Footini, this might be my favorite comic from you to date! The writing, the art and the colors go so well together. So jealous of your knack for comedy. Really really good stuff! Love how faithful you were to Tiff's personality too and her love of sweet treats.
Ramen - Gonna echo this crazy output of yours for a week. Very impressive and colored too! Only major crit I have is I wish more focus was put more into Jaja than the purple-haired lady in the intro but it's really nice to see some backstory about Issac. Great work overall though!
Speed Dating 2022, Round 1 / JaJa vs. Issac Ember Heart
Critiques & Comments
# 6
Posted:
Feb 8 2022, 09:50 AM
# 5
Posted:
Feb 6 2022, 04:06 PM
Footini: I gotta agree with the others, your colors are gorgeous in this. so soft and warm, even when you're using cooler tones. There's just this really cozy, almost nostalgic feel to everything. The panel layouts were fun too, and I enjoyed the little gossip sesh with Tiffany XD flashbacks are sometimes hard to manage, but I think you pulled it off well!! Your speech bubbles have definitely improved, but there's still some times I think where your text could use work. Some advice that I've personally seen and adopted is that your dialogue text should always be the same size unless, like, someone's screaming at the top of their lungs or basically whispering--and even then, whispering can be achieved by using a different kind of speech bubble rather than changing the font size. The reason I bring this up is because there's several times where your font size fluctuates, and sometimes it gets almost too small to read (specific example: second panel of page 2, Jaja's text gets really small). It's a bit of a readability issue, on top of making it look like the characters are constantly fluctuating volumes of speech. Which, I mean, people DO, but. it can get a lil distracting in comic format lol. Also I am still noticing a bit of that white pixelated border in some places. It's much better than last comic though so that's an improvement!! Just something to keep an eye on--though, to be fair, with such a limited time frame, it's not too big a deal tbh.
Ramen: This is a LOT of pages to get done in a week, holy cow!! and everything's pretty solid art wise; the chibis are adorable, and the more realistic style is pretty eye catching as well. However, story-wise, everything feels kind of... disjointed, almost? There's a lot of good story beats, but ultimately that's kind of all they are; little flashes of story before we move on to the next one. Tbh you probably could have condensed the meeting with SweetPea down to only one or two pages, then the setup to a page, then been able to give the interaction between Issac and Jaja have more room to breathe; instead, we jump straight from them meeting at the speed date and having Jaja be confused by his telepathic abilities... to them in bed together. It just feels like we missed a couple steps in between!
I'll admit I also have mixed feelings about the Millenium Falcon joke--on the one hand it DID make me wheeze-laugh for a solid, like. 30 seconds. XD On the other hand, though, it ended up kind of adding to the disjointed feeling, because it came out of nowhere and then was never addressed again? Like. Why was there a TIE fighter in Issac's mindscape. did Jaja bring it there? Has Issac seen Star Wars??? I gotta know!!
side note chibi Egg Dealer is fuckin adorable
Ramen: This is a LOT of pages to get done in a week, holy cow!! and everything's pretty solid art wise; the chibis are adorable, and the more realistic style is pretty eye catching as well. However, story-wise, everything feels kind of... disjointed, almost? There's a lot of good story beats, but ultimately that's kind of all they are; little flashes of story before we move on to the next one. Tbh you probably could have condensed the meeting with SweetPea down to only one or two pages, then the setup to a page, then been able to give the interaction between Issac and Jaja have more room to breathe; instead, we jump straight from them meeting at the speed date and having Jaja be confused by his telepathic abilities... to them in bed together. It just feels like we missed a couple steps in between!
I'll admit I also have mixed feelings about the Millenium Falcon joke--on the one hand it DID make me wheeze-laugh for a solid, like. 30 seconds. XD On the other hand, though, it ended up kind of adding to the disjointed feeling, because it came out of nowhere and then was never addressed again? Like. Why was there a TIE fighter in Issac's mindscape. did Jaja bring it there? Has Issac seen Star Wars??? I gotta know!!
side note chibi Egg Dealer is fuckin adorable
# 4
Posted:
Feb 5 2022, 01:12 PM
might be too late to fix, but i think the final page of Ramen's side was supposed to have a blank thumbnail covering it because of the lewds oops . sorry if someone already addressed this.
anyway
really nice work, you two! it's really impressive that you both went full color and multiple pages, trying to show off everything you've both learned this past year!
Footini: I like the story you told. it's a great idea to show the characters establishing a relationship rather than just showing them on the first date. why didn't i think of that <u>;
and you got a lot of story to fit on just 5 pages, too. I like the color pallets a lot and i'm wondering if there's some correlation to emotional tone between the colors, like maybe: orange/hornee and blue/lonery.
ramen: you've shown a lot of improvement. this comic finally gives me some ideas for what I want to do for our round. I like how you conserved energy by resorting to chibi art for most of it, then flexed your full powers by going more realistic. but the shift is weirdly jarring for me. it also feels strange that you included Issac's intro comic in the front of your battle with footini, but for organization sake, i guess it doesn't make a difference. I guess this just sort of explains in a meta way that Issac was created for the speed date tournament, so that's ok.
good luck you two, and i'll be seeing you both IN THE AREANA.
anyway
really nice work, you two! it's really impressive that you both went full color and multiple pages, trying to show off everything you've both learned this past year!
Footini: I like the story you told. it's a great idea to show the characters establishing a relationship rather than just showing them on the first date. why didn't i think of that <u>;
and you got a lot of story to fit on just 5 pages, too. I like the color pallets a lot and i'm wondering if there's some correlation to emotional tone between the colors, like maybe: orange/hornee and blue/lonery.
ramen: you've shown a lot of improvement. this comic finally gives me some ideas for what I want to do for our round. I like how you conserved energy by resorting to chibi art for most of it, then flexed your full powers by going more realistic. but the shift is weirdly jarring for me. it also feels strange that you included Issac's intro comic in the front of your battle with footini, but for organization sake, i guess it doesn't make a difference. I guess this just sort of explains in a meta way that Issac was created for the speed date tournament, so that's ok.
good luck you two, and i'll be seeing you both IN THE AREANA.
# 3
Posted:
Feb 4 2022, 02:40 PM
Footini: I love the anecdotal narrative, it was really fun bouncing back and forth between the past and present and the ever-expanding sundae was a great visual gag on the side. Your colour use was really helping along the story you were telling and it all fit together nice and neat!
Ramen: You did so much setup, that's a lot of finished pages for a week! I really love your simplified styles for characters further away, Issac's face when Sweetpea was buying his groceries for him was especially cute. I love his lil tusks. I'm curious about the shadow horns on page 6, even inexperienced as he is he seems pretty sincere so I'm wondering if he's not quite what he seems!
Ramen: You did so much setup, that's a lot of finished pages for a week! I really love your simplified styles for characters further away, Issac's face when Sweetpea was buying his groceries for him was especially cute. I love his lil tusks. I'm curious about the shadow horns on page 6, even inexperienced as he is he seems pretty sincere so I'm wondering if he's not quite what he seems!
# 2
Posted:
Feb 2 2022, 06:47 PM
Footini, this was really funny, some of the lines really got me. Your recent colors have been really nice too.
Ramen, this comic has it all! I think you’re making loads of improvement recently. Can’t wait to see more of this character.
Ramen, this comic has it all! I think you’re making loads of improvement recently. Can’t wait to see more of this character.
# 1
Posted:
Feb 2 2022, 07:02 AM
This looks amazing Footini!!! Spotted that Easter egg!!! π
Intro Story
Vidia
@ 7:45 PM Jul 6th
Something about Arma
Spoon
@ 6:52 PM Jul 6th
Oculus: Prologue to Armageddon 2022
Miller and Naialah
@ 12:12 PM Jul 6th
Impending Extinction
Oleander vs. Mob
@ 10:37 AM Jul 6th
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Council
Don't have a lot of notes on this one in terms of improvements. I think your characters can be a bit inconsistent, but that's not the worst thing. They're all cute and nice to look at, and that's what matters. You did great!
That said, this was a cute comic, and I want to know more about Issac's journey of discovering this new world and adapting to living in it! Sweet Pea is a cutie, and I do want to see more of her! Always nice to see comics from you π