. if you do 20-30 mintues of one minute gesture drawings from life drawing and poses that's 20-30 drawings in one day, that's adds up very very quickly. https://line-of-action.com/ here is a good site you can use for that.

Also the lines seem very pixelated. even though you need to submit at 1000 px wide, you should be working on at least double the size, this gives you a bunch more leeway with the art and able to do more details. also not sure if you have a tablet or were using mouse but if you have a tablet make sure the pen pressure is on. also if not Huion has some great cheap tablets for under $100 and i used one for 5 years so it's a great one to start out with.

Drakkon: You influence from DBZ is really strong and I wanted to recommend an exercise that you would prolly enjoy. here are two videos that have some good pracitces you can do by studying the art you enjoy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=emcO79uteN4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEvMHRgPdyk I personally really enjoy most all of his videos but i can understand some people not liking his style. however the content is definitely valuable and doing these will help you figure out more what you like the draw. Also some other manga who's styles you may want to study from are Records of Ragnarok's manga, as well as Jojo's Bizzarre adventure style.

LilDrawin: I love your inks and especially the way you draw Vale. The story was also very tight, the only crit I have is the inconsitency of background which ended up making it a little confusing. In the first page there is this establish room they're going into. but in the next shot there's a very clear dark starry sky and the rest of the comic is sort of blank on the background. if the place was establish as having no roof or sticking with just the roof this would be an easy fix for that. I love your style and great job with this comic.

Flytee
Community Manager
353 comments
# 10   Posted: Mar 21 2022, 11:18 AM
Getting a 3-way 1 week battle as your debut is ROUGH. I just want to say you all rose to the challenge and did fantastically :)

 Johann- You've had some great feedback, so I'll just say congrats on your first comics and welcome to void! I look forward to watching you develop as an artist.

Drakkon- Again, congrats and welcome! This was an undeniable impressive amount of pages. Crit wise, I will admit I found the dragon ball influence a bit distracting at times I'd love to see your own unique style bloom from these inspirations. I'm sure this will happen over time!

Lildrawins- I adored this comic, short and sweet with really tasty art. This served as a really nice intro to these ladies and you made your opponents look badass as well. Legit no complaints, I'm excited to see what you do next!
 



Bobert
Artist
250 comments
# 9   Posted: Mar 21 2022, 07:06 AM
Johann: Same as Drakkon you did 12 pages in one week you absolute mad bastard. I could follow most of the comic just fine but the final page left me slightly confused if it was Sylvia and Vale talking or some other unknown party and this was your way of foreshadowing them. Actually I think you didn't focus on your characters enough, that's your weakpoint in this comic. Of course giving focus to so both your opponents and also going above the call of duty to include something from Voids past should be commended. Gotta balance it out baby.

Drakkon: Yo, you did 12 pages in one week and also traditionally? You're positively bonkers. Your only weakpoint is just a few spelling errors here and there that I think you should be a bit more mindful of. I think if you keep doing what you're doing right now you will get dividends. Also "who the fuck are you talking about, I need what's in the cave for my people" is priceless, priceless comedy.

Lildrawins: My brain exhausted from trying to be critical but your comic takes the cake in terms of drawing skill and quality, very good spot blacks and understanding of value. I think you could have explained what Vale, Sylvia and Leonore were fighting about a bit better, what was the impetus? Was Vale going to collect a bounty on him? I would have liked to have gotten an answer on that. Although, I think doing a story in 4 pages the way you did was still good, even if you didn't provide a context for why Vale and Leonore had fought you made me want to know more and so you made me want to read more, so you had me engaged and I loved that it was complimented by your great art.

Fridgeman
Artist
8 comments
# 8   Posted: Mar 21 2022, 04:27 AM
JOHANN: Very impressed with the wide scope you took for the first round, it’s a hell of a way to start off. Always love to see you going for large-scale shots in your work.
LORDDRAKKON: Your posing in this comic is very good, and your page count (and the detail included) for 1 week is incredible. Very much enjoyed reading this,
LILDRAWINS: I *adore* your inking in this comic, the use of spot blacks works to your advantage very well. You’ve got a lot of skill at showing motion and building momentum through backgrounds, and I love to see that. Either in the tournament or outside of it, I’d love to go a round or two against you.

Putrid
Artist
208 comments
# 7   Posted: Mar 18 2022, 06:25 PM
These comics were so so FUN! I had such a blast reading evert single one of them!

JOHAN- Real good stuff, the colors and shapes were nice and clear! You have a good sense of pacing and the angles on the panels are interesting too

LORDDRAKKON- This one has a very special place in my heart, this was so entretaining and fun to read- I kept wanting for it to go on forever. It's clear to me that you are very passionate about Leonore interacting with other characters, and it is contagious!

LIL DRAWINS- WOWW, that inking is SPECTACULAR, Maple and Lily are absolutely adorable. The lettering and effects are gorgeous to boot, this was such a feast for the eyes!

Elyan
Artist
132 comments
# 6   Posted: Mar 17 2022, 09:00 AM
Johannhawk! man  you definetely make up with writing and entertainment for your lack in art experience. i had difficulties seeing what was going on over all but at the same time its so rough but thoroughly coherent i felt motivated to look what was going on which is not easy to achieve i think. The fight scene was nice enough and the dynamic was just enjoyable and i think this is considering your art right now a great first showing.

lorddrakkon! i second pyras here on the font aspect. the generic font hurt the reading experience a little. But overall this was another proper first showing! congrats on getting these many pages done. loved how you ended this. totally wholesome!

Lil_drawins! god this was such a charming showing of this threeway! i love the vagueness with the sentient sword and the surprise and the reveal of vale with leonore. great panel composition too! overall a pretty sweet smooth read :D

PyrasTerran
Artist
1513 comments
# 5   Posted: Mar 16 2022, 02:54 PM

Welcome to Void!

JOHANNHAWK: Many early artist are afraid of starting a comic with a big establishing background shot, and for that you get points. As you continue to grow in your skills I hope you keep the same desire to zoom out and show us the world around the characters.

LORDDRAKKON: Congrats on getting so many pages out in so short a time, you have a full episode script here and that's an accomplishment. I recommend looking at Blambot or DaFont for a better comic font to use for your future stories. You'll be surprised how much good lettering and word balloon work can do for pages.

LILDRAWINS: What I like about this comic is that even with the short page count you were able to give your opponents nice cool shots. Solid work all around, the only SFX that felt like it could have used more TLC was for panel 1 page 4, but it's clear you have a good handle on your lettering in general and I encourage other new artists in this tournament to follow your example.

johannhawk
Artist
21 comments
# 4   Posted: Mar 15 2022, 08:46 PM
Finally getting around to reading these

Drakkon:
i like the crisp lines throughout the comic. I think you handled everyone's goals and resolutions rather well here with the central conflict in the cave.

Lil:
Well woven plot throughline right there with the "free sword" and the revivication. A couple of lovable adventurers in over their heads.

johannhawk
Artist
21 comments
# 3   Posted: Mar 15 2022, 02:17 PM
I'm not sure if you added them along with the labels because you ran out of time to draw them and show them to us, but I feel like they distracted more from what was happening. For me reading, it didn't really offer clarification to what was happening in the moment until I re-read a few times.
Quote from: Minteh

I wanted to put labels directly on the vials but they were too small for that.
In hindsight i could've made workarounds for that with something like zoom-in panels but the execution would've been the same.

DesDemonical
Artist
45 comments
# 2   Posted: Mar 15 2022, 09:09 AM
Johann-haha I laughed when vale was revealed to be tied to a giant spider-mech's leg. Some creative ideas, even if it may have been a bit longer than you were able to create! I did enjoy how you color coded the characters to make them easier to tell apart at a distance

Drakkokn-I enjoyed the way you lingered on each character's introduction, to let them all have a chance to shine in the spotlight

Lil! Really enjoyed how tightly paced yours was. It was short but introduced each character very effectively and conveyed a well-drawn story in just four pages. Really efficient and enjoyable read

Minteh
Global Moderator
275 comments
# 1   Posted: Mar 15 2022, 07:41 AM
LordDrakkon and Johann you had 1 week to draw five character and BOTH OF YOU WENT WITH 12 PAGES!? Y'all are crazy but I'm here for it haha.

Johann: It does look like you ran out of time towards the end, but I liked what you were doing! It's always fun to see everyone working together to take down something bigger, these were really fun characters to do that with, too! My biggest criticism is all of the arrows! I'm not sure if you added them along with the labels because you ran out of time to draw them and show them to us, but I feel like they distracted more from what was happening. For me reading, it didn't really offer clarification to what was happening in the moment until I re-read a few times.

I think your character dynamics and how everyone fit together was a real strongpoint! There were a lot of interactions and I could really get a sense of each character's unique-ness through your comic!

LordDrakkon: I can really feel your art inspirations in this, it was a super fun read! Leonore is really showing off how so much time to hone your skills can really put you head and shoulders above, it definitely felt like Vale, Maple and Lily were squaring off against a titan! Also the Garfield line absolutely killed me lmao. I think you also suffered from the timeframe and the amount of pages, props to you for submitting mostly clean lineart all the way through cause that's tough, but there's a lot of floating in white void going on! You def don't need a background in every panel, and you did establish where we were and call it back, I assume you focused on what you needed to tell the story and you told it well, but I'd love to see what you can do when you have more time to manage a page count like this!

Lil': It looks like you really know what you're doing! Aside from your gorgeous lines, the camera placement was top notch, everything flowed really nicely! A super strong showing and a really clever way to handle the number of characters in a limited number of pages. I'm in love especially with page 1 panel 4, page 2 panel 2, and page 4 panel 1.

Comic Details -

 
Regular Match
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Mar 22nd, 2022
Votes Cast: 22
Page Views: 975
Winner: lil_drawins
 

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